Marriage & Family

The Real Cost of Infidelity

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Infidelity is defined as the act of having a romantic, emotional, or sexual relationship with someone other than one’s wife, husband, or partner. Extramarital affairs are complex! Its relationship dynamics, emotional investments, logistics, and explosive fallout are far from simple. More importantly, it is expensive!

According to Dr. Ramani Durvasala, a Los Angeles-based clinical psychologist: “Some people get an additional cell phone; a whole additional cell phone plan or a burner [phone] or something like that; they may travel; they may get hotel rooms; they may purchase gifts for this new person.”

The costs of maintaining two relationships add up. In fact, a study showed that expenses associated with an extramarital affair are typical and can cost nearly US$450 (S$601) per month. New flames can intoxicate your brain and push you to spend more. People spend money on event tickets, meals out, bar tabs, air fares, and hotel rooms. Covering one’s tracks can be expensive too. Some people are willing to pay more to ensure secrecy.

People have hired assistants whose sole responsibility was to manage the logistics of the affair or lawyers to draft the NDAs. “They get somebody, and they pay them double to shut them up, and they make that person sign an NDA,” said Dr. Ramina.

Paying an extra S$50 to S$100 a week on dating when you do not have that money can burn you quickly. Not to mention, the effects of infidelity can open a door to larger costs such as marriage counselling and divorce proceedings. Did you know that a 60-minute marriage counselling session can cost you around S$100 or more?

Apart from these costs, you must keep in mind the following elements.


The Court can order payment of child maintenance in the form of a monthly allowance or a lump sum. In Singapore, children are entitled to child maintenance from their biological parents until the age of 21. However, this order may be extended for certain circumstances such as undergoing national service.


If you have been infected with STD due to your spouse’s infidelity, you are entitled to sue. You might be able to receive financial compensation on the grounds of “marital tort” (i.e., misconduct) providing medical evidence such as a doctor’s testimony. Moreover, if you were infected with HIV due to your spouse’s affairs, your partner can be found guilty of an offense.


The most obvious price of infidelity is loss of trust. Trust is not won back easily. The damage created by unfaithfulness can leave a lasting emotional wound. The slightest word or thought can trigger a person’s distrust from others. Both parties suffer an inability to share their lives with others without fear of betrayal. Marriage counselling can help mediate the situation.


Following an act of unfaithfulness, a couple can move forward when forgiveness is present. Forgiveness is complicated, especially when you are breaking a vow. Forgetfulness will likely never occur, which makes forgiveness much harder. Healing takes time and effort.

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Whether infidelity has taken place in the form of physical or emotional affair, the price is high.

Sources: 1,2,3,4, & 5

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