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How to steer clear of financial infidelity against your partner

Money plays a vital role in all relationships. When it comes to finances, secret-keeping, impulsive spending, and poor money management habits often spell trouble for unsuspecting couples.

For those who aren’t exactly sure of what financial infidelity means, it simply refers to “cheating financially”. Here are a few necessary steps you and your partner can take to avoid financial infidelity in your relationship.

#1: Communicate openly and honestly

“Operate in complete transparency and communicate as frequently as possible,” advised Douglas Boneparth, a certified financial planner and president of Bone Fide Wealth in New York City.

While it’s not necessary to bring up finance topics on the first date, it’s important not to shy away from money conversations. This is especially so when your relationship starts moving towards a long-term commitment.

Sidestepping these sometimes-uncomfortable talks will have a snowball effect that can lead to expensive consequences.

Though it can be difficult initiating the first discussion surrounding finances, take heart that you’re working towards a healthier relationship. These conversations will eventually become routine.

#2: Be transparent about incomes

Image Credits: The Independent

Whether you have a stable salary or your income is dependent on commissions, bonuses, or unpredictable clients, share it upfront. You owe it to your significant other to be transparent about what you bring to the table or can offer in the future.

Being candid about pay will allow you and your partner to budget accordingly. This might mean cutting back on frivolous spending or forgoing impulsive purchases, but your relationship will benefit from financial security.

#3: Settle for joint or separate accounts

Make sure you and your partner are on the same page when it comes to your bank accounts. Are there plans to merge accounts or split your incomes down the middle? Be sure to make a point of discussing your plans and intentions with your significant other.

If you decide to keep everything separate (which is okay), it might be a good idea to keep one account joined for paying shared expenses. This way, you can be sure your budget is being put to good use, and both are paying their fair share.

#4: Play a part in financial responsibilities

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When both members take part in the household budgeting, the secrets and deception that lead to financial infidelity are less likely to happen.

For example, one of you can take care of the bill payments while the other keeps track of retirement savings. Just be certain that each of you is involved in the process and the loop of your financial status.

Splitting the responsibilities also help prevent placing all the burden on one party, who might feel like the “bad guy” if they have to say no to that staycation or lifestyle purchase in the future.

#5: Never hide your spendings

If one partner is a spendthrift and the other is a saver, it can lead to rifts in your relationship. Be honest with your partner about the desire for big purchases and discuss whether you can afford it.

Likewise, avoid expensive shopping trips without your significant other’s knowledge or agreement. While a little retail therapy may seem like harmless fun, the credit card bills can add up fast, and the deception will often drive a breakdown of trust in the relationship.

Final thoughts

Image Credits: Asia Wedding Network

According to a financial therapist in North Carolina, there are many reasons why financial infidelity happens. It could be due to a financial trauma in the past, a conflicted relationship with money, or insecurity.

Whatever the reason might be, be mindful that small things add up. A lie told today will lead to more lies and secrets going forward. Don’t let money issues be a deal-breaker in your relationship. It’s not worth the heartbreak.

How to manage money problems in a marriage?

Realistically speaking, financial issues are going to present itself at some point and time in a marriage. This is probably true even for the filthy rich. Dealing with them as a couple can either help you grow closer together or further apart.

But think of it as an opportunity to practice money management techniques to build a more robust and financially secure future.

With that said, do you find yourself yelling at each other when financial issues pop up? Are you looking for help?

Here are some ways to truly deal with money problems in a marriage.

#1: Know your partner’s credit score

Image Credits: NFCC.org

We have to put this upfront because a couple should lay this foundation ideally before marriage. But even for those who’ve recently tied the knot, it’s not too late. Let Steven Yoda, a partner with a divorce firm, tell you why.

Yoda mentioned that identifying your partner’s credit score can give you insight into their past financial decisions. Money is often a common source of stress in a marriage, so knowing your partner’s money-handling habits can go a long way.

But at this point, do you know what a credit score is?

According to the Credit Bureau Singapore, a credit score is “a number used by lenders as an indicator of how likely an individual is to repay his debts and the probability of going into default. It is an independent assessment of the individual’s risk as a credit applicant.”

Now that you’re aware of the definition, be mindful that your partner’s credit score will not affect your personal credit score. However, it can influence your credit access after marriage because the lender will consider both parties’ credit scores.

