Doing things alone is not that scary. Or is it?

woman eating alone

I’ve heard many people telling me:

“Doing things alone? So lonely leh.”

But my stance is, why not?

Doing things alone is not that scary, at least for me. But most significantly, it brings about a range of benefits that would make you wish you’d started earlier.

Peace with yourself

I’m kinda on the extreme side so I’ll try to tone things down just for this article.

I mean, I am almost 99% against doing things with someone else because being alone is so liberating.

Call it inner peace or whatever you like, I find myself better able to tune in to my thoughts when I’m on my own. Being with another person can be fun for some, but when it comes to decision-making, the pressure to “heed” someone else’s advice is suffocating.

Outer pressures are so not my thing. If you like that top, or that pants, or have ice kachang for breakfast, then just do it. Why hesitate because of a passing comment or feedback that shouldn’t matter?

The freedom is unmatched

I sound like a loner but don’t get me wrong.

Wait, what’s wrong with being a loner? Ha!

The freedom that comes with being alone and doing things alone is unrivaled. You make the call, do something new, arrive at decisions out of your comfort zone, and just live life on your terms.

Trust me, there are mental health benefits to it. Yes, being sociable has its fair share of advantages too. But being surrounded by people all the time makes you immune to things. Maybe you’ve been a follower all your life, but having a buddy who has exceptional “leadership qualities” has had you slump into being an extreme follower.

Maybe you think that there’s nothing wrong with that but look at it in hindsight, that’s probably the reason why you haven’t been able to go out and do things alone. It’s scary because you’ve been a “follower” all your life. It’s better to let someone else lead the way, take the initiative, and whatever BS.

This has to stop.

Start traveling the world solo

Reminds me of BLACKPINK Jennie’s ‘SOLO’.

A little out of context but the chorus is so fitting.

You shine when you go solo. And that’s so liberating. The best part? You get to take on solo trips abroad, breaking past the walls of our little red dot. No more waiting for friends to match their annual leave to go on vacation together.

I’ve written an entirely separate post on the magic of solo traveling 3 days ago:

Discover the magic of solo traveling

Click through to read if you’re interested.

You’re welcome.

You only stand to gain from being alone

I’m not going to lie, being alone for the first time (or the first few times) can be quite scary. But after X times, I’m immune to those stares.

I’m not asking you to sever ties with your pals and just be that loner no one wants to talk to. I’m asking you to give it a try if you’re so used to doing things in pairs or groups.

Taking a break from social interactions can be healthy. You know the sort that shoots out negative comments with their ever-toxic mind and mouth? Gossiping can be fun but give it an overdose and you can’t wait to leave that gathering.

And as we’re approaching the end of this post, just know that being alone is not sad or pathetic. It’s your social cells screaming:

“Give me a break, can?”

Doing things alone is not that scary. Or is it? Only you can give yourself an honest response after you’ve tried and tested it. Give yourself an opportunity to break away from being a follower (or a leader) in a group setting, and the need to ponder over other people’s opinions on your decisions. Take the time to please yourself and not go with the flow for once (or twice, or many times) and you will probably not look back ever again.

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Maintaining the dignity of your elderly parents when caring for them is a thing

daughter taking care of elderly mom

I’m not a caregiver, I’ll put it upfront.

At least not for now.

But as a writer well-versed in various topics, I’ve done my fair share of research about the elderly, and one of the main topics that popped up in my mind was dignity.

Oxford Languages defined “dignity” as:

The state or quality of being worthy of honor or respect.

As our parents age and require more care, some of us end up transitioning to primary caregiver roles. If you’ve yet to, have you thought about the issue of dignity? How can we take care of our elderly parents without robbing them of their dignity?

Respectful communication

Folks who’ve been following my articles here on Money Digest for quite a while now, you would have realized that I talk about communication a lot.

Words have meaning and I believe that everything can be solved if people are just willing to communicate (and change, of course).

And so when it comes to maintaining the dignity of your parents, I think it’s crucial not to talk down to them, as if they are kids. Yes, their actions might have turned kiddish, but it’s not like they have chosen to.

