The journey of love: Why finding love starts with you

self-love written on the wall

It’s easier said than done, but it’s true: The journey of love starts with you. That’s because finding true love starts with cultivating self-love and self-acceptance.

It’s time to break free from seeking validation from others—whether it comes in the form of romantic relationships, friendships, or something else entirely. To tap into that self-love and find the courage for growth, you will have to understand what lies at its root: compassion for yourself.

What does it mean to love yourself?

Loving yourself first involves recognizing that you are valuable and worthy of respect.

It means having high self-esteem and constantly striving to improve yourself and your outlook. It means that you know what you need and want out of life, even if those things are difficult to achieve. It means embracing who you are and taking the necessary steps to become the person you want to be.

Ultimately, learning how to love yourself first helps foster a greater sense of self-confidence, worthiness, and positivity. With a stronger foundation, you can feel at peace with yourself—and that feeling radiates outward into your relationships with others.

Learning to set boundaries in relationships
a couple chilling by the beach with a bonfire

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Learning to set boundaries in a relationship is not only key to establishing a healthy connection but also a crucial step in learning how to love yourself. It’s not always easy to know when you’re giving too much, or when it’s time to take some space for yourself.

But clear boundaries form the foundation of healthy relationships by allowing you to have a better understanding of yourself; who you are and what you need. When you understand what your limits are, you can help ensure that your emotional needs are being met in the relationship.

It is also important to remember that putting yourself first in a relationship is essential for both your physical health and mental well-being. Take the time for yourself and practice saying “no” every once in a while. Remember that making self-care a priority helps establish healthy boundaries and gives the relationship room to grow.

How to stop seeking validation from others

Learning to love yourself first before searching for validation from your partner starts with understanding why you have been seeking external validation in the first place.

To understand this, consider the relationship you had with your parents or caregivers when you were a child. How did they respond to your needs or show their affection? In what ways did they express their love towards you? Have they ever rejected your emotional needs, leaving you feeling invalidated and unworthy of love?

When you find yourself getting caught up in obsessing over what your significant other thinks of you, remember to take a step back and check in with yourself. Take some time for self-reflection, and ask yourself what is it that you’re looking for and why? Doing this will help build trust within yourself and make decisions based on how to best care for your own heart and soul.

Drown out the negativity with acts of self-love: practice self-care, do things that make you feel good about yourself, start healing old patterns of behavior, be gentle on yourself; focus on the goodness from the inside out. By doing so, the external validation becomes unnecessary because now instead of seeking approval from a partner, you are validating everything that lies within—you become the source of validation.

Moving forward with a healthy sense of self-worth
woman forming a heart with her hands

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When you take the time to reflect and look inside yourself, it becomes clear that to find true love, you must first learn to love yourself.

  • Self-love and self-compassion

As a recap, self-love is concerned with understanding and appreciating yourself as you are and developing inner strength. You must be brave enough to accept what makes you unique, good and bad, and build on these insights. Self-compassion involves being kinder to yourself when things don’t go quite as planned or when things that are beyond your control don’t go your way.

  • Understanding people pleasing is a losing battle

Rather than focusing your energy on seeking external validation by pleasing other people, recognize what it means to love yourself, and value who you are as a person despite any perceived shortcomings or failures. That’s when you will authentically attract real love into your life. You will realize that people-pleasing was just a losing battle all along, but now you have the power of true self-love instead!

Ultimately, the journey of love starts with you. Whether we realize it or not, our expectations for relationships are largely set by our capacity for self-love. If we’re looking externally for validation, acceptance, and love, likely, we haven’t found true love within ourselves. True love starts with you. When the love and acceptance within you are stronger than its external counterpart, the journey of love will be nothing short of extraordinary. Learning how to love yourself is a process, but by taking the steps necessary to prioritize self-love, you can find yourself experiencing a happier, more balanced, and more meaningful journey of love.

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An unconventional asset: The reasons why you should hire a highly sensitive person

two men shaking hands

Why on earth would you even consider hiring a highly sensitive person for your team? Are they worth the “trouble”?