In short, a low credit score will lead to higher interest rates and fees on your credit card or loan. But if things happen to go astray…

#2: Don’t play the blame game

Image Credits: The Telegraph

Even if you feel as though your partner is spending way too much on Starbucks, don’t play the blame game. That’s because there’s no end to it. Both should acknowledge the lack of finances to cover individual or family expenses as the root of the problem.

Just like any other bumps in your marriage, you should approach it as a team. Face the jarring issues together as a unit rather than dissolving into a blame game on who’s spending too much.

#3: Take the lead to communicate

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When you or your partner spots a potentially money-focused storm on the horizon, schedule a time to sit down and talk. This could range from anything from reduced work hours to the desire of changing jobs.

“To minimise and prevent those issues from becoming bigger problems in your relationship it is important to start with the simple act of having conversations about money,” highlighted Maggie Reyes, a marriage mentor and life coach.

The sooner you prepare yourself for financial issues, the more well-rounded your solution is likely to be too. Panic and stress are never good companions for handling money issues, and to counter it; you want to have a plan in place before it starts spiralling downwards.

#4: Get on the same page

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“Most financial issues in marriage come down to one main factor: both partners have different core values about money,” a certified counsellor explained.

First thing’s first, you need to make sure that you and your partner are on the same page about money and its value. Most of us have different understandings of the importance of money, and it takes some effort to understand where the other party is coming from as two halves of a whole.

For instance, you might be okay dealing with a little debt, but your partner may not be comfortable at the idea of it. So, if they start to see the build-up, it can be their source of severe distress.

When both partners aren’t careful in dealing with the disparity in money perspectives, this issue may burst into other areas of the relationship. Whatever those differences in values may be, it’s essential to put one into another’s shoes and find a compromise.

#5: Stop the problem from travelling

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With consistent money problems, it’s easy to resent the other person and their spending habits. Perhaps you fear that they are hiding money from you and siphoning it into a secret account. Or, maybe they’ve got a personal credit card and are overspending without keeping you in the loop.

You know what? Stop your paranoia in its tracks! The moment financial problems turn into trust issues; it will impact your marriage. Have faith in your partner if you want them to return the favour.

Final thoughts

Money, and lack of it, can make even the strongest couples weaken and crack from stress. If you approach finances with a level head and as a strong, loving duo, you can overcome those issues in time to come.

Nothing is too difficult to solve. Take heart!

Singapore’s first luxury confinement centre has opened with packages from S$12,000

The birth experience is beautiful and miraculous for many mothers, their babies, and families. However, it is also a profoundly exhausting and even medically traumatising journey.

After giving birth, many mothers need extended rest, recovery, and healing to recuperate from the delivery and begin to adjust to a new life together with their newborns.

This is where confinement centres come in handy because they can create a holistic and full-service experience for both the mother and baby.

Have you heard of KAI Singapore? KAI Singapore is Singapore’s first luxury confinement centre that’s specifically designed to heal and help a new family in every way possible.

Kevin Kwee, executive director of Laguna National Golf and Country Club, is the co-founder of KAI Singapore. He shared that it is common for new mums in Taiwan, South Korea, and China to recuperate in residential confinement centres in an interview.

“After 18 months of market research, and finding many such places more clinical than comfortable, I thought I’d improve on the concept by co-founding KAI Singapore. Singapore’s ready for it; I already have local and foreign friends asking to reserve spots,” he added.

The Kai Experience

The centre provides a bespoke embrace to the concept of Japanese hospitality, also known as omotenashi. Kai symbolises restoration and recovery, the two most important factors for a new mother’s health and wellness.

They have a full spectrum of maternity care for families, from prenatal and nutrition advice to postnatal food, and body rejuvenation. The complete guidance is all done in an indulgent environment that rehabilitates every member of the family.

Location

At KAI Singapore, every mother and child receives their suite in a hotel-like facility, one that’s both private and inviting while still being centrally located to town.

Have we not mentioned that they are located at 26 Dunearn Road? You will find yourself a less than 10-minute drive to Orchard from the confinement centre.

