How to reconcile cultural differences in international marriages

a couple's wedding rings

You will be tying the knot with the love of your life, and you’re looking forward to a lifetime of happiness together.

But what happens when your cultural values come into conflict? In an international marriage, cultural differences can often lead to misunderstandings. If you’re not prepared for it, it can quickly tear a relationship apart.

But with a little understanding and patience, you can learn to navigate these dissimilarities and create a strong, lasting marriage. In this article, let’s discuss some common cultural differences in international marriages, as well as tips for how to deal with them.

Defining what culture is

When you marry someone from a different culture, you’re not just marrying them, you’re marrying into their culture too. And that’s a pretty big responsibility.

Culture is more than just the food we eat and the clothes we wear. It’s the way we think and the things we believe in. It’s the way we communicate and the way we interact with others.

When you’re marrying someone from a different culture, it’s important to take the time to learn about their values and their beliefs. Talk to them about their family and their friends. Try to understand how they see the world.

Be open to adapting your own culture to theirs. Be willing to try new things and compromise on certain things. Remember, this is their culture, not yours. You don’t have to agree with everything they believe in, but you should at least be respectful of their beliefs.

Why do cultural differences matter in international marriages?

When two people from distinct cultures get married, there are bound to be some cultural contrasts. These can range from how we view things like family, honor, and affection to how we handle conflict.

While these cultural distinctions can lead to disagreements, somehow it’s what attracts individuals together. But be aware of these differences and learn how to navigate them. This could mean being flexible when it comes to your expectations and try not to take things too personally.

How to communicate about cultural differences with your spouse
couple talking over coffee

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Before entering a union, discuss things like how you both expect to be treated by the other’s family, how you will handle finances, and what your expectations are for the relationship.

It’s also wise to talk about cultural backgrounds and what that means to both parties. By communicating openly and honestly, you will be able to avoid any potential major conflicts down the road.

Developing compromise and respect for each other’s cultural values

What do you need to do to make sure your relationship survives and thrives? Developing mutual respect for each other’s cultural values is a good place to start. You also need to be willing to compromise, which can be tough when it comes to issues like tradition, parenting, and even food.

But if you can find a way to work together, it’s possible to overcome any obstacle that comes your way. And that’s what makes international marriages so special—the ability to learn and grow from each other, no matter what the culture is.

Resources for further help with cultural differences in international marriages
reading a book in bed

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Avid readers can start with a good book on cross-cultural relationships. There are lots of them out there, and they can provide tons of helpful information.

You can also check out online forums that focus on cross-cultural relationships. These will give you insights from people who have been in your shoes. Finally, don’t forget to reach out to your friends and family members who have experience with international marriages. They can offer valuable real-life advice and support.

If you’re entering an international marriage, it’s important to be aware of the cultural differences between you and your partner and to be willing to work together to overcome any potential conflicts. Cultural disparities can cause a lot of tension in a relationship, but with proper communication, they can be overcome. Be respectful of your partner’s culture and be open to trying new things. Those struggling with cultural dissimilarities in their marriages can also consider counseling or mediation to help them resolve any friction. With some effort, we can all learn to live contently with cultural differences.

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The case for answering emails and accepting calls while on vacation

woman using laptop at the beach

You’re on vacation, enjoying some much-needed time off with your friends or family. The sun is shining, the waves are crashing, and you’re relaxing on the beach with a cold drink in hand.  Suddenly, your phone rings. It’s your boss wondering why you haven’t replied to that email yet.

Sound familiar? We’ve all been in this situation: trying to enjoy a holiday while feeling guilty about the work we’re not getting done (on official leave). But is it really necessary to completely unplug from work during vacation?

The answer is: it depends. It’s important to weigh the pros and cons of answering work emails and calls while on vacation. On the one hand, staying connected can help you feel more relaxed and at ease, knowing that things are under control back at the office.

On the other hand, answering emails and taking calls can take time off from your time off, and might not be what you want to be doing while on vacation. So, what’s the best solution? Read on to find out.

