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4 Common Financial Problems In Long-Term Partnerships

Arguments about finances hamper many marriages and professional partnerships. It is no wonder that financial problems are the leading cause of divorce.

A committed couple who suffers from serious monetary problems typically face loads of stress and tension, which often translates to heated quarrels. Prevent a fueled fight by fully disclosing your financial circumstance to your partner. From time to time, check if your financial goals are still in sync.

#1: STUCK IN DEBT

From school loans to gambling addiction, many people come to the altar bearing their financial baggage. If a partner has an outstanding pile of debt and the other does not, this situation can ignite a conflict.

In such situations, people often take solace in knowing that debts are not carried over through the marriage. However, it is understandable to share the responsibilities over childcare and housing debts.

Acknowledging what you are getting yourself into can help you employ various strategies to pay off debt. Both partners must be non-judgmental and honest when discussing about their financial habits and debts. Use several tools and strategies soon after. Seek professional help when necessary.

#2: DIFFERENCES IN MONEY PERSONALITIES

Tension brought by money can be due to the opposing personalities and beliefs of two people. Personality towards money plays an important role in a couple’s marital bliss or lack thereof.

Imagine living in a home with a hoarder when you are a spender yourself. Or, living with someone who is risk-avoidant while you are a risk-taker. These opposing personalities can be mediated by empathy and compassion. Walk in the other person’s shoes to understand where he or she is coming from. Paying attention to your partner’s financial habits before and during matrimony can be beneficial too. Discuss about your financial views and habits to reach a level of understanding.

#3: LEVELS OF COMMITMENT

Whether the spotlight is on a romantic or a professional partnership, the commitment levels of each individual can be an issue. You need to clearly discuss what each partner is looking for. Let us take a business partnership as an example. Partner A wants to keep his full-time job and invest some funds to the business, while Partner B wants to fully dedicate his time and resources towards the business. Can you see the gap between these two?

When it comes to romantic relationships, two people may not be on the same page when it comes to commitment. Partner A wants to start a family, while Partner B is not yet ready. It is important to discuss the commitment levels before it is too late.

#4: DIFFERENCES IN FINANCIAL CONTRIBUTIONS

The nature of partnership is a struggle that many partnerships face. After all, not every partnership is split 50/50. The differences in financial contributions can yield many questions such as how the profits will be divided (i.e., professional partnership) or how clear these financial responsibilities are (i.e., romantic partnership).

These questions must be addressed at the end of the courting period. Thus, both parties will aim to eliminate lingering tensions as they move forward.

Sources: 1 & 2

Financial Responsibilities Of Newly Married Couples

Managing your finances together is one of the most important roles you partake on in a marriage.

Differing views and attitudes towards money can pose issues to a relationship. For instance, you may seem frugal to others and stingy to her. If you both live beyond your means and spend lavishly on each other, you might find yourselves trapped in debt. There is time to change. Planning ahead as a team can help you build a strong foundation for your marriage.

1. GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER

Get to know each other’s financial beliefs and spending habits. Understand where your partner is coming from and adapt if necessary. If your partner is a spender, agree on establishing some limits. If your partner is prudent, agree on the things you would like to prioritize. Make your expectations clear to arrive on the same page.

“The handling of finances is one of the major emotional battlegrounds of any marriage. Lack of finances is seldom the issue. The root of the problem seems to be an unrealistic and immature view of money.” – David Augsburger, The Meaning of Money in Marriage

2. DELEGATING FINANCIAL DUTIES

Assess the differences in your income and money management strengths to determine how to divide the financial duties. Delegate the person who is financially savvier to take the role of managing your family’s investment options. While, the person who is better at budgeting can take charge of managing the household bills. Take advantage of each other’s strengths and fill the gaps in between.

3. PROVIDING SOLELY FOR YOUR FAMILY

For families with a sole breadwinner, it is practical to maintain an adequate emergency fund to withstand unexpected financial woes. Please consider the number of dependents when finalizing the amount of money to be set aside.

Single income couples should consider helping each other in terms of their CPF responsibilities. You can top up your spouse’s CPF account, especially if he or she has low CPF balances. You can transfer your CPF Ordinary Account savings after setting aside the Basic Retirement Sum in your own CPF account.

4. SHARING BANK ACCOUNTS

There is no one size fits all! Your household arrangement depends on your marital assets, income levels, and financial commitments. Think about which expenses you want to keep separate and which you want to share. You open a joint account for their household bills. Set aside a specific amount monthly to grow your joint account together. Meanwhile, you can keep your own individual accounts to fund your own spending.

