What To Do When You Feel That You’re Not Good Enough

Your heart is racing. You wanted to say something during an important meeting at work. As you open your mouth, an inner critic stumbles you with doubts. “What if you are wrong?”, says the voice inside you. You saved yourself from embarrassment by keeping your mouth shut. You felt that you were not good enough.

Moreover, you want to ask your longtime partner to take the next step. Something inside you keeps you from taking action. You doubt that she will agree. When doubts brew, you tend to fear the outcome and undermine your abilities. Self-doubt will stop you from reaching your goals. Identifying these false beliefs is the first step to eliminating them.

Believing in yourself is essential in reaching your dreams. On that note, here are some things that you can do when you feel that you are not good enough.

#1: QUIT COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS

My uncle usually stresses how comparison is the thief of all joy. We get so caught up in comparing our lives with everyone else’s highlight moments. This is the reason why we struggle with insecurities. It is important to know that the people you compare yourself to compare themselves to other people too. These people may seem to have it all but, they do not!

They are beautifully imperfect human beings going through the same challenges as you. Instead of comparing yourself to others, you must try to connect with others. Connecting with others can be as simple as greeting your neighbors. Be kind without being submissive. You do not have to agree with others all the time. Everyone has a right to their own perspective and opinion.

#2: KNOW THAT YOUR MIND CAN BE VERY CONVINCING

Do not believe everything you think. There are times when your brain may trick you into thinking that you are less capable of what you can accomplish. Notice your thoughts. It is unhealthy to give so much power to the negative ones. Instead, you must train your inner critic to shift into a coach that challenges you to be better.

Encourage yourself to transform the negative thoughts into positive thoughts. If you do not deem yourself to be worthy, you will deprive yourself of many opportunities.

#3: BELIEVE THAT THERE IS MORE RIGHT WITH YOU THAN WRONG

Jon Kabat-Zinn once said: “Until you stop breathing, there’s more right with you than wrong with you.” You are a testament of how beautiful life can be. There are lots of things in your life that most people pray for.

Identify the internal and external qualities that you like about yourself. This will help you put things into perspective. For starters, you are alive and are able to create new paths whenever you choose to.

#4: NOTICE THE POWER OF YOUR SCARS

Your past experiences shape who you are today. Moreover, your scar is a symbol of your strength. It is a reminder of whatever hurt you has now healed. Be proud of the scars that life has left you with. You conquered the pain and grew stronger on the other side.

Accept what you have gone through and appreciate the lessons you have learned along the way. If you have an opportunity to talk about your scars or to share your wisdom to others, do so.

#5: EMBRACE FAILURES AND MISTAKES

Failures are necessary in life. The mistakes during your first year at work help you become more successful during your second year. Failure helps us to be more compassionate, empathic, and kind to others. Without failure, we would not grow. It is through our failures that we learn the greatest lessons that life has to offer. These struggles help us to appreciate our successes.

“Just because you fail once, doesn’t mean you’re gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don’t, then who will, sweetie?” -Marilyn Monroe

#6: MAKE PEACE WITH THE NOW AND ACCEPT YOUR PAST

If you do not accept your past and make peace with the present, you will not be able to enjoy your future. As you make changes in your life and reach for the next step in the professional or personal ladder, you must acknowledge the importance of being appreciative with where you are now.

Image Credits: unsplash.com

Life is a journey. It is up to you to walk towards something you feel rewarding and satisfying. Know that you are good enough!

Sources: 1 & 2

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How To Master The Art Of Giving Speeches

For some people, merely thinking about public speaking can cause their palms to sweat. It is one of the most common fears out there. However, there are many ways to overcome your fear and deliver a memorable speech. Here are some useful tips.

#1: DO YOU KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE?

Know the reason why you are asked to talk in a room full of people. Identify your audience. It is important to identify your audience to know what they want or need to take away from your speech. If you are speaking in front of your friends at a wedding, entertain them. If you are speaking in front of your co-workers, inspire them.

#2: HAVE YOU REHEARSED?

Make time to practice your speech. Write down your goals and the content of your speech ahead of time. This will ensure that your muscle memory will work while you deliver your speech. Try practicing despite having different distractions to mimic real-life situations.

#3: WHICH STYLE WORKS FOR YOU?

While others may benefit from having their script memorized, some may perform better with a few notes on a paper. Different events will usually require a different style. Know which style works for you.

#4: HAVE YOU TESTED ALL THE EQUIPMENT?

Nothing is more frustrating than last-minute technical difficulties. Avoid adding more stress to your day by testing all the equipment and audio visual presentations ahead of time. It is best to have backups too.

#5: HOW DID YOU USE YOUR BODY LANGUAGE?

The right physical or non-verbal communication can have a profound impact on how your message is interpreted and received. Be aware of your body language! For instance, you must make eye contact. Face your audience and stand straight. Avoid crossing your arms or putting your hands in your pockets.

#6: DID YOU GRAB ATTENTION?

