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How to deal with a micromanager professionally

Micromanagement is such a pain in the arse. At a point in our careers, we might have been faced with a micromanager some time, somewhere. But many out there may not even know that they are being micromanaged.

So what are the common signs of micromanagement? Here are eight common ones from such bosses:

Little or no work delegation
Always asking you for updates
Show a reluctance in mentoring
Finding fault in everything you do
Famous for one-way conversations
Sole decision-maker even for the littlest of tasks
Like to focus on the small details but miss out on the big picture
Delay project deadlines because everything requires their “yes”

If you suspect that you’re whirled up in such a situation and it’s taking a toll on you, act on it before you explode.

Here are some ways to deal with a micromanager (or colleague) tactfully. Fictitious names included!

#1: Have an honest heart-to-heart talk

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As a micromanaging superior, Peter might not be very welcoming of criticisms. Be sensitive when dealing with this. When we say to have an honest heart-to-heart talk, we mean a candid but specific conversation.

Bill Gardner, founder and managing partner of Noetic Outcomes Consulting, suggests this with over 40 years of experience coaching executives. You want to describe your feelings when Peter’s behaviours directed at you make you feel X, Y, and Z. Then, go ahead and list some specific actions you hope to see going forward.

Now, some of you must be thinking this is impossible. As Asians, we may not like to confront head-on. But grow some guts, and you never know positive outcomes could snowball out of your truthfulness.

#2: Be direct with your requests

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During your conversation with a micromanaging boss, you want to be direct with your requests. Ask Sally what you can do better to address her needs. Even if she responds with a “but you’re already doing well”, don’t stop there.

Share with Sally your intention of improving collaboration with her. If you’re the sort that requires time and space to prove your work capabilities, let Sally know.

Instead of her chasing you for updates as and when she pleases, take the initiative by scheduling weekly check-ins. This can become your silent way of saying, “Please stop checking in for information outside of our scheduled meetings.”

#3: Ask questions to understand their point of view

an asian woman asking questions at a business meeting

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When you’re pulled into a project meeting, don’t just let John do the talking and then complain about him during lunch hours. To attempt to make your life a little better, you want to understand your manager’s perspective.

To do so, ask questions.

Katharina Schmidt from the Forbes Coaches Council shares that these questions might guide you towards a better working relationship:

What are your deal breakers?
What are your success hypotheses?
What are your key objectives for this initiative?
How, and how often, do you want to be informed?

#4: Focus on behaviour and impact

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When having any conversations with Zelia, you want to avoid the “m” word – that is, “micromanaging”. What you can do is to focus on the behaviour and impact it has on you.

For example, Zelia’s need for constant updates on your progress is one such behaviour that has impacted you. Let her know that these updates are taking extra time off your productivity and attention on your urgent projects at hand.

See if both of you can negotiate an alternative solution to that. Maybe setting a fixed time for updates can help you better manage your working hours?

Don’t be afraid to offer new ideas.

#5: Identify your superior’s end goal

Two young businessmen discussing new project

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Conflicts often arise when two people are not on the same page. To stand on the same ground as Raju, you want to align with his end goal. April Armstrong, CEO of AHA Insight, notes the power of the “then what” question.

Ponder over these:

After I complete this assignment, what happens next?
If this were to be a big success, what would the ideal outcome be?

When your destinations are in line, Raju may see you in a different light. It can also prompt him to release his grip on his control over you and your teammates.

#6: Keep your eye on the curveballs and overdeliver

asian woman drinking coffee while working in a cafe

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For folks currently facing your first micromanager in your job, the whole experience can be daunting. But don’t waddle in the toxicity and put yourself at risk of being sour over it.

Understand that micromanagement is often a result of these two reasons:

The fear of being disconnected leads Carrie to find out as much as she can through countless updates like reports, meetings, and one-on-one conversations.
Carrie finds it difficult to transit from a position of doing to a trusting and coaching managerial position.

Jill Hauwiller, the founder, principal consultant, and lead executive coach at Leadership Refinery urges us to find out what our manager values and wants. Anticipate the unexpected and overdeliver on your promises.

