5 Marriage-Killing Money Habits

Marriage beats having a partner on a long-term basis. I am no expert on love, but my goal is to make sure that you understand the financial obligations that you each bring to the table. Otherwise, arguments can occur. Arguments about money hamper many marriages. Do not let it happen to you!

#1: FIGHTING OVER WHAT’S MINE AND YOURS

Sometimes, couples split the bills or allocate a fair amount of cash and settle everything in an equitable manner. Each spouse can spend what they have left as they see fit when the bills have been covered. This process of splitting what’s mine from what’s yours can often build resentment. It also divides the spending power, which eliminates the financial value of marriage.

#2: COLLECTING DEBTS

From student loans to credit card bills, many people come to the altar with financial baggage. If one partner has a habit of incurring debt, the other can feel the burden. People in such situations may take some solace in knowing that debts brought into a marriage stay with the person who incurred them.

#3: PLAYING WITH POWER

Power plays occur in many ways such as controlling the allowance of the unemployed spouse and comparing oneself from a spouse who came from money. It is important that both partners cooperate as a team. Joint account offers greater access and transparency, which can aid the unbalanced power dynamic in your marriage.

#4: SPENDING HABITS

Personality can play a crucial role in discussions and habits about money. The age-old conflict between spenders and savers can play out in many ways. Many of us may display more than one of these characteristics at a given time but will typically revert to one main category. Know your spouse’s money personality and discuss your differences openly. Recognize bad spending habits and address them.

#5: LOANING YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS

Do you have a habit of loaning money to your friends and family members? Respecting each other’s goals, needs, and expectations can be especially tricky. For instance, your partner’s mom may need money because of a serious illness, or your sister just gave birth. You need to allocate your travel fund to the medical expenses instead.

Image Credits: pixabay.com

The joys (and sorrows) of having a bigger family often extend to your wallet.

Sources: 1 & 2

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Comparison trap: How to avoid comparing your child with others

upset mum and daughter

It’s hard not to compare our children, especially when we’re constantly bombarded with images of “perfect” kids out there.

But is the comparison fair to our children—or ourselves? We can’t expect them to be exactly like their friends, or even their siblings. So why do we compare them?

There are a lot of reasons why the comparison is harmful to both parents and children. Below, we will explore some of the ways comparison can damage our relationships with our kids.

Why comparison steals joy from parenting

When you’re out and about with your child and you see another parent with a kid that’s a little “better behaved”, it’s natural to compare.

You may not even realize you’re doing it, but if you’re not careful, the comparison trap can steal your joy from parenting. The thing is, every child is unique. They grow and develop at their own pace, and there’s no magic age that makes a child “good.”

Why comparing your child with others is dangerous

You might be tempted to compare your child with other kids at school, or with the neighbor’s toddler who can already speak. But doing this is dangerous, and can have long-term effects on your child’s self-esteem.

Here’s why: when you compare your child to others, you’re telling them that they’re not good enough. You’re implying that someone else is better than them, and that’s a hard thing for a child to hear.

It can make them feel like they’re never going to be good enough, no matter what they do. This can lead to a lot of insecurity and self-doubt in your child, which can stay with them for years to come.

How to focus on the process instead of the outcome
praising a child with a hi-five

Image Credits: raisingchildren.net.au

When you focus on the process instead of the outcome, you’re able to see your child’s development more clearly.

This is because you’re not constantly comparing them to other children and looking for ways to prove that they don’t measure up.

Instead, you’re able to appreciate the small steps that they’re taking and the progress that they’re making. And when you can do this, it’s much easier to enjoy the journey instead of always feeling like you’re coming up short.

So how can you focus on the process instead? One way is to set goals for your child that are based on their age and development level. This way, you’re not comparing them to other children who might be ahead of them.

Another way is to celebrate their accomplishments, no matter how small. This will help you see their progress and appreciate all that they’re doing instead of always focusing on what they haven’t done yet.

Embracing and celebrating individual differences

When you stop comparing your child to others, you make space to celebrate their unique talents and quirks.

You see them for who they are, not who you want them to be. And guess what? When you do that, they blossom.

They become more confident and secure in themselves, and that allows them to take risks and explore the world in their way. So instead of comparing your child to others, take a step back and embrace their differences.

