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8 practical gifts $88 and under for Mother’s Day 2023

Do you know when Mother’s Day is?

I was surprised to see Mother’s Day promotions up and running both offline and online this month so I did a search.

Yup, I forgot about it too.

Anyway, it’s on 14 May 2023, and it’s a Sunday. At the time of writing, we’re less than 3 weeks away.

I’ve yet to decide what to get for the mum but here are 8 practical gifts $88 and under for our consideration.

Prices reflected are accurate at the time of writing.

SEPHORA COLLECTION: Dry Body Oil

Price: $18

I’m not sure about your mum but for mine, I’ve been hearing feedback about dry skin lately. If your mum is also suffering from dry skin, you may want to get this Sephora exclusive body oil for your mama. It comes in these 3 fragrances: argan, monoi, and coconut so you can take your pick. Furthermore, I like how it has zero animal-derived ingredients, which means it’s good if you’re a vegan supporter. Coupled with environmentally friendly packaging, your $18 is sure to be put to good use.

FRESH: Sugar Lychee – Eau De Parfum

Price: from $34

I have no idea why when it comes to the lychee fruit, I think of Singapore. And that’s the reason why I’m highlighting this product for Mother’s Day. If your mum is into scents, consider this fruity fragrance inspired by lychees. With over 30 reviews and a rating of 4.5, I think it has scored pretty well on its report card! Or you can also get FRESH’s Rose Morning – Eau De Parfum, another best-seller at Sephora.

FOODAHOLIC: Misc Mask Sheets

Price: $0.55

Sold over 40,000 pieces with an average rating of 4.9, it says a lot. I’ve personally used this product as a daily mask for a few months and can attest to its moisturizing effects. And at waaay less than a dollar, it’s a steal. There’s also a 5% discount if you purchase any 30 pieces and shipping all the way from Korea is free if you meet the minimum purchase of $15. Mind you, there are 16 types for you to choose from so take your pick and hit that purchase button so you can get your masks ready for Mother’s Day on 14 May.

COSRX: Advanced Snail Peptide Eye Cream

Price: $31.97

As we age, wrinkles start coming after us; there’s no doubt about it. And that’s why my mum’s always on the lookout for anti-aging products. While doing my research, I came across this eye cream that does just that! It apparently helps brighten up the eye area by reducing fine lines and dark circles. The selling point is that although it’s a snail peptide eye cream, no snails are harmed in the process of making this product. So our slow snail friends are doing just fine; be rest assured.

MONKI: Girl Gang Tote Bag

Price: $8.50

For all the hip mums out there, this tote bag is for them. Ha! My mum’s probably going to kill me if I gift this to her but if you have a cool mum who doesn’t mind injecting a little fun into everyday mundane life, by all means, go ahead. There’s also a boobs-like printed tote bag for an alternative consideration.

KATE SPADE: Grocery Tote-Bouquet Toss

Price: $32.95

If you want your mum to shop in style, consider this grocery tote bag from Kate Spade. The pretty florals on an ang-ang all-weather woven polypropylene material make it extra pretty and lucky. There are also 4 open-base pockets inside to section off things. In addition, it comes with a woven logo label so your mum can flaunt her Kate Spade style at the supermarket or while shopping at the mall.

EU YAN SANG: Healthful Treats Hamper

Price: $88

Don’t let your busyness be an excuse for not getting mum anything. Eu Yan Sang has beautifully wrapped hampers with free delivery options (T&Cs apply) so you can drop your mum something without having to be physically there on Mother’s Day. Take for example this Healthful Treats Hamper, which comes with bottles of:

Essence Of Chicken With Goji Berries & Red Dates 70g
Quality Bird’s Nest with Rock Sugar 70g
Premium White Fungus with Bird’s Nest 70g
Euphoria Longana Honey 500g

Folks looking for halal-friendly options can consider Eu Yan Sang’s Halal Delight Hamper instead.

KINOHIMITSU: Superfood Lady Low Fat Nutritious Multigrain Beetroot Beverage

Price: $27.93

As our parents age and live alone, many may not be keeping up with daily nutritious meals. Why not get this multigrain beverage for mum so her body can absorb all the goodness this product offers? Apart from containing beetroot, cranberry, flaxseed oil, and 22 types of fruits and veggie extracts, it’s also high in iron, calcium, vitamin B12, and folic acid. Best of all, it’s free of trans fats and cholesterol. Here’s another alternative: KINOHIMITSU Superfood⁺ (Healthy) for you.

