Things to contemplate when your parents ask you for money

dad and son talking

As your parents grow older, they may require extra money. Medical bills, unexpected repairs, or lifestyle needs may drive them to ask you for financial help.

It could also be due to the instability in financial markets affecting their retirement funds. Or they may be concurrently facing many of these problems. As their beloved child, you want to help – but the question is – is it a good idea to give them money?

Here are some things to contemplate before you decide if you should or should not.

#1: Their reasons for needing more money
an old woman staring in the blank

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When you’re considering giving your parents money, it is essential to understand why they need the money. Understanding the reasons will help you determine the best way to assist them. 

Maybe it could be a loss of income or savings? Or it could be a hike in sudden expenses related to home/car repairs or medical spendings that exceed your parents’ financial means. These situations are relatively straightforward, and it would be appropriate for you to extend a hand.

On the other hand, if they need money because of bad financial choices – gambling or alcoholism – you should rethink the situation. In such circumstances, financial assistance might be enabling your parents, not supporting them.

So what’s the difference?

#2: Contrast between supporting and enabling
a woman holding an elderly's hand

Image Credits: SIM GE

There’s a subtle difference between ​supporting and enabling​ your parents. Supporting someone is providing them access to a need they are not able to meet. While enabling someone is when you are doing something for them that they should be doing on their own (or should not indulge in at all). 

Giving money to your parents to help them pay bills, maintain their home, or go through a minor surgery are examples of supporting them. But if your mum or dad bust the month’s budget on Toto and beer, lending them money may reinforce their negative behaviours and be harmful in the long run.

#3: Is it within your means?
budget-calculation

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Once you have understood the nature of their problem and decided to help, you must evaluate if it’s within your means. Consider these questions now:

  • What are your financial resources?
  • Do you have surplus income or cash at hand?
  • Do you have liquid assets available, or can you sell surplus possessions or investments?
  • Can your brothers and sisters help, and if so, to what degree?

No matter the need, you should not overextend your finances or jeopardise your financial future. Putting yourself deep into debt to support your parents, or putting off a significant life event such as buying a home or having a child, is unwise.

Straining yourself by giving more than you can afford can lead to feelings of bitterness and resentment. Trust us; this will become ​a major source of stress in your life​ as you age and face your own set of money problems later.

#4: Have you talked with your partner?
a couple having a serious conversation

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If you are married or in a long-term committed relationship, you must include your partner in your financial decision-making.

It is likely that your spouse doesn’t feel comfortable or render the situation feasible to give your parents money. That’s why having a dialogue is a basic form of respect for each other.

Should your partner be welcoming of the idea, you should establish in clear terms how much money you are giving or lending your parents and what the agreements are. You should also evaluate the likely needs of your partner’s family needing financial aid soon.

Factoring all the above can aid you in making better money calculations.

#5: Do you have a set of terms?
writing something on a notebook

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Before writing your parents a cheque or handing them a stack of cash, you must put forth a definite set of terms. Here are some questions to guide you:

  • Is this sum a gift or a loan?
  • Have you agreed to a one-time loan, or is it an ongoing disbursement?
  • Where will this money be immediately spent?
  • Will they repay you – and if so, when and how?

Having a detailed conversation with your parents is essential. If your parents are okay with it, ask them to put the agreement in writing. This could minimise potential conflicts and finger-pointing as time goes by.

Find other ways to help

Those who do not have the financial means to assist their parents should not worry too much. There may be other ways to offer a hand.

For example, you can hands-on the minor home or automotive repairs or get them their weekly groceries. You can also work with them to find less expensive solutions to the problems that led them to need money in the first place. Or maybe you can offer some advice on planning a budget.

The help your parents need may not always be in the form of cold hard cash. Take some time to contemplate the points mentioned in this article to determine whether it is good to give your parents money. We hope you will settle on a suitable approach to the issue soon!

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5 ways to lift pressure off your nervous system

a lady soaking in a bathtub

Amid the prolonged pandemic, it feels like stress is building up more quickly than ever. Between school, work, family, and current events, nothing seems to be letting up.

While the psychological effects of constant stress and anxiety can be crippling, the truth is that physiologically, our nervous system takes a big hit every time our stress mounts.

What is the nervous system?

The nervous system is a core part of our body that helps us function daily. Cleveland Clinic defines it as our body’s command centre.

It explains: “Originating from your brain, it controls your movements, thoughts and automatic responses to the world around you. It also controls other body systems and processes, such as digestion, breathing and sexual development (puberty).”