It’s hard not to compare our children to others. We see other children excelling in one area or another and we can’t help but wonder why our child is not as good. We start to question ourselves as parents and wonder what we are doing wrong. But the comparison trap can make our kids feel like they are not good enough and that can lead to low self-esteem. It can also cause them to compare themselves to others, which can lead to envy and resentment. Be proud of your children for who they are and not for what they can do. Encouragement far exceeds criticisms.

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Reclaiming your pre-pregnancy body: Tips to safely lose pregnancy weight

mother doing postnatal yoga with baby

You’ve just welcomed your little one into the world, and now you’re looking to reclaim your pre-pregnancy body.

Losing weight after having a baby can be a challenge, but it’s not impossible. There are lots of conflicting messages out there about how to safely lose pregnancy weight, but we’re here to help.

In this article, we will share some tips on healthily losing weight. So read on, and start planning your strategy for shedding those extra pounds. You can do this!

Make smart dietary choices for post-pregnancy weight loss

This means eating well-balanced meals and controlling your portion sizes.

It’s also good to monitor your calorie intake, so you’re not eating more than you should be.

Another key component of safe weight loss is eating high-fiber foods. Fiber helps keep you feeling full longer, so you’re not tempted to overeat. It also helps your digestive system function properly, preventing constipation and other stomach problems.

Working with a healthcare provider for safe weight loss
talking with a dietician

Image Credits: thisislivingwithcancer.com

You don’t have to do it alone when you’re trying to lose pregnancy weight.

In fact, it’s actually a good idea to work with your dietician to come up with a safe plan.

A professional can help you come up with a calorie goal that’s appropriate for you, and can also offer suggestions on how to safely cut calories.

They can also help monitor your weight loss to make sure that you’re not losing too much, too quickly. Avoid drastic weight loss, as this can be harmful. So take things slow, and remember that healthy weight loss is a gradual process.

Know which exercise options are safe for a start

It’s essential to know which exercises are safe for you to do as you start to lose the baby weight. Some exercises, like crunches, can be dangerous if you’ve had a C-section.

That’s why it’s best to stick to low-impact exercises in the beginning. This includes pelvic tilts, bird dogs, walking, and Kegels. Just be sure to start slowly and work your way up to more strenuous activities as your body allows.

And whatever you do, please don’t try to lose weight too quickly. Remember that your body has just gone through a lot, and you need time to heal both physically and emotionally. Aim for about 30 minutes of exercise per day, and you will start seeing results in no time.

Before we go, we urge you to monitor your progress and stay motivated. Take photos and measurements so you can see the changes in your body over time. It’s also good to set practical goals. Losing too much weight too quickly can be deadly and is often not sustainable in the long term. Finally, remember that this is a journey and there will be ups and downs. Don’t be too hard on yourself if you have a setback—just pick yourself up and keep going!

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Is the time right? Questions to ask yourself when deciding if you’re ready for a baby

newborn baby lying on the bed

You and your partner have been married for a while now, and the topic of children has come up in conversations more than a few times.

You’re both on the same page about wanting kids—eventually—but you’re not quite sure if you’re ready yet. Deciding if you’re ready for a baby is a huge decision, and it’s not one to be taken lightly. There are a lot of factors to consider, both big and small.

Below, we’ve compiled a list of questions to help you make an informed decision.

Are you financially prepared?

One of the most important aspects of readiness is financial preparedness.

Take a good look at your current financial situation and determine if you’re able to handle the added expenses of a child.

This includes having a monthly budget to evaluate your available income, considering an emergency fund, and retirement savings, and how debt repayment will be affected. You should also think about any goal-related expenses you may have, like buying a car.

Are both partners ready to be parents?

Some couples feel a strong desire to be parents, and for them, the answer is easy.

Other couples have to weigh the pros and cons, and sometimes it’s not a clear-cut decision.

Some things to consider: Are you both ready to give up some of your time and freedom to care for a child? Are you prepared to handle the stress of parenting? These are just some of the questions you will need to ask yourselves.

It’s also necessary to talk with your partner about your readiness. Be honest with each other about your feelings and fears. This is a huge decision, and you need to make sure that both of you are on the same page before taking the next step.

What about support networks and help?
grandfather with his grandchild

Image Credits: zerotothree.org

You need a strong support network before you even think about having a child. This includes your parents, in-laws, and siblings if they’re close by, as well as relatives.