This is because even if you can’t change their micromanaging behaviour at the end of the day, you have your great results to back you up. Your successful work output is something no one can take away from you.

Put on a little smile

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Remember our recent article on “Strategies on how to cope with someone you dislike at work”? When working with people you find difficult working with, communicating your points across calmy without being defensive is essential.

Jeff Altman, a career coach from The Big Game Hunter, said that smiles and laughter often go a long way toward making a point with people. So put on that big, friendly smile before you enter into any discussion with a micromanager.

Career and people skills take time and deliberate effort to develop. Don’t quit your job on impulse.

Powerful messages from ‘The White Tiger’ we can apply in real life

Honestly speaking, while ‘The White Tiger’ has ranked its way on top 10 of Netflix’s film list… I’m not a fervent fan of it. But that’s just my personal opinion.

On one side, we’re happy that Balram broke free from his master and saw the light at the end of his tunnel. But on the other hand, we can’t seem to condone his behaviour and the choices he made.

With that said, though we’re sitting on the fence on this 2021 film that’s currently showing on Netflix, there are powerful messages to learn and apply in real life from ‘The White Tiger’.

Here’s our take on it.

#1: Poverty should not be a hindrance to one’s success

Just a few minutes into the opening, ‘The White Tiger’ opens with a weighty message. That is, “Any poor boy in any forgotten village can grow up to become the prime minister of India.” Yes, poverty sucks big time, but not being rich should not be a barrier to one’s hope and dream for success.

#2: Tap onto every opportunity to listen and learn

Balram shared that he had learned to use his time wisely to eavesdrop on customers, hoping to gain an opportunity. While eavesdropping isn’t that polite, it doesn’t hurt to tap on opportunities to listen from your neighbours and gain some insights. You never know when an opportunity will present itself.

#3: Upskill for better prospects

Balram could have settled contentedly with his brother in the poor village. But instead, his target for better prospects led him to the desire for upskilling. Instead of saying, “I can’t drive so this job is not for me,” he asked his granny for 300 rupees (S$5.47) to go for driving lessons with aims to secure a better paying job.

#4: Eat or be eaten up

Isn’t this just so true about life in general? Whether it’s in relationships or the economy, there are only two destinies. You either eat to your fill and prosper to greater heights or get eaten up by your co-workers who step on you to rise to the top. You hold the power to write your fate!

#5: Know your competition

When we say know your competition, we mean to be well aware of it. Especially to those thinking of starting their own business or entrepreneurs who are at an early stage running their start-up, this is some wise advice you ought to take. Being up to date with what’s happening within your industry can steer your business strategy towards success.

#6: Women should speak up for themselves

We know it’s the 21st century, but women still face discrimination in certain countries and cultures. Ladies, if a man ever tells you that you belong at home and have no place in a man’s discussion, speak up. There is no way you should let a person belittle you like that.

#7: Don’t underestimate the weight of kind words

Do you remember the first time or a situation where you were desperate for some kind words? “You’ll figure it out. Don’t worry,” was what Ashok told Balram in ‘The White Tiger’. This was after Mukesh slapped Balram on the head after he missed the exit. Don’t underestimate these simple words to a friend or colleague. You might touch them in unexpected ways beyond your imagination.

#8: You don’t always need a start-up business plan

It’s common for start-ups to come up with a business plan. Well, it helps to have a clear vision for the way forward and a written document to follow if there are hurdles along the way. But do you know that it’s not always necessary? Instead of wasting time on a start-up business plan, you want to do these five things instead.

#9: Spend some time in reflection

Reflections are not only for the end of the year. It doesn’t harm anyone to do a review at any point in their lives. Asking yourself questions such as “What is it that I want to do?” can direct you to a decision you might not have thought about it before. Is it a business idea you’ve been putting on hold for some time? Or a new field you’re looking to enter? Take actionable steps to achieve it in 2021.

#10: Stop searching for the key when the door is open

Balram thought he heard Pinky said to him, “You were looking for the key for years, but the door was always open.” Putting this in life’s context, do you find yourself searching for the key to open a particular door? While being stuck in this tiresome rat race, maybe you already hold the ability to unlock new opportunities. The question is, are you allowing yourself to?

