Couple finances: 12 questions to ask your partner as advised by renowned relationship therapist

Couple Finances

We can’t deny the impact of COVID-19 on our relationships. Quarantine and lockdowns during this season have inevitably led to an increase in divorce cases around the world. As couples spend more time together under one roof, arguments may happen.

If you’ve had a relatively good relationship with your significant other, use this extended time together to talk about your finances. As advised by renowned relationship therapist, Esther Perel, here are 12 money questions you can ask to have a ‘Financially Ever After’ marriage.

#1: What does having money mean to you?

The perception of money will guide you in the way you handle money. Get this sorted upfront!

#2: What does it mean to be good with money?

Get an idea of how your partner defines ‘good with money’. This is because no two individuals are the same. You guys may have different notions about being ‘good with money’.

#3: Did your family talk about money growing up?

With this question, a lot can be traced back from the good old days. Habits are usually formed as a result of exposure from young.

#4: On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate how we spend our money?

If you’re prepared to ask this question, be ready for an honest answer. It may not be a positive one, but a good chance to re-evaluate how the both of you are spending money.

#5: If I spent $100 on something and didn’t tell you, would you be upset with me? How about $1,000?

Your partner may have something to say regarding how you spend your money. It may also boil down to whether you and your partner have merged finances after getting married.

#6: What is your biggest money regret or mistake?

Honesty is the best policy. Revisiting money regrets or mistakes in the past can help realign your money decisions in the future.

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#7: What keeps you up at night about our finances?

Is either one of you exceptionally worried about your current finances? Get it off your chest by sharing with one another and see what you guys can do to solve it.

#8: What will we do when we disagree about money and just can’t see eye-to-eye?

Disagreements are bound to happen. Discussing this in advance will set the path right when unhappy situations arise.

#9: What would we do if one of us were laid off?

Are both of you saving up for a rainy day? If not, talk about plans for emergency funds or even a joint savings plan if a retrenchment happens.

#10: How has the pandemic changed how you think about our finances?

Now’s a good time to re-evaluate your couple finances. Have your plans been disrupted? How will you and your partner recover from the effects of COVID-19?

#11: Do you feel like we’re on track financially to achieve our goals? What are our financial goals?

Personally, I think the second question comes first. Are there even financial goals in the first place? This will then guide you to review whether you guys are on track to achieving it.

#12: What’s one money habit that you admire about me?

Finally, this positive question will help you to round up the conversation on a better note. It also helps both of you to appreciate the qualities that you lack which can be found in the other party.


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