Hence, when it’s not in good shape, every part of us suffers. The best way to ease up on that stress is to try and give your nervous system a break actively. However, it’s something that might seem easier said than done.

Thankfully, there are some scientific methods you can rely on to help you stay calm and lift pressure off your nervous system! Read on.

#1: Apply pressure
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Didn’t we just mention that we will introduce some methods to help you lift the pressure off your nervous system? Yes, don’t get us wrong when we say to apply pressure. Hear us out.

The nervous system is a bundle of nerves that spread throughout our entire body and are responsible for our sensation and perception of pain, temperature, and many other experiences. 

When our nervous system is in overdrive, one of the easiest ways to immediately calm it down is to apply pressure to many nerves at once to smoothen out the sensory overload.

According to Healthline, pressure gives the brain proprioceptive input, leading to a calming effect on our nervous system. To achieve the outcome, you can purchase compression items of clothing, a weighted blanket, or even request a tight hug from a loved one!

The abovementioned methods can help soothe your nerves and drown out excess sensation.

#2: Get moving
a man stretching before a run

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We’re not contradicting ourselves when we say to get moving. That’s because physical activity is another proven reliever of nervous system overload.

Whether it’s the act of shaking off or even just a simple exercise, physical activity releases positive hormones that can help our nervous systems process surplus energy and generally achieve a more harmonious balance. 

Based on a Harvard Medical School article, regular aerobic exercise can provide stimulation and calmness and even counter depression and dissipate stress. Cardio is an excellent way to achieve stress relief quickly, but something as simple as a stretching routine can also facilitate.

#3: Take a warm bath
a white bathtub with a towel

Image Credits: pixabay.com

Do you know that heat has been a natural pain reliever for many people starting from the ancient days?

Contact with heat, whether through a sauna, a heating pad, or even just general sunlight, can help reduce pain, cramping, inflammation, and even induce endorphins, the chemicals that support happiness and relaxed feelings.

“Your skin releases endorphins in response to the soothing warm water the same way that endorphins are released when you feel the sun on your skin,” says Dr Bobby Buka, a dermatologist based in New York.

A hot bath is a great way to put your oversensitive self on rest mode until you feel rejuvenated enough to return to the busyness of life.

#4: Concentrate on your breathing
an asian woman meditating on a yoga mat

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Breathing is one of the easiest ways to calm down your nervous system immediately. Are you aware that your natural breathing rhythm frequently changes throughout the day?

If you’ve noticed you’re suddenly anxious, stressed, or out of breath, you’re likely experiencing a quicker breathing rate as well. The right way is to pause and start taking deep, cyclical breaths that draw on your entire lung capacity.

This should help reset your natural breathing rhythm and return to a sense of overall equilibrium. Even if you’re not facing any immediate source of stress, it’s still wise to practise daily breathing exercises to improve lung health.

#5: Decrease caffeine intake
a machine dispensing coffee

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Though coffee can help boost your metabolism and help you digest faster, it fires up your brain’s receptors and makes everything shift into hyperdrive. When it comes to lifting pressure off your nervous system, that is a clear no-no.

The more caffeine you drink, the more strain you put on your nervous system. Give your nervous system a break by easing up on caffeine! You will notice how much easier it is for you to rest afterwards.

And of course, other than a better sleep, going caffeine-free has its own set of benefits. This includes having a better absorption level for micronutrients, lowering the risk of heartburn, and may even help keep wrinkles at bay!

Final thoughts

Our nervous system is working hard every single moment to make sure we function right. Isn’t it fair that we give it some tender loving care too?

If you want your entire system to take you through the rest of your life on earth without any significant problems, heed some of the above tips to lift the pressure off it.

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Why Rewarding Yourself Is Important

John Maxwell once said: “Everybody wants money, yet seldom will anyone budget or control their spending.”

Setting financial goals is an easy task! Reaching these goals is another story. You may intend to purchase your first designer bag or to go back to school this year, but you are still building your funds for it. Moreover, you may have set some financial goals that are harder than you anticipated. Putting these goals into action is the first hurdle that you have to pass.

The second hurdle is reaching the finish line without losing your motivation. The solution to your problem is placing an efficient reward system. Rewards and actions have close association. Think about it! You perform an action expecting an outcome or a reward in the end. Though rewards do now always show up as a trophy, you can expect some form of return. Every time you receive a reward, your body releases a neurotransmitter called the dopamine. It plays important roles in executive functions, motor control, motivation, arousal, reinforcement, and reward. It also plays a role in lower-level functions including lactation, sexual gratification, and nausea. Simply put, it affects how we feel pleasure.

