Parenting 101: Learning to discipline kids with love

mother and child at the beach

Spare the rod, spoil the child?

As a parent, you know that’s not always true. In fact, spanking and other forms of physical punishment can often do more harm than good.

So how do you discipline your child in a way that’s effective and loving? In this article, we will discuss some of the best ways to discipline your child with love, share some tips on how to avoid reacting out of anger, and how to deal with difficult behaviors.

Establishing a rewards system to reinforce behavior

When it comes to discipline, positive reinforcement works better than punishment.

When children feel praised and rewarded for good behavior, they’re more likely to continue exhibiting it.

You can create a token system to help with this. For every day that your child displays the desired behavior, they earn a certain number of points. Once they’ve earned a certain number of points, they can then exchange them for a special privilege or treat.

A key part of this is consistency. Make sure that the rules and rewards are set, and that both you and your child are clear on what’s expected of them. This will help make the system easier for everyone to follow.

Setting clear expectations and boundaries
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Your child needs to know what is expected of them, so be clear and concise, and offer choices whenever possible.

For example, if your child refuses to eat their vegetables, you can give them two choices: eat the vegetables or eat whatever else is left on the plate and go to bed hungrier.

Follow through on the consequences you’ve laid out. If you say that your child won’t get other food alternatives for not eating their vegetables, then make sure to follow through with that. This will help your child learn that you’re serious about the rules you’ve set.

Learning to stay calm in times of conflict

Remember, you’re the adult in this situation. If you start yelling or get angry, it will only make things worse.

That’s not to say that you have to be a pushover. You need to be firm and set boundaries but do so in a way that’s kind and respectful. And always try to see things from your child’s perspective. They’re probably feeling frustrated, and that’s normal.

Acknowledge those feelings and try to find a way to resolve the conflict. Maybe there’s a consequence you’re willing to give them that won’t involve punishment? Or maybe there’s something you can do to help them understand why their behavior is unacceptable?

No two situations are the same, so always try to stay flexible and be open to different solutions.

Utilizing the power of apologies for yourself and your children
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When you make a mistake, own up to it.

We all know that no one is perfect, but sometimes it’s easy to forget that as an adult. If you’ve done something that’s hurt your child, even if it was unintentional, apologize. It shows them that it’s okay to make mistakes and that we all need to take responsibility for our actions.

But don’t just stop there—explain what you did wrong and why it wasn’t okay. This will help your child understand why you’re apologizing and help them avoid making the same mistake in the future. And when they apologize to you? Make sure you accept it graciously. This will show them that it’s important to forgive as well as ask for forgiveness, and will encourage them to do the same in their own lives.

Using redirection to turn difficult situations into learning moments

Redirection is a parenting technique that can be used to promote desirable behavior and learning in kids. It involves redirecting a child’s attention from an undesirable behavior or activity to a more positive one.

When redirecting, say the rule and explain the reason for it. For example, “We don’t hit because it hurts other people.” This helps kids understand the rule and why it’s necessary. It also helps them learn to control their impulses and make better choices.

Redirection can also be used to set limits and establish clear consequences for behavior. For example, “If you hit your sister, you will lose your toy.” This helps kids understand that there are consequences for their actions and that they need to be careful about what they do.

So, how can you discipline your child in a way that is both effective and loving? Keep in mind that discipline should be consistent and should not involve any unnecessary physical punishment. Not only is this ineffective, but it can also be dangerous. Remember that it is wiser to teach your child how to behave than to punish them for their misbehavior. Disciplining your child can be challenging but with patience and love, you can help your child learn how to conduct themselves respectfully and acceptably.

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The transformative effects of speaking kinder words

ladies socializing over drinks

When you trip and fall, do you berate yourself for being clumsy? Or do you get up, brush yourself off, and keep going?

When we’re too hard on ourselves, we not only set ourselves up for failure but also miss out on all the good things life has to offer.

The good news is that it’s never too late to start being kinder to yourself. In fact, using kinder words can have transformative effects on your life.

An exploration of the power of our words

Words have a lot of power.