Let us take a moment to tell you why you should seriously consider hiring such people. Hiring the right person for a job can have a huge impact on your team and organization, and hiring someone with a high sensitivity level can open up new areas of possibilities and benefits that other candidates simply can’t offer.

From their sensitiveness to their motivation and dedication, these people have much more to offer than what meets the eye. Let’s dive in!

What is a highly sensitive person (HSP)?

Are you an employer in need of an unconventional human asset?

One who understands the subtleties of any working environment and can connect to the feelings of those around them? Consider hiring a highly sensitive person (HSP).

What is a highly sensitive person? They are individuals who tend to be deeply moved by the emotions around them and are more aware of subtleties than others. HSPs can often sense what’s going on with people before they even speak up.

This awareness allows them to be sensitized to how their team members or customers may be feeling, and therefore able to make better decisions. In addition, HSPs are highly adept at noticing patterns in data and then connecting that data to what they pick up emotionally. Their decisions come from a deeper place of understanding and empathy.

Benefits of having an HSP on your team
listening to a coworker

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When it comes to hiring, it pays to consider people with a little something extra.

HSPs bring some unique advantages to the table that can make them the highest performers on your team.

Just think of all the benefits you will get with an HSP on board:

  • They have sophisticated people skills—they intuitively understand how to make individuals feel heard and cared for, so interpersonal relationships can develop more easily.
  • They are empathetic—they take into account other people’s feelings and use those insights when communicating with others.
  • They bring a creative, curious mindset to their work—HSPs have an eye for detail and think outside the box when it comes to problem-solving.
  • They are highly tuned into their environment—paying close attention to changes in atmosphere, mood, and culture to create a better working environment for everyone.

By considering highly sensitive candidates as part of your recruitment process, you will be able to benefit from these qualities and gain a valuable asset for your team.

Challenges when managing highly sensitive people

You may find yourself wondering—are highly sensitive people tough to handle? That’s a fair question.

The fact of the matter is, managing and working with highly sensitive people can be challenging if you’re not prepared.

For one, highly sensitive people tend to be overwhelmed by too much stimulation in the workplace. Too much sound, smell, or intensity of interaction can lead to stress and ultimately result in decreased performance. HR managers and bosses need to take this into account when managing HSPs.

Strategies to assist HSPs in the workplace
an open office space

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When you hire an HSP for your team, you needn’t worry—there are a few strategies that are easy to implement to help them succeed and boost morale in the workplace.

  • Abort your open office plan

The first step is to consider whether an open office plan is the best fit for the workplace.

While it may be the norm, it can be difficult for HSPs to thrive in this kind of environment since too much noise and too many distractions can cause them to become overwhelmed or anxious.

When considering hiring an HSP, make sure you have safe, quiet spaces away from the noise for them to work.

  • Don’t criticize them upfront

HSPs may take feedback differently than what you expect from someone else on your team because they tend to process information deeply and intensely.

Whenever you provide feedback on their work, be mindful of their needs and make sure they understand it’s just constructive criticism—not a personal attack.

This will help prevent feelings of hurt or resentment that could stem from bluntness or misunderstanding later down the line.

  • Look for opportunities to help HSP employees apply their empathy skills

One thing HSPs are often great at is empathizing with people—so look for opportunities where they can bring it into the workplace and apply it in useful ways.

For example, having conversations with customers or meeting with vendors for project management roles are great ways for HSP employees to demonstrate their empathy skills while also proving themselves valuable within your organization.

As we close, know that while there may be challenges in managing highly sensitive individuals, they also come with significant benefits. Not only are they able to pick up on subtleties and nuances that other people might miss, but they are also able to bring a creative, open-minded, and emotionally aware approach to your team. Highly sensitive people can be a valuable asset to any organization and should not be discounted.