Why you should be open to picking up calls and replying to emails while on vacation

First of all, if you’re not available, your clients or customers may end up going to someone else. And that’s the last thing you want—losing business because you’re not taking the time to check-in.

Second, it’s never a good idea to completely disconnect from work. You may be on vacation, but that doesn’t mean you can’t take a break from checking your email once every few hours. It’s all about finding the right balance. Disconnecting entirely can be rejuvenating, but so can sneaking in a quick work call or email reply. It just depends on what works for you.

How to manage expectations with your colleagues before you go on a holiday
man talking to his female coworkers

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You should give your colleagues a heads-up about how long you will be gone for. It’s always better to be upfront and let them know in advance rather than have them find out while you’re gone. 

Let them know that you will be available for work calls and emails, but that you won’t be able to respond right away. This way, they won’t expect an immediate response from you and they won’t be caught off guard if they need to get in touch with you.

Make sure to set some clear boundaries for yourself. Decide the time intervals you will take to answer work-related calls or emails while on vacation, and stick to it. Otherwise, you might find yourself working more than you wanted to.

Tips for setting boundaries while you’re on vacation

You’re on vacation, enjoying a well-earned break. The sun is shining, the cocktails are cold, and you’re determined to stay off your phone and out of email. But then you get a call from your boss. Or an email from a client.

And before you know it, you’re sucked back into work mode. We’ve all been there. It can be tough to draw the line between work and vacation, especially when it feels like the work is never-ending. But it’s good to set boundaries, both for your sanity and for the sake of your holiday companions.

Here are a few tips on how to do that:

  • Turn off notifications for work emails and calls
  • Stick to your vacation schedule as much as possible
  • Make sure your out-of-office message is clear and concise

You’re on vacation to relax, de-stress and maybe see some new places, but that doesn’t mean you have to switch off from work completely. If you can take a few calls or reply to a few emails, it can be a great way to ease back into things when you return to the office. Doing so can help you stay in the loop and avoid any major disasters, but make sure you set some ground rules for yourself before you start checking work emails or taking work calls while on vacation. Find a middle ground for yourself.

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6 Surefire Ways to Save Money as a Watch Collector in Singapore

Do you have a deep affection for luxury watches, but you cannot afford them at the moment? Do you feel that some of the cool timepieces you see seem to be out of your budget? You are not alone! One of the most challenging parts of being a watch enthusiast is reconciling with the fact that a lot of the products you desire are beyond your means.

Having said that, here are 6 ways to honor your budget as a watch collector. Through efficient use of time and resources, it is possible to be a timepiece aficionado while being relatively economical!

#1: SAVE AND SELL WATCHES

In some cases, watches that seemed more affordable ten years ago are now worth two to four times their historic prices. As a timepiece buyer, you need to be more considerate with your choices. You can either sell your unwanted watches or save up for your desired piece.

The majority of watch collectors are purchasing fewer watches and selling some of their pieces in order to fund their new purchases. Becoming skilled at selling unwanted pieces from your collection or trading watches can help you enjoy your luxury watches without needing to spend too much for them.

When it comes to saving money for a watch, a good example is Wayne Chan’s journey. Mr. Chan is a Singapore watch collector who worked odd jobs and saved up his ang paos to purchase a Rolex watch at the age of twenty-one. It was near the start of his first year in polytechnic when he set his eyes on the Rolex Submariner worth approximately S$11,000. He kept every cent from his CNY and birthday ang paos, his internship pays, and even took part-time jobs to save up for the watch. Today, Mr. Chan’s collection is worth about S$19,000.

#2: CONSIDER PRE-OWNED WATCHES

It is understood that if you do not want to pay full price for a new watch, you can opt for pre-owned ones. Pre-owned watches can be sold from the individual sellers or from dealers who compete to offer consumers the best prices.

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Searching for pre-owned watches can be a great way to get the watch you want for less money, and often in a condition that you can live with. It may not come with the watch factory warranty, but you are getting much of the same experience in many aspects. You can start your search at carousell.sg and watchexchange.sg.

