Why It’s Difficult to Keep Up Appearances with Friends

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Comparison is the thief of joy, and keeping up appearances with friends can be detrimental to one’s physical, mental, and financial health. As you scroll through your Facebook or Instagram timeline, you witness the highlights of your friends’ lives. However, people mostly share their triumphs rather than their struggles. In today’s social media-driven world, where meticulously crafted profiles and highlight reels dominate our online presence, the pressure to maintain a façade with friends has become increasingly arduous.

On these platforms, you are exposed to their accomplishments, extravagant trips, new cars, lavish weddings, and piles of gifts on Christmas and birthdays. Social media continuously raises the bar for what people with average salaries feel compelled to do in order to compete not only with celebrities but also with their own friends, striving to be perceived as successful.

We strive to present ourselves in a positive light, showcasing our best moments and achievements. However, behind the polished facade, preserving these appearances can take a toll on our mental and emotional well-being. In this article, we will explore the reasons why it has become difficult to keep up appearances with friends and delve into the potential consequences of this constant need for validation.

1. Fear of Judgment
The fear of being judged is one of the primary reasons why maintaining appearances with friends is challenging. We worry that if we reveal our vulnerabilities, struggles, or imperfections, our friends might perceive us differently. This fear drives us to constantly seek validation and present an idealized version of ourselves instead of embracing our true selves.

2. Influence of Social Media
The rise of social media platforms has significantly contributed to the pressure of keeping up appearances. Platforms like Instagram and Facebook emphasize the importance of portraying a flawless life filled with extravagant vacations, glamorous events, and remarkable accomplishments. Comparing our lives to the carefully curated content of others can leave us feeling inadequate, fostering a sense of insecurity and compelling us to maintain a facade that aligns with societal expectations.

3. Emotional Exhaustion
Comparing ourselves to others diminishes our own accomplishments and robs us of the joy we should feel for our own success. Constantly presenting an idealized version of ourselves to friends can be emotionally draining. When we feel the need to always appear happy, successful, and content, we deny ourselves the opportunity to express our true emotions. Bottling up our feelings can lead to increased stress, anxiety, and a sense of isolation, as we fear that revealing our struggles may result in rejection or disapproval from our friends.

4. Unrealistic Expectations
The pressure to keep up appearances with friends arises from the unrealistic expectations set by society. We are bombarded with images and stories of seemingly perfect lives, leaving us feeling inadequate if our own lives don’t measure up. This can create a vicious cycle of comparison and self-doubt as we constantly strive to attain an unattainable standard of perfection.

5. Authentic Connections
By constantly trying to maintain appearances, we risk sacrificing authentic connections with our friends. True friendships are built on trust, empathy, and vulnerability. When we present an idealized version of ourselves, we deny our friends the opportunity to know us on a deeper level. Embracing our imperfections and allowing ourselves to be vulnerable fosters genuine connections and creates a supportive network of friends who accept us for who we truly are.


The most significant issue arises when people live beyond their means, often by neglecting savings and accumulating debt. They can create the illusion of living a lifestyle they cannot actually afford.

In conclusion, while the desire to keep up appearances with friends is understandable, it is crucial to recognize the toll it can take on our well-being.

It is essential to remember that true friendships are built on honesty, trust, and acceptance. Embracing our vulnerabilities and being our authentic selves will not only strengthen our relationships but also enhance our overall sense of well-being. Let us break free from the cycle of appearances and foster deeper connections based on genuine understanding and support.

Sources: 1 & 2

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