How To Survive Awkward Holiday Gatherings

This is the season when party invitations pour in. From family gatherings to company celebrations, the holiday cheer assails you from every angle. Not everyone holds the cheerful tune in the same manner.

If you have social anxiety or have a tendency to be awkward during parties, then you are not alone. Many people experience “holiday anxiety”. Here are some ways to deal with it…

#1: EMBRACE THE SMALL TALK

Whether you like it or not, small talk is the core of social gatherings. If you label yourself as a person who is not good at conversation, you might be so stressed about the things you say that you end up saying nothing at all. Navigate through casual conversations by preparing for it.

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Share at least two interests or experiences. Or better yet, dwell on the new things that you can learn from the person that you are talking to. Focus on the other person. Ask simple questions such as “What keeps you busy?” or “How do you see your field changing a few years time?” You may also ask a couple about the story of how they met.

#2: ACCEPT THE PARTY DYNAMICS

Be honest with yourself! You probably get along better with your friends than your family or co-workers. That is completely understandable. You have chosen your friends based on your compatibilities. Being with them this holiday season can be a breeze!

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While, family members are fixed whether you are like-minded or not. Accepting this fact can help you quit expecting to get along with everyone. Instead, focus on loving your family in spite of your differences.

#3: BE OPEN TO STRANGERS

Parties are the breeding grounds of strangers. I know that you are way beyond the “stranger danger” stage, but you might be worried about meeting new people. The anticipation of interacting with strangers can stimulate personal questions such as will you be boring or weird during the conversation. Stop ruminating about these thoughts!

Remember that a conversation is a two-way street. It is not your duty to carry the talk the entire night! If the person seems uninterested or less chatty, he or she may be tired or preoccupied. Who knows? This person may be socially awkward too.

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Above all else, you must do your best to stay present in the moment. Post your holiday photos a day or two later. You do not need to compete online or keep up with the people who brag about how amazing their holiday experiences are!

Sources: 1 & 2

 

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How To Become A Money Magnet

Equipped with a best-selling spirituality book, you realized that there was a secret to cultivating the life you want. I know how bizarre this sounds, but hear me out! Rhonda Byrne, The Secret’s author, claims that our thoughts can influence the world we live in. This concept of manifesting destiny is called “Law of Attraction”. According to this concept, investing positive energy and belief can lead to a desired outcome. In contrast, negative thoughts may attract negative outcomes.

Similar to other philosophies, the Law of Attraction stresses how the universe and its creations are made of flowing energy. Your energy can be used to either attract or repel money. To attract money based on the Law of Attraction, you may follow these steps.

STEP #1: OBSERVE YOUR THOUGHTS

How can you lure money into your life, if you feel negative about it? What goes around comes around. Before changing your thought patterns, awareness of your thoughts on money is important. Be mindful with how you speak about money and wealthy people.

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Do not be quick to diminish your worth. Instead, appreciate what you have. Law of Attraction entails that you train the universe to send you more money by receiving and appreciating it.

STEP #2: RE-FRAME YOUR THOUGHTS

Have you noticed that whatever you do in two weeks straight usually becomes a habit? The act of repetition is essential to reprogram the minds of animals as well as humans. Reprogram your mind to attract money by wishing for abundance.

Law of Attraction encourages you to send positive signals to the universe by dressing the part, by surrounding yourself with money savvy individuals, and so on. Behave in a way that is directed towards your desires.

STEP #3: MAKE A LIST

Visualization is one of the key tools of the Law of Attraction. It allows you to create a path that you can reach for. You are empowered to create a vision for your financial life. Be clear about the amount of success and abundance that you want to achieve. It is recommended to practice visualization on a daily basis.

Dive into the feelings of abundance by either making a financial list or by making a money vision board. Practicing visualization on a daily basis may open opportunities to manifest these items.

Sources: 1 & 2

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Thrive In The Workplace With These Personality Traits

When applying for a position, professional success and industry experience are merely parts of what the hiring manager wants to see. Elements which are harder to show are crucial for landing the job! I am referring to the personality traits that make you a good fit for the company.

