In this day and age, more people are increasingly aware that abuse doesn’t just come in the physical form. It also comes in the form of emotions like shame, control, and criticisms. Jean Chen XM, a psychotherapist at Relationship Matters, shares with us a checklist of signs to guide you in identifying an emotionally abusive partner.
#1: Talks down to you
Using a harsh or authoritative tone, an emotionally abusive partner may treat you like a child instead of a partner.
#2: Socially isolates you
Such people also make it difficult for you to keep in touch with your loved ones such as family members and friends.
#3: Good with embarrassing you in front of others
They criticize you in front of other people or reprimand you loudly in a deliberate attempt for others to hear. Such partners may also intentionally drop something on the floor for you to pick it up.
#4: Their way is the highway
An emotionally abusive partner does not consider your feelings most of the time. They often give a reason as to why they’re right and you’re wrong. Surprisingly, you may fall for their ‘logical’ explanation.
#5: Gives you the cold shoulder
If you find your partner giving you the cold shoulder more often than not, this could be a warning sign. This form of emotional disengagement results in emotional hurt and isolation which isn’t healthy for a long-term relationship.
#6: Being blamed for the wrong things that happen
They are capable of blaming you when things go wrong. Over time, you may not feel comfortable sharing your fears and needs. You are also not given the right to be angry and continuously labelled by them as selfish, demanding, paranoid, or unreasonable.
#7: Excludes you in a social setting
They have the ability to make you feel unaccepted in a group setting. Instead of sharing your positive attributes, they focus on the negatives and paint you in a bad light in front of their friends. Thus, making them seem like the only good person in the relationship.
#8: The common use of hurtful words
Words have meaning and can be impactful. If your partner is constantly using hurtful words like ‘stupid’ and ‘useless’, this could be a sign of emotional abuse. Adding on to that, they often make you feel unimportant with their sarcastic comments. Emotional abusers often disguise an insult as a joke to leave you feeling small.
If you suspect yourself going through emotional abuse and in the search for free and affordable mental help in Singapore, please click through the link to see the list of avenues you can tap on.
Talk to someone professional and stay strong! There’s always light at the end of the tunnel.