Dopamine spikes in your brain when something important is about to happen. It gives you a surge of pleasure as you finish a task. In turn, it increases your motivation and productivity. Use this knowledge to your advantage. Give yourself small rewards along the way to achieve a bigger goal. You may indulge at the end of the month by rewarding yourself with 5% of your hard-earned savings. Use this money to get a well-deserved treat after the whole month’s work. It will surely keep you going!

As long as you set aside a responsible amount of money, take your mind off the expenses that come with your small reward. Relax! Take these suggestions:

1. Take yourself out to breakfast or brunch.
2. Read a book for 15–30 minutes.
3. Watch an episode of your favorite Netflix series.
4. Listen to your favorite playlist for 15 minutes.
5. Buy a delicious dessert.
6. Enjoy an at-home spa day.
7. Paint, sew, or knit something.
8. Turn off your devices for an hour.
9. Indulge in a long shower.
10. Diffuse your favorite essential oils.
11. Write in your journal.
12. Watch the sunset.
13. Jog for 15-30 minutes.
14. Get a new water bottle.
15. Get a manicure or a pedicure.

Every action is tied to some outcome. The problem is, the result is not always immediate. You will not lose weight overnight. You will lose body fat over time. While waiting, you may lose the motivation to keep going. Hence, putting a simple reward system may help.

Rewards can act as psychological enforcers when you use it as a means of motivation to reach a particular goal. When done right, the natural process in the brain can be used to help you stay on track with your financial goals. The magnitude of the reward is not directly proportional to motivation. Even the smallest treats can get you pumped up for the rest of the month. Use the abovementioned list as a guide to help you put your reward system in place.

Sources: 1 & 2

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Tips on overcoming analysis paralysis in investments

investment risks

Many people face analysis paralysis when making decisions. Do you know what the term means?

According to Healthline, analysis paralysis is a type of overthinking which results in a neverending loop of “what if this, what if that” scenarios.

Vicki Botnick, a therapist from California, shares that our decision-making process usually involves a list of options. As we progress, we begin narrowing this list down, removing choices that are unfeasible. But a person with analysis paralysis will often find themselves trapped.

“They feel ever-expanding, endless, and all equally probable,” she adds.

What is analysis paralysis in investments?
a stressed man in front of a laptop

Image Credits: esquireme.com

Putting things into perspective in the financial realm, analysis paralysis makes perfect sense too. In this case, it refers to a situation where you overanalyse investments so much that your ultimate decision becomes paralysed. You end up freezing and are not able to make a move.

Sounds familiar? Do you find yourself not acting on the plan you have made after all those time spent in planning? If you are stuck on making a decision, then it is about time you stop being in a state of analysis paralysis.

Investing is not that difficult if you’ve done your due research. The only thing you probably need right now is the courage to jump in and start! While it’s not guaranteed that you will make money or succeed, take heart if you have a promising investment strategy.

For those who are still sitting on the fence and waiting for the right moment to take the first step, this article will help you. It’s time to hold back no more and get your head in the game.

#1: Don’t be a perfectionist

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Those undergoing analysis paralysis often end up waiting for the perfect scenario. You need to know that such occasions don’t come by often, and you will only end up wasting time and effort.

For example, some investors were sitting on the fence of Netflix Inc (NASDAQ: NFLX). Yes, while it’s true that they have burnt billions to build the business, with many questioning their business model, 2021 might be their year to becoming self-sustainable.

If you’d trusted your guts with Netflix against what other investors thought, then maybe you wouldn’t have to deal with their recent share price spike of over 10%. Be a perfectionist in investing, and we assure you there will be a slow success.

#2: Narrow down on what matters
priorities

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Many time, overthinking happens when you don’t have an idea of what to focus on. That is why we’re suggesting that you narrow down on what matters. In other words, prioritise the main objectives regarding your investment strategy.

Let’s say you’re considering between these three:

  • ETFs that track benchmarks
  • Growth technology companies
  • Value consumer discretionary companies

Rather than going with all at one go, it would be wise to start investing with just one or two to get your engine moving.

This perfectly leads us to the next point.

#3: Scale as you go

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Whenever you are thinking about investing, try to start with a small amount. Don’t get fooled by “experts” who advise you to go big or go home.