And wherever possible, involve your parents in the decision-making process. This will preserve their sense of autonomy, knowing that they have some form of control over what happens in their lives.

Personal boundaries at home
daugher_feeding_elderly_mother

Image Credits: goodrx.com

Primary caregivers usually live with their parents and being 24/7 around them can be quite a pain.

We’re human beings and it’s normal to be stressed out by the responsibilities on our shoulders, more so if we have to juggle between work, dating/marriage, and family.

But just as you require your personal space at times, your elderly parents do too. Yes, I know you may be worried that they might fall while doing things on their own, hurting themselves and causing more “trouble” for you, but this is one thing you should compromise on when it comes to dignity.

And you should also respect their possessions. I’m not talking about hogging here. Hogging stuff is an entirely different issue and can cause hazards so that’s a no-no. I’m referring to their sentimental possessions—maybe old photos, keepsakes, or other valuable items. Always ask before you take. If you have to go through their belongings.

The privacy side of things

I like to put it this way: Do things that you would like others to do to you.

Maybe mom or dad requires some help with daily living, for example, showering. Even if you are their flesh and blood, it’s still hard to be naked in front of one’s adult children.

They are likely to feel embarrassed or uncomfortable with needing help from the children they once could care for. So if need be, leave it to other healthcare providers or see if you can meet halfway with the help of some bathroom remodeling, bath tools, and technology.

Consider nursing/old folks home or care options

Maybe some of you out there think is unfilial to send your parents to a nursing/old folks home.

But I beg to differ.

If your budget allows and you want a better parent-child relationship in the long run (lesser fights), there’s nothing wrong with such an arrangement.

In fact, your parents might enjoy their time there, having activities to look forward to and friends of similar ages to jiak kopi with. Most importantly, the professionals there probably know more than you do.

Or if not, you can consider care options like Homage.

 

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A post shared by Homage (@homagecare)

With various services available, including home care and nursing, you can pay as you go (prices start from $25/hour) or buy a prepaid package (from $220/10 hours).

Full pricing here: homage.sg/pricing

We are all at different life stages and I can’t say for sure that I’m 100% confident in maintaining the dignity of my parents while caring for them in their later years. But one thing is for sure: I would want my future kids/humans to respect me if I am unable to care for myself one day. So put yourself in your parent’s shoes and treat them the way you want to be treated.

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How to Save Money When Travelling on a Cruise

Last March, my husband and I witnessed the wonderful union of his cousin and her long-term beau. When the ceremony ended, they packed their bags and went to a cruise that journeys from Singapore to Penang and Penang to Phuket. A ticket can cost as low as S$415 per person for a 4-night cruise.

I wondered how crucial it was for them to book this trip on time. As newly minted husband and wife, they need to save up money to build a life they dreamed of. What are the strategies that newlyweds, retirees, or young adults can use to save money when booking for a cruise?

#1: TIMING IS CRUCIAL

Tickets may be reduced at the last minute to fill up empty spaces in a ship. However, you could score the best prices when you book early. Booking a year in advance will help you snag the lowest rates and get you on the cruise you specifically desire. It is likely to get you the best prices on the most sought-after staterooms too. So, keep checking in or sign up for price notifications to weigh your options.

#2: SAVE MONEY ON BOOZE

You can save money on booze by researching the cruise ship’s alcoholic beverage policy. While some cruise lines let you bring your own alcohol on board, others forbid it. For cruise lines that allow you to bring your own alcoholic beverage, most put a limit of one bottle per person.

For instance, Royal Caribbean International allows each guest of drinking age to bring one sealed 750 ml bottle of wine or champagne. Guests who bring more than one bottle at the beginning of the first sailing should have documentation to share with the security.

#3: CHARGE ALL YOUR GADGETS

When you are limited to one or two electrical outlets in your room, it can pose a problem to keep all your devices charged throughout the day. Solve this issue by keeping a compact travel adaptor to charge multiple devices at the same time. These adaptors are sold for as low as S$4 online.