And there we have it, a curated list of 8 practical gifts $88 and under that you can ponder purchasing for the first and very important woman in your life. Or if you’re not a fan of gift-giving, then consider bringing mum out for a meal. Take the opportunity to catch up on life, and have a wonderful bonding session together! 🙂

Communicating your desire to return to work after childbirth

Congratulations on giving birth and finishing your postpartum confinement.

If you’ve been a “career woman” all your life, you may be eager to get back to work after your 30-day confinement period.

So here comes the question:

Should you feel guilty about leaving your baby in the hands of a helper or not?

Well, I don’t think you should be because there’s nothing wrong with wanting to go back to work.

But, if you’ve never had a proper conversation with your spouse about the decision, it might pose a little conflict there.

It’s not always about financial issues

While having a single-income arrangement can put a strain on family finances, I think it’s not always about the money.

Let’s say your spouse has a decent-paying job and can support the family without you working, should you then make the “sacrifice” to stay home and take care of the baby?

Call me selfish but I won’t do it.

Yes, kids grow up fast and I may potentially miss the key moments of their growth if I’m a full-time working parent.

But, I didn’t come this far in my career to give up just because of family commitments.

So here comes the issue: talking to your spouse about it.

Share why returning to work matters to you

My reason to return to work after childbirth may differ from yours but ultimately, you want your partner to understand your stance.

Maybe you have big plans to upgrade from an HDB to a private property.

Image Credits: edgeprop.sg

Or perhaps you’re an extreme extrovert that thrives on being outdoors and having a work routine to look forward to.

Whatever the case, share why returning to work matters to you and come to a compromise if necessary.

Key considerations to have during the planning stage

There are inevitably many things to talk about but here are two I think should be settled:

Analyze your finances

Let’s say your husband’s income is satisfactory if you stay home to look after the baby 24/7. But if you decide to find a job, this means you will need someone to watch the baby.

Whether it’s leaving your little one to their ah gong/ah ma, considering half/full-day infant care, or hiring a full-time helper, that will mean some additional expenses every month.

Sit down and analyze your personal and family finances together, and see how to work things around.

Splitting the childcare responsibility

You’re only going to tire yourself if you parent alone. And you shouldn’t, anyway.

The baby belongs to you and your partner, and since you’re also heading out to work, then core childcare responsibilities should be laid out and split.

It’s impossible to spilt right down the middle but the main idea is to share the burden.

For instance, who’s going to drop off/pick up the baby after infant care hours, and how many “time-offs” does one get in a month (social life stuff)?

Seek parenting advice from others who’re on the same journey

You’re never alone.

Cliche but it’s true.

There are many people out there on the same journey as you are and I believe you will gain a lot from listening to the stories of others.

I found this active, private Facebook group called Stork’s Nest Singapore that has been around for more than a decade with over 14K members:

Their posts are centered on babies/children/family/full-time helpers so I think it would be of great relevance to you.

As we close, I just want you to know that there’s nothing wrong with wanting to head back to the workplace. Gender-dictated roles have come so far and what our parents have gone through doesn’t have to dictate our future footsteps. It’s your life ultimately so whether you choose to be a “career woman” or a full-time mom, no one should have the right to point a finger at you and tell you what you should or shouldn’t do.

Maintaining the dignity of your elderly parents when caring for them is a thing

I’m not a caregiver, I’ll put it upfront.

At least not for now.

But as a writer well-versed in various topics, I’ve done my fair share of research about the elderly, and one of the main topics that popped up in my mind was dignity.

Oxford Languages defined “dignity” as:

The state or quality of being worthy of honor or respect.

As our parents age and require more care, some of us end up transitioning to primary caregiver roles. If you’ve yet to, have you thought about the issue of dignity? How can we take care of our elderly parents without robbing them of their dignity?

Respectful communication

Folks who’ve been following my articles here on Money Digest for quite a while now, you would have realized that I talk about communication a lot.

Words have meaning and I believe that everything can be solved if people are just willing to communicate (and change, of course).

And so when it comes to maintaining the dignity of your parents, I think it’s crucial not to talk down to them, as if they are kids. Yes, their actions might have turned kiddish, but it’s not like they have chosen to.

And wherever possible, involve your parents in the decision-making process. This will preserve their sense of autonomy, knowing that they have some form of control over what happens in their lives.

Personal boundaries at home

Image Credits: goodrx.com

Primary caregivers usually live with their parents and being 24/7 around them can be quite a pain.