5. AVOIDING FINANCIAL INFIDELITY

Financial infidelity refers to hiding financial information behind your partner’s back. Failing to mention a significant expenditure to your spouse may cause problems in the long run. Top money lies include under-declaring one’s income or hiding one’s debts. Such dishonesty can diminish the level of trust between a couple.

6. WORKING ON SAME FINANCIAL GOALS

Find a way to work on shared financial goals. Agree on the amount of personal contributions depending on your income. Some of the common themes that most financial goals share are having a budget, living frugally, getting out of debt, and having a good credit score. Do not forget to save for your emergency fund and retirement plans.

Image credits: pixabay.com

You are in this (wild ride) together!

Sources: 1 & 2

Stuck At Home Valentine’s Day Ideas

Romance does not have to fade just because you are at home. Considering the impact of the pandemic and the need to practice social distancing, you have probably struggled to keep your indoor dates exciting. Fret not! There are a myriad of creative date activities that you can enjoy right in the comfort of your own home.

Spend Valentine’s Day with your special someone with these fun ideas.

#1: DO YOGA TOGETHER

Stretch the night away by practicing couples yoga with your partner. Now is the time find your inner Zen. Poses suitable for couples are more intimate and challenging. It is a shared experience focused more on the connection with one another, rather than just yourself.

#2: MAKE DELICIOUS PIZZA

Add spice to your Netflix and chill by making your own pizza. Try different recipes such as baguette pizza and Marinara pizza.

#3: TEST YOUR SINGING ABILITIES

Do you have a favorite love song? Challenge your partner to a melodious night of karaoke. Sing your hearts out by searching karaoke videos on YouTube. Singing some of your favorite tunes is guaranteed to boost your spirit.

#4: TRY A VIRTUAL MUSEUM TOUR

Whether you are a fan of Vincent van Gogh or cultural art, you can find a virtual museum tour for both of your interests. I recommend watching the National Museum of Singapore’s Zoom Into History Video series. It is an insightful look at the artifacts and everyday objects that have defined our nation’s past. You can also watch the virtual tours streamed on the National Gallery of Singapore’s Facebook Live.

#5: CREATE FUN COCKTAILS

Show off your bartending skills in the comfort of your own space by making a cocktail together with your loved one. Make the Love Potion #9. It is made with gin, lemon juice, simple syrup, and pomegranate juice. Enjoy!

#6: START A BOOK CLUB

Encourage your friends to join your book club. Bring your partner along too. Choose a book to read together with the group and then pick an evening to discuss it over wine and cheese on Zoom or Skype.

#7: HAVE A PHOTOSHOOT

Spare a few hours for an at-home photoshoot. Ensure that your pictures have backdrops and decorations that fit your theme. You can have these photos printed and gathered into an album.

#8: SET THEMATIC NIGHTS

Whether you want to indulge on a game or movie night, you can set February 14 as your “best day ever”. You can forgo dinner by turning the lights out and preparing snacks that can boost your movie night experience. If you cannot agree on a movie you both want to watch, consider the first movie you ever watched together. Alternatively, you can play video games. Your partner can either be impressed by your mad skills on screen or will think it is adorable to see you consistently losing.

#9: INDULGE IN A SPA DATE

Drop in your nearest Lush outlet or create your own DIY bath bombs to enjoy a spa date. Have a bath together with bath salts and bath bombs. Afterwards, you can give each other massages with aromatherapy oils. Lastly, you can give your partner a manicure or a pedicure. Complete the experience with matching robes!

Image credits: pixabay.com

Sources: 1 & 2

How To Spend Money Using The 5 Love Languages

Making a conscious effort to speak your partner’s love language allows you to understand each other better and to make him or her feel loved. Dr. Gary Chapman is the renowned author of the “5 Love Languages”. He highlights that there are five ways that we can communicate love namely through: words of affirmation, receiving gifts, quality time, acts of service, or physical touch.

With the continued practice of communicating each other’s love language, a happy and loving relationship will solidify.

WORDS OF AFFIRMATION

People who have “words of affirmation” as their love language value sweet and encouraging words. To them, whispering “I love you” brings more happiness than any expensive give that you can buy. On the other hand, they will feel unappreciated if you do not verbally convey your emotions or if you do not praise them for their accomplishments.

This person will appreciate a handwritten card. A book can be a good choice too. Moreover, you may gift an artwork or a decorative sign with empowering or loving words in it.

RECEIVING GIFTS

For some people, receiving gifts make them feel most appreciated. This does not mean that they are materialistic. They simply love the thought behind every gift. They have special fondness for special occasions such as birthdays, weddings, and anniversaries. Forgetting the special dates and not showing you care can become issues to these people.

