How to cope when your parenting style is at odds with your in-laws’

a young man settling conflict between mother and wife

You’re a new parent, and you’re struggling. You’re doing your best to raise your child the way you want to, but your in-laws keep butting in and offering their “help”.

You may feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells, trying not to offend them. This can be incredibly frustrating and stressful. So what can you do?

In this post, we will offer some tips on how to cope when your parenting style is at odds with your in-laws’. We will attempt to help you find a way to stand up for yourself without sacrificing your relationship with your family.

See things from their POV

It can be tough when your parenting style is different from your in-laws’. You might feel like you’re constantly being judged, or like you’re not doing things the right way.

The first thing you need to do is try to see things from their perspective. Remember, they want what’s best for their grandchild, and they might have a different idea of what that means. Try not to take their comments too personally.

Next, talk to them about your beliefs. This can help them understand your point of view, and it might even lead to some productive discussion. Ultimately, try to be understanding. They’re just attempting to help, after all. If you can compromise, it will go a long way in easing any tension between you and your in-laws.

Establish boundaries with your in-laws

It can be tricky to establish boundaries with your in-laws, especially if they’re used to being more involved in your child’s life than you’re comfortable with.

But it’s noteworthy to remember that you’re the parent, and you get to make the decisions about how your child is raised. Try not to get defensive or argue with them—that’s only going to further strain the relationship. Instead, calmly explain why you’ve chosen to parent your child in a certain way and ask them to respect your decision.

If they continue to push their agenda, it might be helpful to have a family meeting so everyone can discuss the situation and come up with a common ground that works. Just remember, it’s okay to disagree politely with your in-laws—you’re not obligated to settle with everything they say!

Have a heart-to-heart talk with your spouse
a couple having a conversation

Image Credits: hackspirit.com

Before you do anything extreme, have a heart-to-heart talk with your spouse. You must be on the same page when it comes to dealing with your in-laws. Having a firm relationship with your spouse is key when it comes to dealing with tricky family dynamics.

Acknowledge that you have contrasting parenting styles

You’re going to have to come to terms with the fact that you and your in-laws have contrasting parenting styles. It’s not going to be easy, but remember that you’re all trying your best.

Your in-laws might be more hands-on, while you prefer to be more flexible in your child’s life. Or they could be more forgiving than you are, which can cause a lot of tension when you’re teaching your kids about values. But the bottom line is that you need to find a way to peacefully coexist.

Try not to criticize your in-laws’ parenting style, and instead, focus on the things that you do agree on. And when things get heated, take a step back and remind yourself that this is just a phase—it won’t last forever.

It can be tough when your parenting style clashes with your in-laws’, but you’re not alone. Many parents have gone through this, and there are ways to cope. Consider seeking advice from other parents who have been in your position. Chances are, they will be more than happy to share. And finally, keep an open mind. There’s a good chance that your in-laws have something valuable to offer, even if their parenting style is distinct from yours. Try to learn from them, rather than judging them outright.

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What to do if your partner seems to have no plans to get married

bride and groom holding hands

You’ve been dating your partner for a while now, and things are going great.

But there’s one thing that’s been bothering you… your partner hasn’t brought up the topic of tying the knot. What do you do? Should you bring it up? And if you do, how do you go about it?

Let’s delve into some advice on what to do if your partner seems to have no plans to get married.

Speak to a counselor

If you’re feeling stuck and don’t know what to do, talking to a counselor about your relationship could be a good option. They will be able to offer you some guidance and help you figure out what steps you can take to move forward.

Understand your partner’s reasons

It’s necessary to understand your partner’s reasons for not wanting to get married. Maybe they don’t believe in marriage, or they’re not sure if they want to be with you forever. Whatever the reason may be, it’s important to respect their decision and have an open dialogue about it. If you can’t agree, then it might be time to reconsider your relationship.

Talk to your partner about your desires
a couple sitting on a bench

Image Credits: unsplash.com

You’ve been dating your partner for a while now and things are going at a stable pace. You’re comfortable with each other, you enjoy each other’s company, and you can’t imagine your life without them.