If you don’t have a good support network in place, now is the time to build one. This includes finding other couples who are also trying to conceive so you can swap advice and tips, attending parenting workshops, and reading up on everything you need to know about being a parent.

How will a baby fit into your career plans?

If you’re in the early stages of your career, you may be wondering if you can afford to take time off work or if you will have to put your career on hold for a while.

It’s worth finding out your company’s policies on maternity leave and childcare before you make any decisions. Some companies are very understanding and will allow you to take a few months off without having to worry about your job security.

Others might not be so understanding, and you may need to think about whether or not you’re prepared to take a step back in your career to start a family.

What lifestyle and hobbies will need to be adapted for a baby?

Having a baby will require you to make some changes to your lifestyle and hobbies.

For example, if you’re used to going out drinking every weekend, you might have to give that up once you become a parent.

And if you’re an avid traveler, you might have to put your travel plans on hold for a while. That’s not to say you won’t be able to travel with your baby, but it will be more challenging and you will have to plan your trips around your child’s needs.

So before you decide to have a baby, sit down and think about what lifestyle changes you will need to make. If you’re not ready to make those changes, then you might not be ready for parenthood just yet.

So, how do you know if you’re ready for a baby? Ultimately, only you can answer that question. However, asking yourself the questions in this article is a good starting point. If you can honestly say that you have stable financials and a supportive partner, and you’re both on the same page about wanting a child, then you’re likely ready to start trying for a baby. However, if you’re not quite there yet, that’s okay, too. Just make sure you’re honest with yourself and don’t try to have a baby just because you think it’s what you’re supposed to do.

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Raising grateful kids: Tips for teaching your child to receive gifts with gratitude

kid delighted with a Christmas gift

It’s the holidays, and that means one thing: your child is going to be getting a lot of gifts.

From friends and family to teachers and coaches, your child is probably going to be feeling pretty spoiled by the time Christmas morning arrives.

Introducing your child to the idea of gratitude can be a challenge, but it’s worth the time. Below are a few tips for teaching your kid to receive gifts with gratitude.

Talk about and discuss gratitude

Talking about gratitude is a great way to start teaching how to be grateful.

Invite them to share things they’re grateful for, big or small. You can also ask them how they think showing gratitude can make someone’s day better. This will help get your child thinking about gratitude in a positive light.

Another way to help your little one express gratitude is to encourage them to say thank you. Teach them to say it not just when they receive a gift, but also when someone does something nice for them. It’s a small gesture that can make a big difference in someone’s day.

Get creative with thank-you cards

Another way to get your child into the habit of thanking people for gifts is to get creative with thank-you cards.

Why not have your kid create a card or letter that is handwritten and uniquely designed for the person who gave them the gift? This will show them that it’s always nice to put thought and effort into expressing their gratitude.

Not only will this help your child learn how to be more appreciative, but it will also teach them to hone their writing skills and help them develop their literary style. Plus, it’s a fun way to get creative and express themselves through words!

Establishing gifting traditions to encourage appreciation of gifts
child decorating cookies

Image Credits: unsplash.com

One tradition you might want to try is the gift of giving.

Have your child pick out a toy or game they’re no longer interested in and give it to a younger child who will be excited to receive it. This teaches them two things: first, that it feels good to give to others, and second, that not everything they own needs to be kept.

Another tradition you can try is the gift of service.

Have your child do something nice for someone else in your family or community. Maybe they could bake cookies for their grandparents, write a thank-you card to their teacher, or strike up a conversation with the elderly neighbor next door. This teaches kids that there are ways to serve others that don’t involve lots of money or things.

Setting a good example: modeling gracious gift-receiving behavior

When you receive a gift, whether it’s from your friend, spouse, or family member, take a moment to express your appreciation.

You can say something like:

  • “Thank you so much for this lovely sweater. I can’t wait to wear it.”
  • “I’ve been wanting this book for a while. Thank you for thinking of me.”

Your child will be watching your reaction and taking cues from you on how to respond when they receive gifts. So make sure you set a good example!

When it comes to raising grateful kids, start early and be consistent. Explain the concept of gratitude, and model it yourself. You can also suggest writing thank you cards, letting your child experience giving gifts, or encouraging them to volunteer. When you look back, it’s going to be one of the best investments you’ve made in your parenting journey.

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