If your loved one has this as his or her love language, spend your money on a gift that is important and personal. Buy something that has special significance to your relationship. Also, pay attention to any hints your partner drops.

ACTS OF SERVICE

For many people, actions speak louder than words. To make your partner with this love language feel loved, help him or her with the household chores or with anything that will ease one’s burden. Laziness, broken commitments, and creating more work for them indicates that their feelings do not matter.

Serve your partner by giving a set of “love coupons”. These coupons may contain the following acts: free housecleaning services or free candlelit dinner. Do all the planning and preparing!

QUALITY TIME

For this people, they find the greatest gesture of love in spending undivided attention with the ones they love. It does not matter where you take your partner! What matters most is that you listen actively and you are free from any distractions.

Consider booking a weekend getaway with just the two of you. If it is a family member, go out for a dinner or roam the Botanical Gardens. Make sure you spend an ample amount of time with your loved one. Do not make him or her feel rushed.

PHYSICAL TOUCH

Lastly, people who have physical touch as their love language value appropriate gestures such as holding hands or hugs. If your significant other speaks this language, it is important to appreciate them through your touch. Physical touch fosters a sense of security and care in any relationship. Neglect or abuse can be unforgivable for this people.

Image Credits: unsplash.com

An ideal gift for this person is a massage or manicure. Another option is to book a cuddle session at home while watching Netflix in bed and drinking some hot chocolate.

Sources: 1 & 2

How To Deal With Finances As A Married Couple

A CLOSER LOOK AT YOUR SPENDING HABITS

Getting married marks a significant chapter in one’s life. This new chapter comes with overwhelming changes and unique transitions that go beyond your personal boundaries. You are now planning a life that is beyond taking care of yourself. This huge responsibility comes with financial trials.

Start with being transparent with your partner when it comes to your finances and spending habits. Awareness is the first step. After all, you are responsible of your partner’s well being too. It is your duty to remind each other about making conscious efforts when it comes to money. Many of our spending habits are influenced by marketing traps and mental biases. These hinder us from thinking straight. You are stronger as a team. Keep that in mind.

Let me give you an example of the common traps or biases that both of you can encounter. Firstly, you the status quo bias may consume you. This bias occurs when you are more likely to prefer the product that you know more despite having better options available in the market. For instance, you may prefer an Apple iPhone over a Samsung Galaxy phone due to your familiarity with the iOS software. You simply want to maintain the routine that you have started.

Similar to status quo bias is the familiarity bias. This happens when you favor products or services that you are exposed more of. Start-ups and smaller companies are not able to afford hefty advertising, thus you may skip on the products or services that they offer. When this happens, it is best to help each other out. Purchase appliances or home decorations together. Do you want to purchase a Samsung Inverter or a Kolin Inverter? Be mindful when you are buying an air-conditioned or other items. Do it for reasons that will both benefit you and your spouse.

Lastly, you may fall for the post-purchase rationalization. This is something that most of us experience. Many of us are stubborn to admit that we made a mistake. We would rather settle for what we purchased. We make excuses to convince ourselves that we made the right decision. Please, ask your partner’s opinion. If the quality of the product does not suit your standards, consider returning it within the company’s terms. Retailers often offer 7 to 30 days return policy. Ask for it!

Do not put yourself into harms way. Accomplish big financial decisions as a team and discuss your spending habits with your partner. You are in this ride together!

THE POSSIBILITY OF SHARING A BANK ACCOUNT

As you build a relationship on mutual trust and honesty, it is normal to gravitate towards having a joint account. Trusting your partner with significant decisions, such as choosing your own home, can pave the way for having deeper understanding to each other’s finances. Some couples experience difficulties when it comes to spending habits and financial priorities. This is why some opt to have a joint account, while others do not.

Finding a mutual ground begins with having the same financial goals. Your goals can vary from paying off your household bills or going to an expensive honeymoon. Set up a joint account for financial goals that you both want to accomplish. You may put your household fund here too.

Then, have concrete rules such as how much each of you will contribute each month and where each portion of your funds will go. Consider having individual bank accounts too. These individual accounts will enable you to treat yourselves or your partner without affecting the household fund. To keep things transparent, you may communicate about your spending habits bi-weekly or every month. Stay on track when it comes to each other’s expenses and goals. Help each other out!

Image Credits: Freepik

You may also discuss if you can make cutbacks or if switching banks are necessary. To put it in simpler terms, you are merging two companies when you have a joint account. Everyone has an equal say and contribution to this shared account. So, respect each other’s views and practice compromise to minimize potential disputes.

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