Grab attention by refraining from starting a speech with what today’s talk is about. Instead, use an interesting anecdote or a shocking statistic to kick things off. Conclude your speech with a summary and a strong statement that your audience will remember.

#7: HAVE YOU TRIED ENJOYING THE EXPERIENCE?

Image credits: unsplash.com

Fake it until you make it. If you look bored, then the audience will think that you not interesting. Exude confidence by adding a little humor (i.e., as long as it is appropriate) and interesting anecdotes. This will help you and your audience relax. Remember to eliminate sentences that does not clearly support your purpose. Remember that it is not about you, it is about your audience.

Sources: 1 & 2

 

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How To Increase Motivation At Work

With the multitude of global issues that we are facing right now, it is normal to experience burnout. Motivation is the drive that conquers burnout. Self-motivation is having the initiative to do a task without being supervised or being told to do it.

Think of two things you like doing and two things you do not like doing. From this simple exercise, you will realize which activities motivate you. Motivation drives our behaviors and there are two primary types of it. These are external and internal motivation.

With external motivation, you are doing something because the activity will bring some reward or benefit at the end of it.

For instance, you may visualize the act of job hunting. It is not something you do to pastime. People job hunt because they want an outcome – a job. The motivation for actually working is also usually external. We are motivated to go to work because we are paid to do so.

In contrast, internal motivation entails doing something purely because you love doing it. The more internally motivated an action is, the more enjoyable it usually is. So from the point of view of happiness, it makes sense to have more internally motivated activities in your life. People who are internally motivated show more interest and excitement over what they do. You are usually better at internally motivated actions too. You show more persistence and creativity. You are likely to have increased happiness and self-esteem by pursuing what internally motivates you.

Think about some of the things you do on a regular basis. Are you mostly externally motivated, acting in for the rewards? Or are you mostly internally motivated? It is important to know which type of motivation is strongest for you. If you follow this, your performance will likely improve and you will generally be happier.

DEVELOPING INTERNAL MOTIVATION

With the bulk of tasks we have to finish in a day, do not expect everything to be internally motivated. Internal motivation is developed and maintained when we are autonomous, competent, and supported.

We feel autonomous when we can make our own choices and decisions.
We feel competent when we know that we can do things.
We feel supported when we are connected to others.

BECOMING MORE COMPETENT

1. Practice what you need to do or perform beforehand.

2. Look for positive feedback, but value constructive criticisms. Your motivation will become stronger if you can find some way of getting positive feedback on your progress.

3. Break down your tasks and goals. If a task is very complex and challenging, breaking it down can help you stay motivated. It makes things more sustainable and attainable.

4. Make sure the difficulty level matches your ability. You want your goals and activities to be reasonable. It should not be too easy, because you will get bored. It should not be too difficult, because you will get frustrated.

KNOWING THE PITFALL OF EXCUSES

Unsuccessful people often have good reasons for not hitting their goals. Successful people use those same reasons as their motivation. Practice transforming your excuses into motivations. Here are some examples:

1. I can not give up. I have to do this for my children.

2. I have to study harder, so that I can properly teach my students.

Image Credits: unsplash.com

What are you hustling for? Motivation is strongest when it comes from within. Let me close by highlighting what Don Wilder once said: “Excuses are the nails used to build a house of failure.” Build a house that you deserve.

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5 Sneaky Tricks Advertisers Use To Get Your Money

Subliminal messages exist for a reason. You see, most of our decisions are made on an unconscious level. This means that our behaviors are influenced by our wishes, interests, and motivations.

Say that you have been scrolling freely thru your Instagram feed and you saw a fast food ad. Days later, you caught yourself craving for a delicious cheeseburger.

Hidden persuasions are the driving force behind advertising. And, these persuasions happen more often than you think!

On that note, here are 5 Sneaky Tricks Advertisers Use To Get Your Money:

ILLUSION OF SCARCITY

Why are people so attracted to items that are limited edition? For starters, scarcity is usually linked to luxurious products. Talk about the limited supply of Yeezys and diamonds!

Scarcity also suggests that people want a product so bad that its supply depleted. I can vividly recall the time I visited a blogshop and saw this long black dress. At the bottom it displayed: “only one piece left”. I really wanted to purchase this dress, but I was contemplating on whether I need another black dress or not. Buying mode kicked in when the fear of missing out (#FOMO) emerged. I wanted to secure the last item left! This goes to show that scarcity technique works so well because it entails that our freedom of choice can be gone is a snap!

POWER OF SOCIAL PROOF

Word of mouth spreads like wildfire! When you want to purchase new products or try new services, you approach others for recommendation. We go to recommended doctors for health advise and to highly-raved hairstylists for a new ‘do. You are more likely to subscribe to something that has gotten a stamp of approval from a person you admire. So much for individuality, huh?