Just think about the last time you argued with your partner or spouse.

Chances are, the argument escalated because of something one of you said. And once those words were out there, they were almost impossible to take back.

The same is true when it comes to our inner monolog. We tend to be tough on ourselves, and the words we say to ourselves can be downright brutal.

  • “I’m such a screw-up.”
  • “I can’t do anything right.”
  • “Nobody will ever love me.”

Just listening to those phrases can be incredibly demoralizing. But it doesn’t have to be that way. We can choose our words more carefully, and in doing so, we can start to change our mindset — and even our life.

Let’s talk about self-talk: Why it matters

How you talk to yourself has a huge impact on your mood, your stress levels, your happiness quotient, and even your overall health. In other words, if you’re not kind to yourself, you’re doing yourself a major disservice.

Luckily, this is something that can be learned with practice. When you start to pay attention to the words you use to describe yourself, you will likely be amazed at how negative most of them are. And that’s not good for anyone.

The key is to replace those negative self-talk patterns with more positive ones. This takes time, but when you start to speak kindly to yourself, you will find that you’re less stressed and generally happier overall.

Acknowledging the impact of our language
man looking into a broken piece of mirror

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Words are powerful, and the language we use has a huge impact on our lives.

That’s why it’s so crucial to be intentional with the words we use — especially when it comes to how we talk to ourselves.

It’s easy to be harsh and critical of ourselves, but that only leads to more self-judgment. On the other hand, speaking kindly to ourselves (and others) have transformative effects. It breeds self-compassion.

How can we start speaking kinder words?

Pay attention to the tone of your voice when you’re talking to yourself and others.

If you tend to be critical, see if you can start catching yourself and changing the way you’re speaking.

It can also be helpful to imagine what you would want someone to say to you if you were in a tough situation. Would you want them to be supportive or critical? Try to say things to yourself that you wish someone else would say to you.

And finally, remember that it’s okay to make mistakes. We all do. What’s significant is how we respond to our mistakes. If we can learn to be more forgiving of ourselves, it will be easier to extend that same kindness to others.

Making the mindful shift to kinder words

For instance, let’s say you have the thought, “I’m such an idiot.”

Why do you think that? What evidence do you have to support that? Is there another way of looking at the situation? How would you talk to a friend in the same situation?

When you start to question your negative thoughts, you can begin to shift them into more supportive, friendly ones. Making the mindful shift to kinder words can help build better habits and lead to greater life satisfaction.

The ripple effect of compassionate communication
fingers creating a ripple effect

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Did you know that one act of compassion can have ripples around the world?

It’s true! When you’re kind to yourself, it sets off a chain reaction of kindness. Here’s how it works: When you’re kind to yourself, it elicits feelings of empathy and compassion, which then cause you to be kinder to others. 

This act of kindness then inspires others to be kind as well! So next time you’re feeling down, remember that your words have the power to transform not only your own life but the lives of those around you. Just by speaking kindly to yourself, you can make a difference.

Speaking kinder words to yourself — and others — can have a transformative effect on your life. It can help to foster a more positive outlook, make you feel good about yourself, and strengthen your relationships. When you find yourself being hard on yourself, or when you feel yourself starting to get upset with someone, take a step back and switch to kinder words. It works.

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From loner to leader: Better yourself into a collaborator

team discussion

Do you sometimes feel like you’re the only one doing any work on your group projects? Or that you always have to be the one to take charge?

Let’s discuss some of the best ways to become a better collaborator. We will talk about how to share tasks equitably, how to communicate effectively with your team members, and how to stay organized. We will also offer some advice on how to deal with conflicts and navigate tricky situations.

By following these tips, you will find that teamwork becomes much easier—and more fun.

Developing good listening skills

When you’re trying to become a better collaborator, the first step is to develop good listening skills.

This means being aware of your surroundings and the people you’re working with. It also means paying attention to what’s being said, and not just waiting for your turn to talk.

Encouraging others to offer solutions before giving your own is another way of showing that you’re listening. It also shows that you’re open to other people’s ideas and that you’re not just trying to impose your views on the group.