But there’s one thing that’s been nagging at you: your partner doesn’t want to settle. Well, this is a conversation you need to have with your partner, and it’s not going to be easy. You need to be on the same page when it comes to marriage, and if your partner isn’t that keen, then it’s necessary to figure out where that leaves the two of you.

The key is to be open and honest with each other. Talk about your desires and your longings for a future together. Try to see things from your partner’s perspective while you share your own. And most notably, don’t pressure them. This is a decision they need to make for themselves.

Consider if you should stay in the relationship

If your partner still doesn’t want to get married, it’s time for you to have a serious discussion about the destiny of your relationship. Do you want to stay in a partnership that doesn’t have the potential for marriage? It’s alright if the answer is no. You deserve to be with someone who sees marriage as the endpoint, and if that’s not your current partner, then it’s probably time to move on.

As we close, if your partner has told you that they have no plans to get married, it might be time to figure out where you both stand. You need to decide if you’re okay with living your life without tying the knot, or if you want to end the relationship altogether. Marriage is not for everyone, and that’s okay. But if it’s meaningful for you, you need to make sure that your partner is on the same page. Otherwise, you’re just going to look back at those years in regret.

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Should you read to your toddler if they’re not paying attention?

reading a book to a toddler

You’re not sure if you should keep reading to your toddler because it seems they’re not paying attention when you do.

Well, the answer to that question is a little tricky as it depends on why your child isn’t concentrating while you’re reading to them.

If they’re just fidgeting or looking around the room, then it’s probably okay to continue reading but maybe at a slower pace or using a different animated tone. But if your child is displaying other signs of not being interested, like dozing off, then it might be time to find new ways to engage them in reading.

Don’t force your toddler to pay attention to the story

Think about it this way: reading to your toddler is more than just teaching them about letters and words. It’s also about acquainting them with knowledge about communication and relationships. It’s about showing them that you love them and want to spend time with them. So it’s alright if your toddler isn’t paying 100% attention.

It’s normal for toddlers to have a short attention span

It can be frustrating when you read to your toddler and they don’t seem to be paying attention. But don’t worry, it’s not unusual for them to have a short attention span at this age. They’re just starting to develop their cognitive skills, and their brains are working overtime as they learn new things.

So keep reading to them, even if they don’t seem to be listening. The more stories you read to them, the more words they will grasp. And eventually, they will start to pay more attention and enjoy the plots, even more, when words they know start recurring and making sense.

Try different types of books to see what are their interests
a pile of children's story books

Image Credits: unsplash.com

One thing you can do is try different types of books to see what interests your toddler. Maybe they’re more interested in specific-themed books than others. The critical thing is to keep trying new genres and never give up on reading together. It’s a bonding experience you and your child will treasure for years to come.

Reading consistently can help advance their language skills

Even if your toddler doesn’t seem to be concentrating on the stories, they’re still absorbing the language. Studies have found that reading aloud to children helps them develop language skills. And the more stories they hear, the better they do.

So don’t give up on reading to your toddler just because it seems like they’re not listening. The benefits are there, even if they don’t demonstrate it immediately. Keep reading and you will be helping them develop strong foundations that will last a lifetime.

Toddlers learn best through repetition, so reading the same story multiple times can help them remember words and the storyline. Reading also helps stimulate your child’s brain and develops skills such as vocabulary and comprehension. If your child is not interested in sitting down and listening to a story, try reading while they’re moving around. Eventually, they may start to pay attention – and even get excited – when a particular story is being read aloud.

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Can You DIY Your Wedding to Save Money?

When it comes to wedding planning, it is all about knowing your priorities and allocating your money wisely. Making a list of your priorities and setting a budget should be the number one step of wedding planning. Apart from this, here are other ways you can save money.

#1: LEAD YOUR GUESTS TO A WEDDING WEBSITE

When it comes to your wedding invitation, you can save money by directing your guests to your wedding website instead of printing out multiple invitations. You can create free websites through platforms such as Wix and WordPress.

Do not forget essential information such as the welcome party or rehearsal dinner details as well as the transportation and map to your ceremony.