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6 Telltale Signs that You Aren’t Financially Ready to Get Married

Two of the most sought-after life goals are love and money. Research supports that married couples build more wealth over their lifetime compared to those who remain single. When two people decide to spend their lives together, it is important to get to know each other’s perspective as a robust financial team.

You can be 38 and still be unprepared to settle down. Or you can be in a six-year relationship with someone you are madly in love with, but you are not ready to get married.

Regardless of the age you plan to marry, discussing your financial goals as a couple is an essential part of the conversation on your shared life goals.

On that note, here are some telltale signs that you are not financially ready to settle down.

#1: YOU’RE IN A ROUGH PATCH

A wedding would not pay for itself, so you and your partner need to save up for it. You also need to financially prepare for your life after the wedding. Household and childcare expenses will increase over time. Expenses include tuition fees, medical expenses, home loans, retirement fund, and so on.

If you are not financially ready to get married, it’s best to put all the wedding plans on hold for the time being.

#2: YOU HAVEN’T TACKLED YOUR LIVING SITUATION

For most couples, investing in a home is one of the biggest purchases they have to make. It requires careful planning and countless discussions. You need to discuss your living situation as a couple, before getting married.

Are you buying a new or resale HDB flat? Are you financing your HDB flat with an HDB loan or bank loan? How much are you going to shell out from your savings in your CPF Ordinary Account?

Keep in mind that the more money you get from your CPF savings to finance your property, the less you may have for retirement in the future. Furthermore, you must be insured under the Home Protection Scheme (HPS) if you are using your CPF savings to pay for your monthly housing loan installments.

#3: YOUR WEDDING BUDGET CONSTANTLY CHANGES

Many couples deal with unforeseen wedding expenses during wedding plans and on the day itself. If you notice that your wedding budget changes constantly, it could be a sign that you haven’t fully thought about what you can pay for.

Sit down with your partner to discuss your wedding budget and provide an ample buffer for unexpected fees. You do not need to actualize all the wedding ideas you have pinned in your Pinterest account. Instead, you need to be realistic when it comes to knowing what you want and what you can afford.

#4: YOU HAVEN’T PLANNED FOR YOUR POST-WEDDING EXPENSES

What happens when you return home from your honeymoon? Will you face rent payments, home loans, or student loans head-on? Think about how you will be able to manage the post-wedding expenses.

Not thinking about these post-wedding expenses or not saving up for your future can bring you stress during your first year/s as a married couple.

#5: YOU HAVE TRUST ISSUES

When it comes to finances, do you have problems in trusting your partner? Take it as a sign that you are not ready for marriage.

There may be a deep-rooted cause for your trust issues, but getting married will not resolve the problem. Help yourself overcome these issues first so you can truly have an open and trusting relationship with each other. You can seek professional help when necessary.

#6: YOUR CREDIT HISTORY IS TAINTED

While you may end up sharing just about everything after getting married, your credit history and credit scores remain separate in the eyes of the financial institutions. However, this can affect your relationship significantly.

It is important to be transparent about your credit score and credit history before settling down. While you may sympathize with your partner’s unpleasant financial situation and offer to help, realize that you may be in for more challenges if outstanding debts begin to suffocate your finances.

Image Credits: unsplash.com

If you see beaming red flags that you are not ready for marriage, then do not get married. Getting married is more than just signing a piece of paper. It’s a life-changing event that you must prepare for physically, mentally, and financially.

Before settling down, you need to plan all aspects of your life including your finances. Drastic changes in your finances will happen from the day you get married. You will need to make a lot of financial decisions together, so learn how to compromise and work as a team.

Sources: 1,2,3,4,& 5

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Thinking of migrating? Here’s what you need to consider first

passport and boarding pass

There are many factors to consider when deciding if and where to migrate.

Can you get a valid visa? Are there job opportunities in your new country? Will you have access to quality healthcare? How long will it take for you to adjust to a new culture?

The answers to these questions will help you make the right decision for yourself and your family. In this article, we will explore some of the key issues you will need to think about before taking the plunge and moving abroad.