#3: INVEST IN CROWD FUNDING CAMPAIGNS

Investing in crowd funding campaigns is risky. Many campaigns deliver the product to the market on time and at the expected quality. However, there are some campaigns which deliver sub-par products and others which are never delivered at all. If something sounds too good to be true, it is.

Kickstarter has a selection of watch campaigns. For instance, manufacturers like Pebble took their ideas to Kickstarter to get investments when developing their products. Fitbit now owns Pebble. While Kickstarter may offer campaigns to suit to needs, do your due diligence before getting involved!

#4: LIVEN UP YOUR EXISTING WATCHES

Experienced watch enthusiasts will tell you that a budget-friendly way to spruce up your existing watches is to change their straps. Start by choosing a watch whose straps can be easily changed. Then, measure the width of the strap to know which strap or bracelet to buy.

Ideally, you can consult an expert to help you select the right straps. Alternatively, you can save money by asking for advice on watch forums or through social media platforms. Take pictures of your watch and ask other community members to suggest which types of straps go well with your watch.

#5: GO FOR JAPANESE WATCHES

If you are looking for new mechanical watches for under S$500, you can opt for Japanese watch makers such as Seiko, Orient, or Citizen. These makers provide quality watches while still maintaining their reasonable price tags.

Typically, the first watches of watch enthusiasts include these Japanese watches. These people find themselves keeping it or using it throughout the years.

#6: DO NOT FIXATE ON FUTURE VALUE

The best watches are works of art. You should purchase watches as you would purchase artworks, by acquiring the things that you love looking at for a long-term basis. Collecting luxury watches as an investment is fraught with risk as some of the most expensive watches depreciate drastically the moment you walk out of the store. In contrast, certain watches that were insanely unpopular before having gone on to provide incredible ROI.

Image Credits: unsplash.com

As Emilyn Lee, a Singapore watch collector, once said:

“I would never suggest we buy a watch just because it has investment value, because there are plenty of other things, we can put money in. I want to know more about the brand I’m connecting with, and what it’s trying to convey in its watches.”

Sources: 1, 2, 3, & 4

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How To Deal with Toxic Family Members

Can you feel the magic in the air? It is whimsical breeze of the holiday season. As the year ends, you have to prepare for countless family gatherings and reunions. While there is no way to completely escape the stressful and awkward situations brought by these parties, there are things you can do to deal with these situations more effectively.

Slow down and relax – it will be over eventually. With that firmly in mind, you will be able to tackle any other situation. Enhance your coping skills by knowing what toxic behaviors are.

Toxic behaviors are unpleasant and unsupportive behaviors, which include people who are being manipulative, judgmental, controlling, and self-centered. Common traits of toxic people, according to licensed clinical social worker Sharon Martin, include:

a. Not showing concern for your feelings, needs, or rights
b. Acting harsh and critical
c. Calling you names
d. Violating your boundaries over and over
e. Refusing to compromise with you on anything
f. Acting entitled
g. Always having to be right
h. Feeling the rules don’t apply to them
i. Making unfair demands on you
j. Not taking responsibility for their actions
k. Blaming others for their mistakes or flaws
l. Rarely saying they’re sorry for something
m. Wild mood and behavior swings, and sessions of rage
n. Lying and/or guilting you to get their way
o. Manipulating you to get to control or take advantage of you and others to get what they want

When you encounter toxic behaviors during family gatherings, remember that you do not always have to agree with these people.

#1: RESPECT EACH OTHER’S OPINION

You do not always have to agree with your family. Family can be your main source of comfort and strength, but it can also be a source of stress. It is not your responsibility to agree with all the beliefs, political views, and other sentiments of your relatives. There is no rule that says that you must have a good relationship with everyone in your family. You have to accept that.

#2: SET CLEAR BOUNDARIES

Toxic people are not motivated to change their behavior. Instead of aiming to change their ways, set your boundaries to protect yourself. For instance, you can politely decline a call request if your sibling continues to curse at you on the phone. State your needs and feelings directly.

