Your heart is racing. You wanted to say something during an important meeting at work. As you open your mouth, an inner critic stumbles you with doubts. “What if you are wrong?”, says the voice inside you. You saved yourself from embarrassment by keeping your mouth shut. You felt that you were not good enough.
Moreover, you want to ask your longtime partner to take the next step. Something inside you keeps you from taking action. You doubt that she will agree. When doubts brew, you tend to fear the outcome and undermine your abilities. Self-doubt will stop you from reaching your goals. Identifying these false beliefs is the first step to eliminating them.
Believing in yourself is essential in reaching your dreams. On that note, here are some things that you can do when you feel that you are not good enough.
#1: QUIT COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS
My uncle usually stresses how comparison is the thief of all joy. We get so caught up in comparing our lives with everyone else’s highlight moments. This is the reason why we struggle with insecurities. It is important to know that the people you compare yourself to compare themselves to other people too. These people may seem to have it all but, they do not!
They are beautifully imperfect human beings going through the same challenges as you. Instead of comparing yourself to others, you must try to connect with others. Connecting with others can be as simple as greeting your neighbors. Be kind without being submissive. You do not have to agree with others all the time. Everyone has a right to their own perspective and opinion.
#2: KNOW THAT YOUR MIND CAN BE VERY CONVINCING
Do not believe everything you think. There are times when your brain may trick you into thinking that you are less capable of what you can accomplish. Notice your thoughts. It is unhealthy to give so much power to the negative ones. Instead, you must train your inner critic to shift into a coach that challenges you to be better.
Encourage yourself to transform the negative thoughts into positive thoughts. If you do not deem yourself to be worthy, you will deprive yourself of many opportunities.
#3: BELIEVE THAT THERE IS MORE RIGHT WITH YOU THAN WRONG
Jon Kabat-Zinn once said: “Until you stop breathing, there’s more right with you than wrong with you.” You are a testament of how beautiful life can be. There are lots of things in your life that most people pray for.
Identify the internal and external qualities that you like about yourself. This will help you put things into perspective. For starters, you are alive and are able to create new paths whenever you choose to.
#4: NOTICE THE POWER OF YOUR SCARS
Your past experiences shape who you are today. Moreover, your scar is a symbol of your strength. It is a reminder of whatever hurt you has now healed. Be proud of the scars that life has left you with. You conquered the pain and grew stronger on the other side.
Accept what you have gone through and appreciate the lessons you have learned along the way. If you have an opportunity to talk about your scars or to share your wisdom to others, do so.
#5: EMBRACE FAILURES AND MISTAKES
Failures are necessary in life. The mistakes during your first year at work help you become more successful during your second year. Failure helps us to be more compassionate, empathic, and kind to others. Without failure, we would not grow. It is through our failures that we learn the greatest lessons that life has to offer. These struggles help us to appreciate our successes.
“Just because you fail once, doesn’t mean you’re gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don’t, then who will, sweetie?” -Marilyn Monroe
#6: MAKE PEACE WITH THE NOW AND ACCEPT YOUR PAST
If you do not accept your past and make peace with the present, you will not be able to enjoy your future. As you make changes in your life and reach for the next step in the professional or personal ladder, you must acknowledge the importance of being appreciative with where you are now.
Life is a journey. It is up to you to walk towards something you feel rewarding and satisfying. Know that you are good enough!