Understand the cost of living in your destination country

You may have already decided on a list of countries to migrate to—but now it’s time to figure out if you can live there comfortably.

The cost of living varies greatly from place to place, and before you can judge if you will be able to afford to move abroad, you need to understand it.

You can start by researching online and reading up on what the cost of food, transportation, rent, and other essentials may look like in your destination country.

Once you have an idea of what your expenditure level could look like, create a mock budget for yourself to get a better idea of how much money you’d need to survive in the country—and whether or not it’s doable for the lifestyle you want.

You want to avoid any unpleasant surprises after relocating, so a better understanding of expenses is crucial here. Put in the extra effort now and save yourself from unwanted disasters later!

Connect with other immigrants or locals
woman having a video call

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Talking with others who have gone through the process of migrating, or those who live in the country you’re considering can go a long way in helping you gain clarity and peace of mind.

It’s best to connect with several people and seek opinions from different angles. This will help you get a better sense of the daily life in your desired city or country and what to expect, such as job opportunities, cost of living, etc.

You may be surprised at how many helpful and supportive people are out there. Reaching out is an essential step as it allows you to hear about their experiences directly and ask specific questions that give you a more realistic view before taking any next steps.

Consider language & cultural differences

Migrating to a new country is more than just packing up your bags and finding a place to stay. 

After all, you will be living in a completely different place, with a different culture, possibly different language, and customs.

To have the best possible experience and make sure that you will feel at home in your new country, it’s important to do some reading beforehand.

  • Knowing the local language

One of the first things you should consider when preparing for your move is learning the language of the country you’re moving to.

Knowing at least basic phrases will help you settle into your new life more easily, helping you with day-to-day tasks like shopping or getting around. Having an understanding of the local language will also help with networking and making friends who can help you along each step of the journey.

  • Learning about the culture

Another meaningful thing to keep in mind when planning your move is learning about—and respecting—local customs and traditions.

Doing some research before your move will not only help you fit into this new social landscape but also avoid any cultural missteps that could embarrass or offend someone else.

Finding a job and accommodation
person holding a house key

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Once you’ve considered the immediate and long-term consequences of your move to a new country, it’s time to think about how you’re going to make a living and live there. This can be either exciting or daunting depending on your perspective, but it is an essential component of the migration process.

  • Finding a job

Your first task is to research the job market in your chosen destination.

A good place to start is by understanding which industries are growing, what skill sets are in demand, and whether any incentives exist for businesses to hire foreign workers.

Additionally, if you don’t already have an offer from an employer in your desired country, it might be worth looking at job search websites for opportunities that fit your skill sets.

  • Accommodation

Before leaving your home country, think about where you’re going to live.

In some cases, this could be provided as part of an employment package. However, if you don’t have that option available, make sure you research homes that fit within your budget before committing to move.

What’s clear is that the decision to move to a different country is not one to be taken lightly, and the impact on your life, well-being, and financial situation can be significant. The best way to approach migrating is to consider the opportunity and potential available to you, thoroughly research your options and develop an action plan with realistic goals to achieve your objectives. Above all, make sure you have a solid understanding of the laws, regulations, and cultural norms of the country you are planning to move to, so you can make an informed decision about what will be the best for you (and your family) in the long term.

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8 Free Things to Enjoy in Singapore This Month

 

Itching to get out of the house and explore what the island has to offer? Fortunately for you, you do not need to shell out money to enjoy a variety of shows, workshops, and tours. You will be able to experience the activities on this list at no cost!

#1: VISIT SINGAPORE’S OLDEST FIRE STATION

If you dreamt of becoming a firefighter as a child, this is your chance to encapsulate your childhood dream. Plan your visit to the Civil Defence Heritage Gallery to learn more about Singapore’s Civil Defence Force.

Within the halls of the Singapore’s oldest fire station are collections of firefighting exhibits and paraphernalia, which tackle notable moments in history including the Bukit Ho Swee fire. Experience simulating a real fire attack by going to their SCDF Emergency Preparedness Centre. What are you waiting for? Book your visit here.