 

#3: DEVELOP A ROBUST SENSE OF SELF

People who fail to develop a strong sense of self usually depend on what others say or do not say. These people rely on the presence of others, especially in the presence of family. Observe yourself. Do you manage the anxiety of everyone in your family instead of your own?

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Look inside yourself to manage your feelings and behaviors. Ignoring your own needs results in anxiety and discomfort whenever you are surrounded by multiple family members at once.

#4: KEEP YOUR DISTANCE

To limit the amount of personal information you share, you can emotionally and physically distance yourself. Say your aunt mocks you and makes sarcastic comments about your weight. This is your cue to share as little as possible with her in the future, especially when it comes to your fitness journey.

You do not have to answer private questions too! You can reply by saying: “I would rather not talk about it”.

#5: FOCUS ON THINGS YOU CAN CONTROL

Do not waste your energy on things or scenarios that you cannot control. Instead, devote your energy to tasks and actions that are within your power. Begin the process of healing or restoration.

#6: SWITCH THE TABLES

Turn the question around to make them feel the burn. In many cases, the most awkward questions can be defused by answering the question with another question. Let them answer their own question or at least provide them with a few hints about what they want to hear from you.

Image Credits: unsplash.com

Sources: 1,2, & 3

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Dealing with mind blank during a job interview

woman facing mind blank during an interview

So, you’ve landed an interview for your dream job. Congratulations!

Now comes the hard part: making a great first impression. You want to be confident and poised, but what happens if you suddenly go blank when the interviewer asks you a question?

Well, there are a few things you can do. In this article, we will give you some tips for dealing with mind blank during a job interview. We will also show you how to recover if you do end up saying something silly.

Take a deep breath

Before you even walk into the interview room, take a few deep breaths and center yourself. This will help you to relax and focus on what’s ahead.

When you’re actually in the interview, if you find yourself faced with a mind blank, don’t panic. Just take a few seconds to calm yourself down and gather your thoughts. The interviewer isn’t going to judge you for not having all the answers—that’s not what interviews are all about.

Collect your thoughts

When you feel your mind go blank, take a step back and collect your thoughts. You might also want to ask for a few moments to gather your views before answering any further questions.

Remain calm and avoid panicking. Remind yourself that you’re prepared for this interview and you have the skills and experience to get the job done. What matters is that you show that you’re capable of thinking on your feet and that you’re keen on the position. So whatever you do, don’t give up or start fidgeting nervously.

Practice ahead of time
practicing in front of the mirror

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If you’re familiar with the questions that are going to be asked, you won’t feel so caught off guard.

And even if you can’t predict the questions that will be asked, you can still prepare by practicing your responses to common interview questions. This will help you feel more confident and less likely to experience mind blank during your interview.

Practice makes perfect, so don’t underestimate the power of preparation. It could be the difference between landing your dream job and walking away empty-handed.

Speak slowly and confidently

The fear of being faced with a state of mind where you can’t think of anything to say is a common fear and one that can cause a lot of anxiety in the run-up to a job interview.

But don’t worry, because there are some things you can do to help you deal with it. One is to speak slowly and confidently. This will help to put you at ease and show your interviewer that you’re in control. As long as you are capable of speaking articulately about yourself and your skills, you’re safe.

Next, make sure you do your research in advance. Familiarize yourself with the company and the role you’re interviewing for so that you have some talking points ready.

How to follow up after an interview
man on a phone call

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As mentioned earlier, mind blank is a common problem, and chances are, the interviewer has seen it before. Instead of worrying unnecessarily, follow up with the interviewer as soon as possible.

Thank them for their time, and let them know that you’re interested in the position. Reassure them that you’re confident you can ace the position if given the opportunity.

Most people feel some level of anxiety when put in a high-pressure situation like a job interview. Remember that the interviewer is human too, and they likely understand that things can go wrong sometimes. But on your end, prepare as much as possible beforehand. This will reduce the amount of stress you feel and give you more confidence going into the interview. Also, make a list of potential questions and practice answering them aloud. This will get you feeling comfortable with the answers and keep your mind from going blank. On your interview day, all that’s left is to give your 100%.

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