So, what is the right amount to start with? We think a few hundred dollars is an ideal sum if you’re new to the venture. Once you’re comfortable dealing with the market fluctuations, you can gradually increase the stakes with higher-risk investments.

Starting small is a direction that works not just in investments but life in general too. This is especially true if you’re entering as a greenhorn.

#4: Cut out neighbouring negativity
two-business-people-having-serious-discussion-in-the-office

Image Credits: The Balance Careers

It also pays to not dwell too much into the negative news about losing your money.

The main point here is that if you have a sound strategy, then all is well. You don’t need to listen to friends or neighbours who are discouraging your idea of investing money in the stock market.

While other people’s pitfalls are good to know, shut it out if you know it will only hold you back. Ultimately, it’s your money you’re playing with, and you possess the key to unlocking the door of investments.

#5: Welcome a little impulsivity

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Don’t get us wrong when we say to welcome a little impulsivity. We assume that you’ve spent a considerable amount of time crafting a solid investment strategy. If so, then maybe what you need is that little nudge of impulsivity to get started.

Research done by automated investment firm Stashaway revealed that impulsive investors who withdrew their money during a market correction lost about 2.2% on average. That’s why we want to reiterate that hasty investments will do you no good in a general sense.

Please don’t take this piece of advice out of context.

Final thoughts

The stock market will not stop for you. As Professor Karyl Leggio of Loyola University Maryland rightly points out, “The reality is you aren’t able to time the market. Over time, you miss more opportunities than you save by trying to time the market.”

Continue letting analysis paralysis grab hold of you, and you will be missing out on several golden investment chances. Recognise that you don’t have to be a perfectionist to begin. Focus on what matters, start small, and don’t get buried in negativity.

Take that little spontaneous step forward, and good luck!

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How to stay focused on your financial goals

green plant in a pot of coins

We’re down to the final week of February. Do you already find yourself struggling to put away some money for the upcoming months ahead?

You’re not alone. It’s harder than most people think to stay focused on their financial goals, and we’re here to lend a hand in finding your way forward.

Stay on this page if you want to find out more on ways to stay focused on your financial goals amidst the prolonged pandemic.

Factor in your dreams for the future

Do you know that many people don’t plan for the future because they don’t take enough time to dream about their financial goals and what they can hold?

Pondering over what you want to achieve this year and beyond can help you stay on track to reach it. For instance, are you looking to buy a house? Or are you looking to pay off your loans in two years?

Figuring out what you want to achieve will assist you in crafting a game plan to get there.

Be realistic and take concrete steps
planning a budget

Image Credits: TLNT

Some of us come up with lofty dreams when planning for the future. Perhaps you’re trying to achieve your goals too quickly without considering the finances you have available. Or it could be that the dreams themselves aren’t that reachable based on your current financial status.

If your dreams aren’t attainable, you will find yourself sidetracking on your financial goals down the road. So, plan your next steps based on your available budget and be practical about what you can or cannot do.

For example, if you have plans to buy your first home in the future, these are some real questions to ask:

  • How much do I need to save?
  • How to set aside this big sum?
  • Do I need to create an emergency fund?
  • How to grow my pot of savings?
  • Should I maximise my CPF?
  • Can I maintain a healthy credit score?

Take concrete steps (no matter how small) if you want to stay focused on achieving your financial targets.

Tweak your plans if necessary

If there is anything that the COVID-19 situation has taught us, it’s that life throws us lemons sometimes unexpectedly. Always be ready to rethink your financial goals should more lemons be thrown your way.

Maybe you’re expecting an unplanned baby, which means there will be changes in money priorities in the years to come. You don’t have a lot of time to make adjustments because once the baby arrives after 40 weeks, there will be significant changes to your lifestyle.

With that said, your immediate focus should then be on how to survive the first year financially. Take it one step at a time, and you will eventually get there.

Keep your eye on the finishing line
finishing line

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You’ve designed your financial future for a reason. When you forget what that reason is, it’s easy to get distracted and go off course. To stay focused on your financial goals, make sure you keep an eye on the finishing line. That’s what you’re working towards.

Several banks in Singapore like OCBC and DBS allow you to save a sum automatically each month. This automated savings will be a great tool to help you gather your money for that big purchase in the future.

Final thoughts

Your financial goals matter, and to keep that at the forefront of your mind, you will want to consider the tips mentioned in this article. Read this if you require more motivation to reach your saving targets!

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