Location: 62 Hill Street, Singapore 179367

#2: INVITE A FRIEND TO A PHOTO WALK

Invite a friend to a photo walk where you will both get insider tips from phone photography experts. These experts will teach you how to improve your mobile photography and editing skills. Apple’s “Photo Tour: Capture Marina Bay After Dark” takes you around Singapore’s Marina Bay to learn how to take beautiful low-light photos using Night mode and more on iPhone.

Experts will show you how to balance foreground and background, adjust exposure, and set up your best night shot. The Tour streches about 500m. Best of all? All these techniques are free! All you need to do is bring your iPhone or you can loan the latest iPhone models for snapping memories.

There are three sessions this March 2023. Click here to sign-up.

Location: 2 Bayfront Avenue, B2-06, Singapore 018972

#3: DIGEST THE HISTORY OF ST JAMES POWER STATION

The St James Power Station began its restoration works in 2018. At present, the monument has been reborn with a new Heritage Trail and Gallery. History enthusiasts can visit a free trail of Singapore’s maritime history and the evolution of the country’s first power station of such magnitude.

After relishing history during the trail, you can go inside the Heritage Gallery. Here you will experience impressive 3D artwork, animated augmented reality video series, and an interesting exhibit.

Register with your loved ones here.

Location: 3 Sentosa Gateway, Singapore 098544

#4: TURN YOUR OLD TEE INTO A TOTE BAG

Say goodbye to your old shirt and hello to a reusable tote bag with the support of Project Re:ground. Project Re:ground is a mental wellbeing initiative by Youth Corps Singapore in collaboration with the Health Promotion Board. This event highlights the importance of breathing new life into the items that you would otherwise throw away.

Image Credits: unsplash.com

This artistic event happens on 23 March 2023 at 7pm. Do not forget to bring along an old T-shirt and a water bottle! Learn more about this event by visiting volunteer.gov.sg.

Location: 113 Somerset Road, The Red Box, Singapore 238165

#5: GO TO THE SINGAPORE CAT FESTIVAL

Singapore Cat Festival is back for the third time! Celebrate your beloved cats this 25 to 26 March 2023 by joining cat adoption drives, breed showcases, vet chats, retail booths, and face painting.

This Festival is a cat-friendly event, so you can bring your purrfect companion as you browse the booths. Just make sure that your cat is secured in a carrier.

Location: Great World, Level 1 Atrium & Office Lobby, 1 Kim Seng Promenade, Singapore 237994

#6: INDULGE ON THE SNEAKER AND STREET CULTURE

Sneakertopia, an ArtsScience Museum exhibition, features film screenings that explore important films displaying streetwear and sneaker culture. This month, you will be able to watch entertaining films such as Space Jam: A New Legacy (2021), Space Jam (1996), and more.

From iconic blockbusters to indie titles, you can take a closer look at how films play a vital role in fashion and style. There are more film titles to come for April and May screening.

Location: ArtScience Cinema (Level 4), ArtScience Museum, 6 Bayfront Avenue, Singapore 018974

#7: BOOST YOUR RESUME

Thanks to the National Library Board (NLB)’s “Get Professional” series, you will be able to access professional techniques on how to improve your resume or C.V. writing and networking skills.

Industry experts will guide you throughout the process. This online workshop is on 22 March 2023 from 7pm – 9pm. Secure your spot here!

#8: GO FOR A WALKATHON

Let’s Walk, Singapore will take you on a free 3km walkathon in Yishun Park. Start your fitness journey with your friends and family! As a bonus, all attendees will receive a Sunnystep voucher.

This free event on 25 March will start with a gentle warm-up stretch routine and give you breaks every 20-30 minutes or so. To end the session, you will go through a short cool down stretch. What are you waiting for? Get your tickets here.

Image Credits: unsplash.com

Location: Yishun Park (entrance near SAFRA Yishun Country Club)

Sources: 1 & 2

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