Image Credits: pixabay.com

When my significant other and I go on a date, we usually check out food review websites such as burpple.com and hungrygowhere.com. We tend to eat at places with higher reviews. This illustrates the power of social proofing. According to social proofing, we are more likely to buy something that the majority approves. This is why modern advertisers turn to Facebook and Instagram to get as much “likes” as possible!

ART OF REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY

Let’s face it! There is a reason why some people hide from sales representatives who follow them around. Nobody likes to be told on what to do, especially when they are about to make a purchase. This is where the Art of Reverse Psychology comes in handy.

Advertisers understand that you do not like to be blatantly persuaded. Which is why they try to convince you that you have a choice in the matter. They may say something along the lines of “you are free to try Brand X but…”. Their transparency can hook you into buying the product.

INFLUENCE OF THE DECOY EFFECT

Have you ever experienced shopping around for appliances and seeing the usual price as well as the discounted prices? Well, the discounted price sure is attractive! It makes me wonder how long has the usual price been there? Is the discounted price really a steal?

Dan Ariely, an Ivy-league professor of Psychology and Behavioral economics, did a study on the different price options. As it turns out, a company may include an additional price option just to make you think that you are getting a good deal.

His study included three magazine subscriptions: an online subscription for $59, a print subscription for $125, and a print-and-online subscription for $125. When Ariely offered the three options to the participants, most of them picked the combo option as it seemed like the best deal. However, things changed when only the print or online options remained. Most of them sticked to the cheapest option – the $59 online subscription.

RICHNESS OF ANECDOTES

Customer testimonials are powerful not only because of social proofing, but also because of the richness of anecdotes. Research suggests that stories and individual examples stick to our brains better than statistics. This make sense as stories transport us to a place where we are most likely to believe in something.

Simply watch this heartwarming video by a Thai Insurance company:

If you are more likely to be persuaded by emotional advertisements or stories, you may want to stay vigilant for your budget’s sake!

Sources: 1 & 2

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How To Fool Yourself Into Saving Money

If money could talk, my wallet would be having a farewell party. I am not exaggerating! The weight of the Yuletide Season has been hard on my budget. You see, we are constantly bombarded with flashy sales and social gatherings.

The materialistic temptations becomes harder to resist due to the year-end bargains. Not to mention, the convenience of swiping a credit card makes spending easy!

Fortunately for you, there are other strategies that you can employ to save money. See how much you can potentially save with these four money tricks!

PUSH THE AUTOPILOT

How can you spend money that you do not see? This is no “vanishing coin act”! Instead, I am referring to automating your savings. Setting up an automatic transfer to your savings account can help you fulfill your financial goals. Whether you are looking forward to the night market or the BTS concert in Thailand, your expenses can be covered by your savings.

There is truth to the phrase: pay yourself first. Allotting a portion of your income to personal savings is as easy as allocating a budget for your phone bill. Upon getting into the habit of saving, you will be able to resist the temptation of spending. Ask your bank for guidance in automating your transactions.

EVERY CENT COUNTS

As I was walking to a dollar store, I saw an elderly man leaning towards the coin he just dropped. No matter how small a currency may seem, every cent counts. It is only logical to say that keeping your loose change in the course of the year can add up to a few hundreds of dollars! So, consider developing the habit of growing your cents.

Begin by getting an empty jar. You may turn it into an arts and crafts activity by having your child decorate the surface of your jar. Afterwards, empty the contents of your wallet every three days. Pour all the loose change into your decorated money jar. By December, you may exchange these coins for bills at your local bank. Growing your money jar will not only declutter your wallet, but also grow your wealth.

REMOVE THESE NUMBERS

Let us face it! Online shopping has been more prevalent than ever. The mere fact that you can get a blanket set from IKEA Singapore within three business days only shows how convenient it is to shop. The virtual market’s prompt gratification can breed addiction. Personally speaking, a friend of mine gets various packages sent on a weekly basis. It is crazy how each one comes from different parts of the world!

You open more rooms for financial vulnerability by setting up a customer account and saving your credit card information. So, consider deleting your online shopping accounts.

Adding an extra layer of difficulty while shopping gives you more time to weigh whether you really need to purchase an item or not. If you lack courage to delete the information on your own, you may ask the help of your trusted spouse. Who knows? This third party intervention may just be the solution to avoid impulse purchases.

A SINGLE QUESTION

As I was walking inside a fast-fashion store, I realized how random purchases can take a toll into my finances. Stocking up on adorable yet unnecessary items on Daiso can affect my budget for the next day. If only you can ask yourself a single question!

Do you believe that a single question can change your spending outlook? Well, it sure is possible! Who knew that a sequence of words can convince you to leave a shop without a cart full of non-essential items.

Simply ask yourself this: “Did I need it yesterday?” If you do not need it yesterday, you probably do not need to buy it today. By asking acknowledging whether an item is a need or want can help you stick to your budget.

Image Credits:pixabay.com

Saving money does not have to be a chore! May these easy tricks help you reach your savings faster than you would have thought.

Sources: 1 & 2 

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