Finally, always restate key points that you’ve heard so that you can check for accuracy. This will ensure that everyone is on the same page and that any misunderstandings are cleared up right away.

Respecting others’ time and efforts
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Respecting everyone’s time and efforts mean being upfront about your expectations and encouraging a respectful discussion. It also means recognizing the results of everyone’s hard work and celebrating positive outcomes.

By doing this, you’re setting the tone for a productive and positive working environment. And when everyone is focused on working together to find solutions, you’re more likely to achieve great things.

Building on your communication skills

Be aware of your communication style and understand that there is more than one way to communicate effectively. Second, adjust your communication style to fit the situation. And third, hone active listening skills.

Here are some specific things you can do to work on your communication skills:

  • Make sure you understand the task at hand and the goal you’re trying to achieve
  • Repeat back what you’ve heard to ensure that you understand
  • Use “I” statements rather than “you” statements
  • Ask questions if you’re unclear about something
  • Seek first to understand, then to be understood
Learning to lead – without being bossy
a micromanager boss eyeing his employee

Image Credits: thebalancecareers.com

Being assertive is a crucial skill to have, especially if you want to be a leader.

But there’s a difference between being assertive and being bossy—and it’s a line you need to be careful not to cross.

When you’re assertive, you’re confident in yourself and your ability to contribute to the team, but you’re also respectful of other people’s opinions and willing to compromise when necessary.

On the other hand, being bossy means that you’re trying to control the team and get your way, without any regard for what others might want or think. So how can you make sure you’re being assertive and not bossy?

Well, be transparent and truthful with your team, but also tactful. You need to be able to explain your ideas and listen to feedback, without getting defensive or taking things personally. It’s also good to understand what leadership is, and the different team dynamics at play. If you can learn how to lead without being bossy, you will be much more influential—and respected—as a collaborator.

Becoming aware of behavioral differences

You might not even realize it, but the way you act can be a big contributing factor to whether or not people want to collaborate with you.

Maybe you’re the type of person who’s always trying to take control and be the commander, without considering other people’s input. Or maybe you’re so quiet and shy that people don’t even know you have good ideas.

Whatever the case may be, be aware of behavioral differences and how they can impact collaboration. If you’re not sure where to start, here are some tips:

  • Talk to others about their experiences collaborating with you. What do they say your strengths and weaknesses are?
  • Pay attention to the way you act in group settings. Do you tend to take charge, or do you sit back and let others take the lead?
  • Be open to feedback and willing to make changes. If you want to be a better collaborator, you need to be open to modifications.

The good news is that being more of a team player is something that can be learned. And it’s not about pretending to be someone you’re not. It’s about developing the skills you need to be successful in collaborative environments. It starts with understanding what team players do differently. And then it involves adopting those same behaviors yourself. And finally, it requires practicing those behaviors until they become second nature. Being a better collaborator is a journey, not a destination. And the good news is that you can get there with practice and patience.

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Cross Island Line Phase 1 Targets to Be Completed by 2030

On January 18, the construction of the Cross Island Line (CRL) Phase 1 began. It is the country’s eighth MRT line. The interchanges for Phases 1 and 2 will include Hougang on the North-East Line, Ang Mo Kio on the North-South Line, Bright Hill on the Thomson-East Coast Line, Pasir Ris and Clementi on the East-West Line, and King Albert Park on the Downtown Line. The details for Phase 3 of the CRL will be released later.

According to Land Transport Authority, CRL sets a record as the longest fully underground line.

“Our eighth MRT line, the Cross Island Line will be our longest fully underground line at more than 50 kilometers long. It will serve existing and future developments in the eastern, western, and north-eastern corridors, connecting major hubs such as Jurong Lake District, Punggol Digital District and Changi region.

When operational, it will have the highest number of interchange stations, with almost half the stations on the line being linked to existing rail stations. This means more alternative travel routes to get to your destination.”

