You’re a new parent, and you’re struggling. You’re doing your best to raise your child the way you want to, but your in-laws keep butting in and offering their “help”.
You may feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells, trying not to offend them. This can be incredibly frustrating and stressful. So what can you do?
In this post, we will offer some tips on how to cope when your parenting style is at odds with your in-laws’. We will attempt to help you find a way to stand up for yourself without sacrificing your relationship with your family.
See things from their POV
It can be tough when your parenting style is different from your in-laws’. You might feel like you’re constantly being judged, or like you’re not doing things the right way.
The first thing you need to do is try to see things from their perspective. Remember, they want what’s best for their grandchild, and they might have a different idea of what that means. Try not to take their comments too personally.
Next, talk to them about your beliefs. This can help them understand your point of view, and it might even lead to some productive discussion. Ultimately, try to be understanding. They’re just attempting to help, after all. If you can compromise, it will go a long way in easing any tension between you and your in-laws.
Establish boundaries with your in-laws
It can be tricky to establish boundaries with your in-laws, especially if they’re used to being more involved in your child’s life than you’re comfortable with.
But it’s noteworthy to remember that you’re the parent, and you get to make the decisions about how your child is raised. Try not to get defensive or argue with them—that’s only going to further strain the relationship. Instead, calmly explain why you’ve chosen to parent your child in a certain way and ask them to respect your decision.
If they continue to push their agenda, it might be helpful to have a family meeting so everyone can discuss the situation and come up with a common ground that works. Just remember, it’s okay to disagree politely with your in-laws—you’re not obligated to settle with everything they say!
Have a heart-to-heart talk with your spouse
Before you do anything extreme, have a heart-to-heart talk with your spouse. You must be on the same page when it comes to dealing with your in-laws. Having a firm relationship with your spouse is key when it comes to dealing with tricky family dynamics.
Acknowledge that you have contrasting parenting styles
You’re going to have to come to terms with the fact that you and your in-laws have contrasting parenting styles. It’s not going to be easy, but remember that you’re all trying your best.
Your in-laws might be more hands-on, while you prefer to be more flexible in your child’s life. Or they could be more forgiving than you are, which can cause a lot of tension when you’re teaching your kids about values. But the bottom line is that you need to find a way to peacefully coexist.
Try not to criticize your in-laws’ parenting style, and instead, focus on the things that you do agree on. And when things get heated, take a step back and remind yourself that this is just a phase—it won’t last forever.
It can be tough when your parenting style clashes with your in-laws’, but you’re not alone. Many parents have gone through this, and there are ways to cope. Consider seeking advice from other parents who have been in your position. Chances are, they will be more than happy to share. And finally, keep an open mind. There’s a good chance that your in-laws have something valuable to offer, even if their parenting style is distinct from yours. Try to learn from them, rather than judging them outright.