Marriage & Family

What you can do to support a loved one who has been cheated on

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So your loved one has been cheated on by their spouse. What do you do?

First and foremost, don’t ignore them. This is a time when they need your support more than ever. Offer to listen to them, let them cry on your shoulder, or give them the space they need.

Never judge them. They are already dealing with a lot of pain, so don’t make things worse by making them feel like they did something wrong. Let them know that you love them and will be there for them no matter what.

Continue reading for more detailed ways to support a loved one who has been cheated on.

Check-in on them

Your loved one may not be ready to talk about what’s going on, and that’s okay. Offer to help them out with anything they need—running errands, making dinner, picking up their kids from school, whatever.

Listen without judgment

When someone you love has been cheated on, it’s difficult to know what to say or do to make them feel better. The best thing you can do is just listen. Don’t criticize the situation, instead, let them talk openly about how they’re feeling.

Help them express their feelings
a lady trying to express herself

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Allow them to express their feelings in whatever way they feel comfortable. Don’t try to talk them out of how they’re feeling or tell them they should be over it by now. Just let them talk. Also, offer practical support, like helping them pack up their belongings or accompanying them to counseling appointments.

Assist them to regain a sense of control

It can be tough to see someone you love go through a tough time like this, and your instinct might be to do whatever you can to make them feel better. But one of the most sensible things you can do is simply to give them the space they need to heal.

It’s important that they feel like they have some control over their life again, and that they aren’t constantly being bombarded with other people’s feelings and opinions on the matter. Let them know that you’re there for them, but give them the time and space to come to terms with what has happened on their terms.

Being cheated on is a feeling of betrayal no one wants to go through. Some people might need to talk to a therapist, while others might need to join a support group. What’s essential is that your loved one has someone who understands what they’re going through. You can help by being there for them, both emotionally and physically. And if they need to speak about the situation, be prepared to listen without critique.

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