Not to mention the list of hospitals within a 3km radius:

1.8km from Thomson Medical (3-minute drive)
2km from Novena Mount Elizabeth Hospital (4-minute drive)
2km from Orchard Mount Elizabeth Hospital (6-minute drive)
4.1km Mount Alvernia Hospital (7-minute drive)
2.8km from Gleneagles Hospital (8-minute drive)

Facilities & Services

Private mothers’ lounge

Mothers will be thrilled to know that there’s a private mothers’ lounge that allows mothers to rest and socialise while their babies are asleep in a nursery offering camera surveillance. Stay connected to your child at all times by viewing them through a mobile app.

Integrated wellness haven

KAI Singapore is the first in Singapore to take the confinement experience and add luxury and elegance to it. You get to access a spa, salon, and aesthetics clinic during your stay!

Take advantage of the complimentary daily warm herbal baths and weekly breast massages to promote postnatal healing.

Their Kai Spa also has a range of facial treatments and therapy sessions for you to be pampered:

Age repair facial or essential rose facial
Prenatal massage using both Malay and Swedish techniques
Breast lactation massage to remove soreness and boost milk production
Head & shoulder massage which uses essential oils to soothe the tension away
Jamu massage & bengkung wrap to restore the abdomen to its original state

There’s also a relaxation lounge for mummies to get their pretty manicures and pedicures done!

24-hour professional care

As valued guests of KAI Singapore, you will be taken care of by a 24-hour expert care team. These are highly trained and supervised medical staff so you will be assured the best attention. There is also in-room dining, housekeeping, security, and concierge services.

Nourishing foods crafted by chefs & nutritionists

Your daily meals are catered by a state of the art kitchen that uses fresh, local ingredients and traditional cooking. The menu tailors to the individual recovery needs and requirements of the mother.

Using Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) principles of 一休二排三调四健养 (the process of healing, detoxification, restoration and nourishment), you can expect pure, natural, and wholesome foods with no added MSG or artificial additives.

Kai Cuisine is also all about using the best, natural herbs such as black dates, and sulphur-free ‘dang gui’ or angelica root. They even make their sauces, seasonings, and condiments from scratch in controlled batches in-house.

Every top-notch service is designed with Asian cultural values and heritage in mind, treating childbirth as a richly time-honoured tradition that provides rest and critical bonding time between mother and baby.

Package Prices

The standard package at KAI Singapore begins at S$12,000.

It comes with an extensive three-month prenatal program that teaches valuable mothering skills and wellness techniques, a seven-day stay after the baby is born, and a three-month postpartum program that helps mothers adjust to life with their new baby.

Guests can alter their stay-in periods and use the KAI Singapore’ intensive recuperation program for as long as their budget allows.

Final Thoughts

KAI Singapore is an innovation in luxury maternity management that provides top-tier services that address both mother and baby care components. There’s no better place to do it than at KAI Singapore for mothers who are preparing to welcome their new infant.

For more information, please head to kaisuites.com.sg.

Financial Responsibilities Of Newly Married Couples

Managing your finances together is one of the most important roles you partake on in a marriage.

Differing views and attitudes towards money can pose issues to a relationship. For instance, you may seem frugal to others and stingy to her. If you both live beyond your means and spend lavishly on each other, you might find yourselves trapped in debt. There is time to change. Planning ahead as a team can help you build a strong foundation for your marriage.

1. GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER

Get to know each other’s financial beliefs and spending habits. Understand where your partner is coming from and adapt if necessary. If your partner is a spender, agree on establishing some limits. If your partner is prudent, agree on the things you would like to prioritize. Make your expectations clear to arrive on the same page.

“The handling of finances is one of the major emotional battlegrounds of any marriage. Lack of finances is seldom the issue. The root of the problem seems to be an unrealistic and immature view of money.” – David Augsburger, The Meaning of Money in Marriage

2. DELEGATING FINANCIAL DUTIES

Assess the differences in your income and money management strengths to determine how to divide the financial duties. Delegate the person who is financially savvier to take the role of managing your family’s investment options. While, the person who is better at budgeting can take charge of managing the household bills. Take advantage of each other’s strengths and fill the gaps in between.

3. PROVIDING SOLELY FOR YOUR FAMILY

For families with a sole breadwinner, it is practical to maintain an adequate emergency fund to withstand unexpected financial woes. Please consider the number of dependents when finalizing the amount of money to be set aside.