Keeping the job with these personality traits is another story!

#1: INTEGRITY

It goes without saying that upholding moral principles is a desirable quality in the workplace. Hence, some hiring managers conduct integrity tests by providing situational questions. The employer needs to know that you can be trusted even without his or her presence.

Do you steal company pens on a regular basis? Or, do you leave early without saying a word? You may think that no one sees these subtle dishonesty, but you are wrong. You never know who is watching you! You best behave well. Choosing the “right” thing to do is challenging, but you must not give in to your selfish desires.

#2: OPENNESS TO FEEDBACK

When it comes to the workplace, being open to receive developmental feedback or constructive criticism is crucial to success. Receiving these messages can help you to efficiently hit your career goals.

The secret to receiving and giving feedback is to come into the conversation from a place of kindness. Keep in mind that you are not receiving constructive criticism because the person dislikes you. Instead, this person wants you to be the best version of yourself. Taking things personally or reacting defensively can surpress a more practical strategy that you can adapt.

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For people who are not comfortable with receiving feedback, immersion therapy is recommended. Make feedback a part of your daily life. Ask feedback from the people you work with as well as the people who knows you best. This way, future feedback will be easier to take.

#3: ADAPTABILITY

Whether you are shuffling a schedule with your pregrant co-worker or relocating to a new town, nobody wants to listen to your complaints. Accepting that change is a part of the constantly-evolving business world is important.

Say that you are not comfortable with the frequent changes happening in your workplace. Instead of immediately voicing out your emotions, you may write these feelings down. Organizing your thoughts can help you distinguish whether these are legitimate concerns or annoying complaints. Urgent matters need to be discussed with the team.

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Nonetheless, flexibility is a desirable trait in every industry. Having a positive attitude about change and unforeseen events can help you grow in your career.

#4: DISCIPLINE

Discipline is the practice of training people to obey rules or a code of behavior. It is the action or inaction related to the code of ethics or the rules governing your company. Discipline is more than just ticking all the boxes of your to-do list. It is an attitude that can pour out to all of your professional decisions. An employee with a poor attitude will not go very far in life!

If you aim to be a boss one day, you need to develop self-discipline. Say that you cannot manage your own time. How can you expect your employees to manage theirs? Self-discipline in the workplace involves arriving on time and resisting the temptation of skipping “boring tasks” such as attending meetings or organizing files.

#5: KINDNESS

Work may be the place where you want to be kind, but being likable can get you far! Likable or pleasant people tend to have more employment opportunities as well as co-worker support. Pursuing your career goals while keeping the best interests of others in mind is ideal.

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Nasty people do not always finish first! You do not need to step on people’s ways to get ahead of the employee ladder. Focus on advancement while noticing the needs and feelings of those around you.

Sources: 1 & 2

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Why Do People Think That You’re Poor?

Whether it is the way you dress up or the way you carry yourself, people are usually quick to judge whether you are wealthy or not.

I vividly recall the time when my university friend asked me hangout. In our tight group, she announced that I should be given the opportunity to choose the restaurant that night. I was flattered at first until she stressed that I was the “poorest” one. I soon realized that the girl was not a genuine friend. True friends support each other no matter what.

Her perception was influenced by the fact that I did not have a job at that time and was only relying on my parents’ allowance. Knowing how much money an individual makes can completely change your perception of them. As much as you want to deny that money makes no difference in your perceptions, it definitely does!

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People can judge your worth in a variety of ways including these:

#1: WHAT YOU WEAR

It goes without saying that your clothing leaves a lasting impression. In a snap of a finger, a person can determine whether you are a successful businessman or an unemployed student. Flashing your designer bags and watches can give you a heads up!

#2: HOW YOU TRAVEL

In some cases, your form of transportation can send a message about how much you make. People who travel via car are seen as more successful than those people who take public transportation. The same goes for people who travel via business class as supposed to travelling via economy class.

#3: WHERE YOU LIVE

Singapore’s land scarcity has led to living situations such as government housing, landed estates, and condominiums. The last two options are perceived as more lavish than living in HDB flats. Size and location matters!