#2: SELECT THE “OFF-PEAK” MONTH

The wedding off-peak season typically runs from November to March. If you want to get the most bang for your buck, you can host your wedding during this period. Considering having a celebration in November or March can help you save money in your venue rental fee. Just ensure that you have a Plan B for inclement weather!

#3: CUT DOWN YOUR GUEST LIST

It goes without saying that a smaller guest list is easier on your budget and sanity. Reducing your guest list from 300 to 150 can be overwhelming, but manageable.

Image Credits: pixabay.com

Intimate ceremonies require less money and less effort. Moreover, you will be able to have quality interactions with the people who mean most to you.

#4: CONDUCT THE ENTIRE WEDDING IN ONE PLACE

Avoid worrying about the coordination/logistics and the extra expense of transportation by having your entire wedding at one venue. Everyone will be on time for your ceremony and reception.

#5: EMBRACE THE ALL-IN-ONE PACKAGE

If you are maximizing your wedding budget, you must keep an eye for the words: “all inclusive”. There are venues that provide all-in-one packages that cover amenities, catering, staff, cake, guest accommodation, host, and more. Bundling all these services in one roof can help you save money and reduce your stress!

#6: ORDER YOUR WEDDING GOWN IN ADVANCE

Ordering your wedding gown at least eight or nine months before the ceremony can help avoid the rushed delivery fees. Last-minute alterations that are costly can also be prevented.

Image Credits: pixabay.com

Sources: 1 & 2

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4 Things to Consider Before Living Near Your Child’s School

Singaporean parents want to provide their children the leverage in life through providing quality education. Some parents are willing to spend their savings to move to a property within proximity of their chosen primary school.

The question remains, is it really worth it to move near your child’s school to increase his or her chances of getting in?

#1: AMENITIES IN SCHOOL ZONES ARE PRICIER

Living near your chosen primary school is convenient for commuting. However, being near the school zone comes with other inconveniences such as noise and traffic in the morning.

Elite primary schools tend to be situated in prime districts. Properties in the prime districts are expensive. For instance, ACS Junior in Newton is surrounded by private properties amounting to S$3-7 million. Apart from shelling out millions, it is not uncommon for supermarkets or MRT stations to be further away from residential areas. In contrast, neighborhood schools are often surrounded by HDB Developments.

#2: PRIORITY ADMISSION IS NOT GUARANTEED

Staying near your chosen school does not immediately guarantee that you will be given the slot, which is why many parents are hoping to improve their chances by participating in volunteer work. If you cannot get into your preferred school and have no alternative options nearby, that means that you could be facing a lock-in period of at least three to five years as part of the home loan agreement.

On the other hand, if you can successfully secure a place for your child due to proximity, you will need to stay at the address for at least thirty months from the start of the registration exercise as required by the Ministry of Education.

#3: SOCIAL SUPPORT CAN BE A FACTOR

Apart from prioritizing quality education, childcare should also be a factor in planting your roots. Do you opt to live near the homes of your parents and in-laws? If so, you will be able to ask for their support after school hours. For instance, your child can go over to his or her grandparents’ home after school.

#4: ASSESSING PROPERTY MARKET PRICE CAN MAXIMIZE PROFIT

If you found a home within a kilometer away from your chosen primary school, you will reap its rentability and value benefits. Many parents would want to rent a flat near their children’s school.

A study done by NUS found that 1.4% and 6.9% price declines of private and HDB homes, respectively, within 1km of a school that relocates. Apart from your proximity to the school, it is essential to assess a property’s size, age, and nearby amenities to ensure a tidy profit once you decide to rent it out or to sell it in the future.

For owners of private properties, you can seek the help of licensed appraisers who are members of the Singapore Institute of Surveyors and Valuers to determine your property’s valuation. While HDB homeowners should not worry about researching the valuation cost as they can get a valuation report on their unit from the HDB office.

Image Credits: unsplash.com

BOTTOMLINE

Choosing where to live is a personal decision. Consider all the factors that will affect your move. Some people are content with being near any primary school, while others feel that getting a good start in life is tied to an elite primary school. The choice is up to you.

Sources: 1 & 2

 

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