Single income couples should consider helping each other in terms of their CPF responsibilities. You can top up your spouse’s CPF account, especially if he or she has low CPF balances. You can transfer your CPF Ordinary Account savings after setting aside the Basic Retirement Sum in your own CPF account.

4. SHARING BANK ACCOUNTS

There is no one size fits all! Your household arrangement depends on your marital assets, income levels, and financial commitments. Think about which expenses you want to keep separate and which you want to share. You open a joint account for their household bills. Set aside a specific amount monthly to grow your joint account together. Meanwhile, you can keep your own individual accounts to fund your own spending.

5. AVOIDING FINANCIAL INFIDELITY

Financial infidelity refers to hiding financial information behind your partner’s back. Failing to mention a significant expenditure to your spouse may cause problems in the long run. Top money lies include under-declaring one’s income or hiding one’s debts. Such dishonesty can diminish the level of trust between a couple.

6. WORKING ON SAME FINANCIAL GOALS

Find a way to work on shared financial goals. Agree on the amount of personal contributions depending on your income. Some of the common themes that most financial goals share are having a budget, living frugally, getting out of debt, and having a good credit score. Do not forget to save for your emergency fund and retirement plans.

Image credits: pixabay.com

You are in this (wild ride) together!

Sources: 1 & 2

Stuck At Home Valentine’s Day Ideas

Romance does not have to fade just because you are at home. Considering the impact of the pandemic and the need to practice social distancing, you have probably struggled to keep your indoor dates exciting. Fret not! There are a myriad of creative date activities that you can enjoy right in the comfort of your own home.

Spend Valentine’s Day with your special someone with these fun ideas.

#1: DO YOGA TOGETHER

Stretch the night away by practicing couples yoga with your partner. Now is the time find your inner Zen. Poses suitable for couples are more intimate and challenging. It is a shared experience focused more on the connection with one another, rather than just yourself.

#2: MAKE DELICIOUS PIZZA

Add spice to your Netflix and chill by making your own pizza. Try different recipes such as baguette pizza and Marinara pizza.

#3: TEST YOUR SINGING ABILITIES

Do you have a favorite love song? Challenge your partner to a melodious night of karaoke. Sing your hearts out by searching karaoke videos on YouTube. Singing some of your favorite tunes is guaranteed to boost your spirit.

#4: TRY A VIRTUAL MUSEUM TOUR

Whether you are a fan of Vincent van Gogh or cultural art, you can find a virtual museum tour for both of your interests. I recommend watching the National Museum of Singapore’s Zoom Into History Video series. It is an insightful look at the artifacts and everyday objects that have defined our nation’s past. You can also watch the virtual tours streamed on the National Gallery of Singapore’s Facebook Live.

#5: CREATE FUN COCKTAILS

Show off your bartending skills in the comfort of your own space by making a cocktail together with your loved one. Make the Love Potion #9. It is made with gin, lemon juice, simple syrup, and pomegranate juice. Enjoy!

#6: START A BOOK CLUB

Encourage your friends to join your book club. Bring your partner along too. Choose a book to read together with the group and then pick an evening to discuss it over wine and cheese on Zoom or Skype.

#7: HAVE A PHOTOSHOOT

Spare a few hours for an at-home photoshoot. Ensure that your pictures have backdrops and decorations that fit your theme. You can have these photos printed and gathered into an album.

#8: SET THEMATIC NIGHTS

Whether you want to indulge on a game or movie night, you can set February 14 as your “best day ever”. You can forgo dinner by turning the lights out and preparing snacks that can boost your movie night experience. If you cannot agree on a movie you both want to watch, consider the first movie you ever watched together. Alternatively, you can play video games. Your partner can either be impressed by your mad skills on screen or will think it is adorable to see you consistently losing.

#9: INDULGE IN A SPA DATE

Drop in your nearest Lush outlet or create your own DIY bath bombs to enjoy a spa date. Have a bath together with bath salts and bath bombs. Afterwards, you can give each other massages with aromatherapy oils. Lastly, you can give your partner a manicure or a pedicure. Complete the experience with matching robes!

Image credits: pixabay.com

Sources: 1 & 2