The 29-kilometre-long Phase 1 of the CRL will include 12 stations from Aviation Park to Bright Hill. This will be beneficial for the residential and industrial areas such as Tampines, Pasir Ris, Defu, Hougang, Serangoon North, and Ang Mo Kio. It is estimated that more than 100,000 households will be served from Phase 1 of CRL. Furthermore, common recreational spaces such as Changi Beach Park and Bishan-Ang Mo Kio Park will become accessible through public transportation. Construction for Phase 1 of CRL is targeted to be completed by 2030.

Image Credits: lta.gov.sg

The second phase is approximately 15 kilometers and comprises six underground stations such as Turf City, King Albert Park, Maju, Clementi, West Coast, and Jurong Lake District. The Environmental Impact Study for Phase 2 of CRL has been completed and reports are made available.

The construction works for CRL – Punggol Extension are expected to start by the end of 2022 and targeted to be completed by 2032.

Transport Minister S Iswaran highlights that this massive project is not without its challenges as its construction will “test the professional mettle of our engineers and all our partners”.

He added: “That means having a tunnel that goes through a wide variety of soil conditions at different stretches, ranging from soft marine clay to extremely hard rock.” Special machines and added precautions will be needed to ensure the safety of the workers and the stability of the ground.

Rail expansion is a key thrust in Singapore’s comprehensive effort to enhance its transport system – from the first to the last mile, said the transport minister. The CRL is set to improve the lives of its residents and workers nearby. It also gives people access to the beautiful attractions that they offer.

Let’s see what CRL offers in the year 2030!

Sources: 1 & 2

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Work Efficiency Tips for People with ADHD

People with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) can experience different challenges at work. These challenges include struggling to finish tasks, difficulty in prioritizing assignments, and feelings of boredom.

Pinpointing effective strategies to help you cope with these challenges can greatly impact your work success and overall happiness.

#1: TIME YOUR TASKS

Use a timer to adjust the schedule of each work task. Be realistic about the time you need to accomplish something. Plan for urgent tasks and prioritize as some things take longer than you think. For some people, thirty minutes of work followed by a 10-minute break is beneficial. For others, a shorter work or break period may work better.

#2: PREPARE YOUR STATION

Prepare your workstation to stimulate concentration. A conducive working station looks different for everyone. Personally, I prefer working in a quiet area with a comfortable and a table. Do you prefer to work with the blinds half open or closed? Do you prefer to be sitting on a pillow or a hard bench? Prepare your environment for focus.

#3: START WITH THE FUN

Do the interesting tasks first. Once you get the fun stuff done and have your dopamine high, your body would want more things to be accomplished. This will lead you to finishing the rest of the uninteresting tasks.

#4: HAVE BREAKS

Give yourself a transition time between tasks. For mentally challenging projects, you can set a 10-minute break to take a walk or to sip a cup of joe. Use this time to psych yourself up for the next task on your to-do list.

#5: AVOID MULTITASKING

Multitasking hurts productivity and causes people to lose time switching between tasks. This statement pertains to employees with or without ADHD. Staying focused on a task is necessary to get it done. If you frequently multitask, you will have a tougher time completing the necessary tasks. Do things one at a time.

#6: SPLIT COMPLICATED TASKS

Adults with ADHD tend to have difficulty with long, multi-step tasks. For complicated tasks, you can split it into manageable chunks. Break the large tasks into smaller steps that are not as intimidating. This will help you keep up your momentum as you focus on the next doable step.

#7: LIMIT DISTRACTIONS

While you are at work, try to limit the distractions. Request a private space in the office and shut the door to block out distractions. If this is not possible, you can politely ask for your spot to be placed away from the main work area. Of course, these options are not always available.

#8: SEEK SUPPORT

A supportive co-worker or an understanding manager can help you stay on task and be your source of support. Some people have found it helpful to share information about ADHD to their employers. Sharing your condition and seeking help can make work more successful.

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Boosting your focus at work often involves a bit of experimenting. Keep track of which strategies you are using and monitor your progress. Should things get increasingly difficult you can seek the help of a mental health professional to manage your symptoms.

Sources: 1 & 2

 

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