We’re human beings and it’s normal to be stressed out by the responsibilities on our shoulders, more so if we have to juggle between work, dating/marriage, and family.

But just as you require your personal space at times, your elderly parents do too. Yes, I know you may be worried that they might fall while doing things on their own, hurting themselves and causing more “trouble” for you, but this is one thing you should compromise on when it comes to dignity.

And you should also respect their possessions. I’m not talking about hogging here. Hogging stuff is an entirely different issue and can cause hazards so that’s a no-no. I’m referring to their sentimental possessions—maybe old photos, keepsakes, or other valuable items. Always ask before you take. If you have to go through their belongings.

The privacy side of things

I like to put it this way: Do things that you would like others to do to you.

Maybe mom or dad requires some help with daily living, for example, showering. Even if you are their flesh and blood, it’s still hard to be naked in front of one’s adult children.

They are likely to feel embarrassed or uncomfortable with needing help from the children they once could care for. So if need be, leave it to other healthcare providers or see if you can meet halfway with the help of some bathroom remodeling, bath tools, and technology.

Consider nursing/old folks home or care options

Maybe some of you out there think is unfilial to send your parents to a nursing/old folks home.

But I beg to differ.

If your budget allows and you want a better parent-child relationship in the long run (lesser fights), there’s nothing wrong with such an arrangement.

In fact, your parents might enjoy their time there, having activities to look forward to and friends of similar ages to jiak kopi with. Most importantly, the professionals there probably know more than you do.

Or if not, you can consider care options like Homage.

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With various services available, including home care and nursing, you can pay as you go (prices start from $25/hour) or buy a prepaid package (from $220/10 hours).

Full pricing here: homage.sg/pricing

We are all at different life stages and I can’t say for sure that I’m 100% confident in maintaining the dignity of my parents while caring for them in their later years. But one thing is for sure: I would want my future kids/humans to respect me if I am unable to care for myself one day. So put yourself in your parent’s shoes and treat them the way you want to be treated.

6 Telltale Signs that You Aren’t Financially Ready to Get Married

Two of the most sought-after life goals are love and money. Research supports that married couples build more wealth over their lifetime compared to those who remain single. When two people decide to spend their lives together, it is important to get to know each other’s perspective as a robust financial team.

You can be 38 and still be unprepared to settle down. Or you can be in a six-year relationship with someone you are madly in love with, but you are not ready to get married.

Regardless of the age you plan to marry, discussing your financial goals as a couple is an essential part of the conversation on your shared life goals.

On that note, here are some telltale signs that you are not financially ready to settle down.

#1: YOU’RE IN A ROUGH PATCH

A wedding would not pay for itself, so you and your partner need to save up for it. You also need to financially prepare for your life after the wedding. Household and childcare expenses will increase over time. Expenses include tuition fees, medical expenses, home loans, retirement fund, and so on.

If you are not financially ready to get married, it’s best to put all the wedding plans on hold for the time being.

#2: YOU HAVEN’T TACKLED YOUR LIVING SITUATION

For most couples, investing in a home is one of the biggest purchases they have to make. It requires careful planning and countless discussions. You need to discuss your living situation as a couple, before getting married.

Are you buying a new or resale HDB flat? Are you financing your HDB flat with an HDB loan or bank loan? How much are you going to shell out from your savings in your CPF Ordinary Account?

Keep in mind that the more money you get from your CPF savings to finance your property, the less you may have for retirement in the future. Furthermore, you must be insured under the Home Protection Scheme (HPS) if you are using your CPF savings to pay for your monthly housing loan installments.

#3: YOUR WEDDING BUDGET CONSTANTLY CHANGES

Many couples deal with unforeseen wedding expenses during wedding plans and on the day itself. If you notice that your wedding budget changes constantly, it could be a sign that you haven’t fully thought about what you can pay for.

Sit down with your partner to discuss your wedding budget and provide an ample buffer for unexpected fees. You do not need to actualize all the wedding ideas you have pinned in your Pinterest account. Instead, you need to be realistic when it comes to knowing what you want and what you can afford.

#4: YOU HAVEN’T PLANNED FOR YOUR POST-WEDDING EXPENSES

What happens when you return home from your honeymoon? Will you face rent payments, home loans, or student loans head-on? Think about how you will be able to manage the post-wedding expenses.

Not thinking about these post-wedding expenses or not saving up for your future can bring you stress during your first year/s as a married couple.

#5: YOU HAVE TRUST ISSUES

When it comes to finances, do you have problems in trusting your partner? Take it as a sign that you are not ready for marriage.