#4: SIGN YOUR KIDS UP FOR COMPLIMENTARY ACTIVITIES

Several cruise lines offer kid-friendly activities at no cost. Apart from these kid-friendly activities, cruise lines such as Royal Caribbean offer a youth club called Adventure Ocean program, which is essentially a day care for children whose ages range from 6 months to 12 years old. Multiple programs and games are planned out for your loved ones to enjoy. Programs such as these will allow you and your partner to enjoy quality time together.

Image Credits: unsplash.com

#5: CONSIDER THE TIME OF YEAR

Supply and demand dominate the pricing strategy of cruise lines. Thus, it is more costly to book a cruise during Christmas or Summer break. If you have more flexibility to go with your children or your partner during off-peak season, you can save a lot of money.

#6: JOIN QUIZ NIGHTS

Skip on the souvenirs found in the gift shops and join quiz nights to win exclusive prizes instead. Quiz nights are one of the most underrated things on cruises. Spend your evening answering trivia questions to win prizes that you take home with you. Just secure a spot in advance.

#7: LOYALTY PAYS

Once you’ve experienced the luxuries of a cruise, it’s highly likely that you’ll be hooked. Fortunately for you, most cruise lines offer loyalty schemes, which reward returning guests with upgrades and special packages.

Regent calls its membership scheme the Seven Seas Society, which ranges from Bronze to Commodore. While Princess Cruises’ loyalty program is divided into four tiers namely Gold, Ruby, Platinum, and Elite members. Lastly, Star Cruises offer the Star Cruises Genting Rewards, which are split into five tiers. Join a loyalty program that suits you best.

#8: MAXIMIZE YOUR CREDIT CARD’S POTENTIAL

Some credit card reward programs can be used for booking trips on cruises. You can save using your points or cash out your reward points close to your cruise date. This will help you to reduce the cost of your cruise ticket or to help pay for items on your cruise.

#9: GET SEA SICKNESS REMEDIES FOR FREE

Natural seasickness remedies such as green apples and saltine crackers are typically free on a cruise ship. Many crew members strongly advocate these tried-and-trusted natural remedies. Alternatively, you can simply ask Guest Services or your stateroom attendant for some seasickness medication. Do not hesitate to ask!

Image Credits: unsplash.com

Source: 1,2, & 3

 

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Are you okay with your boss following you on social media?

social media apps

Aha.

A tricky question to tackle on 4.4.

While it’s not uncommon for bosses and employees to become “friends,” or rather, have a friendly relationship outside of working hours, being on social media can be a little…

Ehem.

Up to this point, some of you may be secretly laughing inside since it seems like a no-brainer.

“Aiyo, just don’t post anything you won’t say in front of your boss lah.”

But hey, isn’t that an invasion of privacy? It’s social media after all, and not connected to work. Isn’t it stressful to have to “censor” yourself because your boss is part of your friend/follower list?

Let’s delve deeper into this.

What are the downsides?

Numerous.

Since bosses will be able to see what you “like” and your comments on posts, they may form an opinion of you that may not be part of your “professional reputation.”

And if you’re friends with your colleagues, that’s extra stuff to worry about. But but, we won’t get there for this post. Simply put, life is stressful enough to have to worry about what you post online.

Play around with privacy settings

Not all social media platforms allow you to play around with privacy settings. For example, TikTok and Instagram probably can’t (unless you go private).

But for Facebook, you can limit who sees your posts. I mean, if you have no choice but to accept that friend request from your boss, you’ve got to take some safety measures, isn’t it?

Though it would be a pain in the a** to have to constantly keep this at the back of your mind—being careful with what you share and whom you share it with.

What to do when things don’t go your way

Called in sick and took a day off on Monday but posted that photo of you drunk on Sunday night?

A cliche scenario, but it happens.

If you find that things don’t go away no matter how careful you’ve been on social media, take this chance to disconnect.