#4: HOW YOU SPEND

Being frugal may be seen as a poor man’s strategy to survive. Some people feel the need to fly under the radar when couponing. While, others are ready to open their coupon binder and shop. A stranger may perceive your fondness for coupons as a desperate move.

#5: WHAT YOUR FACIAL CUES ARE

A study once compared the faces of different groups that vary per gender and race. As it turns out, the other factors mattered less. People carried a “wealthy appearance” due to their facial cues. Some faces seem to be more experienced and are deemed to belong to the poorer group.

According to Psychologist Thora Bjornsdottir, a PhD candidate at the University of Toronto, “the signals in your face about your social class can actually then perpetuate it”. People with a wealthy apperance are more likely to be hired for the job as it creates a self-fulling prophecy, which influences your interactions and opportunities.

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Whether someone seems poor or not, it is important to know that our feelings should be tied up with how people act with their money. Are they greedy or generous? Are they willing to loan to a relative or not?

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How To Be A Positive Influence In The Workplace

There is a considerable amount of weight in Newton’s third Law of Motion. According to him: “every action has an equal and opposite reaction”. Simply put, forces always come in pairs! No matter how small your action may be, it can either cause a positive or negative influence in the workplace.

Aim to radiate a pleasant effect in the workplace by considering the following ideals:

A Two-Way Street

Let us start with the basics. Without a shadow of doubt, influence is a two-way street. The more that you let others to incorporate their ideas to your vision, the more that they will be open to incorporate your ideas to their work. Take time to listen to your co-workers’ opinions and acknowledge their worth. You may also encourage other people to speak up.

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Being Polite Goes A Long Way

During a child’s crucial years, etiquette is one of the first things that you are expected to instill. You need to highlight the importance of treating others in a way that you want to be treated. Being able to say “please and thank you” in suitable situations can cultivate mutual respect. Whenever you are delegating a task to your subordinate or asking a favor to your boss, it is better to display good manners. People will go above and beyond to assist you when they are treated with courtesy and admiration.

Having good manners shows that you care about your co-workers the people around you. Furthermore, it can open doors to building lasting friendships.

The Familiarity Principle

I am going to introduce you to an interesting concept in Social Psychology – the Familiarity Principle. According to this principle, we are attracted to the people who are familiar to us. Repeated exposure to “familiar people” will increase our attraction toward them. We are magnetized by the people who share the same interests, attitudes, behaviors, or beliefs. Apply the Familiarity Principle to your workplace by finding a common ground between you and your co-workers.

Start by making time for casual conversations. Ask them about their weekend or rejoice over the upcoming holiday. Small talks can uncover parts of their personalities (e.g., food preferences) and can lead to meaningful conversations. Remain professional without prying or over-sharing. Building positive interactions with the people you work with will make challenging situations less stressful.

Bond with your co-workers outside of the workplace by taking the initiative to plan events or to dine outside. Having a good relationship with the team makes any workday fun!

Show Your Flexibility

There are two types of people in the workplace. The people who are receptive of change and the people who are resistant of it. Assertiveness is a truly positive trait. However, pushing your own beliefs to others can work against you in the long run. Showing your flexibility in every situation and accepting better opinions can increase the respect that people have for you. This does not mean that you have to let go of your beliefs entirely!

Firmly hold on to your beliefs when someone contradicts you. Then, arrive at a mutually acceptable solution. No matter how stubborn a person may seem, they are more likely to approach you when you show your flexibility.

Let Them Help You

Do you believe you know everything? Well, think again! You are not an omniscient being, nor is your boss. Every day gives us an opportunity to learn new things. Broaden your knowledge by learning something new from your peers and supervisor. Intellectual curiosity proves your humility and maturity. After all, you must let others to influence you in a positive manner before being able to influence them in the same light.

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Never be afraid to ask questions or to request help. If you are stuck with a certain project or assignment, ask for help! Accept support instead of settling for a mediocre result.

Sources:  1, 2, & 3

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