There may be a deep-rooted cause for your trust issues, but getting married will not resolve the problem. Help yourself overcome these issues first so you can truly have an open and trusting relationship with each other. You can seek professional help when necessary.

#6: YOUR CREDIT HISTORY IS TAINTED

While you may end up sharing just about everything after getting married, your credit history and credit scores remain separate in the eyes of the financial institutions. However, this can affect your relationship significantly.

It is important to be transparent about your credit score and credit history before settling down. While you may sympathize with your partner’s unpleasant financial situation and offer to help, realize that you may be in for more challenges if outstanding debts begin to suffocate your finances.

Image Credits: unsplash.com

If you see beaming red flags that you are not ready for marriage, then do not get married. Getting married is more than just signing a piece of paper. It’s a life-changing event that you must prepare for physically, mentally, and financially.

Before settling down, you need to plan all aspects of your life including your finances. Drastic changes in your finances will happen from the day you get married. You will need to make a lot of financial decisions together, so learn how to compromise and work as a team.

Sources: 1 ,2,3,4,& 5

Reaching mutual satisfaction through syncing up your sexual desires

You want it. They don’t want it. You’re frustrated. They’re frustrated. What do you do?

In any healthy relationship, both partners should be on the same page when it comes to sex. Unfortunately, that’s not always the case.

Maybe you’re the one who always wants sex, while your partner is only interested once in a blue moon. Or maybe your partner has a higher sex drive than you do and you’re not always in the mood.

No matter which side of the equation you find yourself on, here’s how to reach mutual satisfaction in your sexual relationship.

Prioritizing communication and self-care

When it comes to sex, communicate.

And that means talking to your partner about what you want, what you don’t want, and what you’re comfortable with. It’s not always easy to have these conversations, but they’re essential for ensuring mutual satisfaction.

In addition to communication, it’s good to prioritize self-care. That means making time for yourself, whether it’s through exercise, meditation or just taking some time for yourself. When you’re feeling good about yourself, it’s easier to feel good about your sexual relationship, too.

Making compromises for mutual satisfaction

For both partners to be content in a sexual relationship, it’s necessary to find a way to sync up your desires.

This means making compromises to meet in the middle. You might have to go without sex for a while if your partner isn’t feeling it, but you can also negotiate a frequency that works for both of you.

It’s also good to understand the natural ebbs and flows of desire. Just because your partner isn’t in the mood one day doesn’t mean they won’t be the next. Be patient and keep an open dialog so that each person knows what the other wants. This way, there’s never any confusion or disappointment on either side.

Recognizing the sexual desires of each partner

Image Credits: unsplash.com

One way to make sure you’re always on the same page is to keep track of your partner’s sexual desires.

This can be done by communicating with each other frequently, whether that’s through talking about what’s going on between you hormonally or sharing any concerns you have.

It can also be helpful to keep a “sexual wish list” for each other, where you both write down things you’d like to try in bed. This way, there’s no pressure to perform on the spot and you can both look forward to trying new things together.

Or, if you’re feeling bold, you can even schedule sex dates into your calendars so that you know there will be time for intimacy even when life gets busy. The crucial thing is that you make an effort to connect on a sexual level, even if it means compromising on frequency.

Being aware and mindful of each other’s boundaries

Part of the reason why people have such a difficult time syncing up their sexual desires is that they’re not aware of each other’s boundaries. And when we say “boundaries,” we’re talking about things like wants, needs, thoughts, and feelings.

You might be thinking, “Well, of course, I’m aware of my partner’s boundaries. I would never do anything to violate them.” But even if you would never intentionally violate someone’s boundaries, it can still happen if you’re not mindful of them.

For example, let’s say you’re in the mood for sex, but your partner isn’t. If you try to pressure them into it or make them feel bad for not wanting it, that’s a violation of their boundary. Even if you don’t mean to, you’re making them feel like their wants and needs aren’t as important as yours.

The key to avoiding boundary violations is communication. If you’re not sure what your partner’s boundaries are, ask them. And if you accidentally violate a boundary, apologize and try to make things right.

So, how can you and your partner make sure that you’re both always sexually satisfied? The answer is to sync up your desires. Of course, this isn’t always easy—everyone’s different, and what turns one person on may not turn another person on. However, there are a few things you can do to make sure that you’re both on the same page, including talking about your desires, being open to trying new things, and being patient with one another. With some effort, you can create a sexual relationship that’s satisfying for both you and your partner.