And when asked or questioned, just explain that you think it’s better to draw the line between personal and professional.

Is it really a no-no to connect with your boss?

Well, not really.

This is especially for people who don’t have much of a social life. Oops, I’m sorry to be blunt but it’s true.

Or for folks who tend to be on social media to “stalk” or get updates on events, friends, and loved ones.

In such cases, then it’s okay to connect. In fact, you might be on the “winning end” because you will be stalking your boss’ social life instead. Ha!

Jokes aside, I have a few friends who are on social media to showcase their work—designs, and drawings—so there are no danger zones there yeah.

As we close, just know that accepting a request without putting much thought into it may be disadvantageous to you. Ultimately, a boss is a boss and professionalism should come first in the majority of your interactions. Why sabo yourself?

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A student’s guide to navigating student loan repayment

nus graduation ceremony

Congrats on graduating!

Now, it’s time to face the reality of having to pay back your student loan. And on top of the need to secure a job so you can manage your monthly repayments.

Feeling clueless about how to go about handling this? Here’s a simple student guide to navigating student loan repayment so stop worrying and start reading.

Budgeting starts now

If you’re the sort that earns a dollar and then spends a dollar, something’s got to change.

With a student loan waiting for you to repay, you need to start looking into your salary and budget accordingly.

And by budgeting, I mean going into the nitty-gritty details. Whether it’s food costs, phone bills, insurance, transportation, or giving the old folks “pocket money”, pen it down. Be as realistic as possible and then calculate how much you can afford to put towards your student loan repayment.

Tip: You need to scrimp and save for a start, but it’s good not to squeeze yourself dry and risk mental health issues along the way. It may take some trial and error but you will eventually get the hang of things with adjustments here and there.

How to practice financial discipline

There’s no other method when it comes to financial discipline—stick to your budget.

There’s usually a minimum loan repayment amount tag to your student loan. For example, DBS’s (university) study loan’s minimum monthly repayment is $100.

And following 2022’s median salary for fresh uni grads, it’s $4,200.

Yes, $4,200.

Don’t feel bad if your salary is below the median amount. Life happens.

But that’s not the point.

The main point is $100 is an easy amount to repay based on the salary you receive. Surely you can’t be earning less than $1,000 per month as a graduate, right?

If you set aside 10% of your salary, you can pay off way more than the minimum amount. Just make sure you’re comfortable with it.

Every dollar matters. If you find yourself with extra money at the end of the month, make those payments toward repaying your student loan. The interest is no joke and you want to pay back the lump sum as soon as you can.

How to save on interest and pay off faster

I’ve touched on this point a little earlier but what you want to do is to…

Pay more than the minimum.

Even OCBC’s student loan installments start from $100 per month. That’s the bare minimum.

ocbc tuition fee loan

Image Credits: ocbc.com

But if you aim to get this repayment thing over and done with, you need to “tahan” a little at the start and pay more than the minimum.

If your loan has no interest tag to it, good for you. But if it does, the interest is going to quickly add up. So to stop it from snowballing into tens of thousands of dollars, repay more each month.

What if you can’t make payments on time

My question to you is, why?

Based on my brief research on DBS and OCBC’s student loans, the minimum amount to repay is $100, as I’ve mentioned earlier too.

Even if you’re starting as an intern, the market rate should be >$1000. And that’s just 10% of your salary.

But if the problem is not due to your extravagant spending habits but unforeseen circumstances such as medical bills and whatnot, then you should let your guarantor know.

Seek help from friends or family members whom you can borrow money from. Since the minimum is $100, see if you can borrow $600 to $1,200 (6 to 12 months’ worth) to get by. If all else fails, contact your loan servicer to discuss the issue.

We’re already days into Q2 of 2023. Time just passes by like that and as someone who has had the experience of loan repayment, I’ll honestly tell you that the interest rate is insane. So never let it roll. You want to set a clear budget, stick to the repayment amount each month, and repay more if you can. Suffer a little now in your early 20s, and you can do more of what you want after the loan is cleared. Take that!

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