#11: The early bird catches the worm

We bet all Chinese-educated peeps have heard of the phrase, “早起的鸟儿有虫吃”. When translated to English, it simply refers to how the early bird catches the worm for food. To put it in another way, it benefits one to be early in grabbing onto a chance when others are still deep in their slumber. So are you the former or the latter?

#12: Beware of yielding to temptation

When temptation knocks at the door, learn to walk away. A little moment of interest in that “red bag” will grow into an idea, and that action of folly will lead to possible regrets down the road. You will start justifying your actions as right and look for ways to continue indulging in that little secret you want to hide from the world.

Final Thoughts

We think young people should watch ‘The White Tiger’ with discernment. Robbing someone to break away from poverty and gaining monetary freedom is not morally right.

We shan’t spoil it any further for those who’ve yet to watch the film but have read up till this point. Let us know your thoughts on the ending after you’re done with your two hours?

Strategies on how to cope with someone you dislike at work

There’s always an Anson, Betty, or Christopher in the workplace. We’re sorry if those are your names, but we have no ill intentions. They are just some named references we will be using for the sake of this article.

Now, back to the topic.

It’s Tuesday, and you’re dragging your feet to work after barely getting over Monday blues. As the elevator door closes, you secretly wish that you won’t meet Delia on the way up to the 13th floor. But… we’re all aware that life’s a bitch and things don’t go our way when we expect it to.

“Oh, hi, Eric!” Delia shrieked. It was only 8.25am.

Delia went on and on about her last evening date with her boyfriend, gossips, and eavesdrops from the passengers she saw on the bus. “Another day with her,” you thought. It’s only the start of the day, but you already hate her so much, and everything just gets on your nerves.

We’ve all met that one colleague at a point in our careers, right? Have you found a way to work around it? If no, see if these tips can help you change your perspective in working with someone you can’t stand at the workplace.

#1: Admit that it’s your problem

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Never thought we would hit a home run by pointing fingers at you right from the start? This is not an attack, peeps.

Carlos Valdes-Dapena, author of Virtual Teams: Holding the Center When You Can’t Meet Face-to-Face, shares this with us. The reason why you’re finding Delia distasteful in some way is due to the judgments and reactions you possess.

Yeah, sounds about right. Feelings of a slight irritation can quickly escalate if not kept in check. He also highlights the need to differentiate between dislike and distrust. “You can work with anybody as long as they aren’t crossing boundaries or violating workplace rules,” says Valdes-Dapena.

#2: Rethink your detestation

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Once you assume responsibility that your emotions are what led you to loathe Anson, then it’s time to rethink your detestation. Maybe it’s a specific behaviour that triggered your dislike? Or the way they treat others? It could also be that he is an excessive bootlicker.

Whatever the reason might be, you want to dig deep into your feelings of disgust. Valdes-Dapena reveals that he used to have a colleague he didn’t like and he later discovered it was because of how the lady tended to boast.

“Once I got underneath it, I realized that part of my feelings (was) jealousy because she had done some pretty impressive stuff,” he commented.

The person you disfavour is likely to be someone who’s on the extreme opposite end if placed on a character spectrum. Polar opposites, some like to call it. But you must learn how to separate your personal feelings from the workplace. If Anson does his work well, then you’ve got to give him the credit where credit’s due.

#3: Craft a purpose statement

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So you just got out of a department meeting, and your team leader has assigned you and Betty a project. What? Working with someone you like the least is not an easy task. That’s why Valdes-Dapena notes that this is where a purpose statement comes useful.

“A purpose statement helps you build an alliance around a shared purpose. It doesn’t mean you have to be friends. It helps you get back to the purpose of the collaboration so you can focus on doing the work.”

Very well said, indeed. Instead of focusing on those negative feelings, having a goal will help put you back on the work treadmill. Here’s your chance to show that you can function as a team player and won’t let personal emotions sabotage your workplace professionalism.

#4: Draw up a plan

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So at this point, can we safely assume that you will craft a purpose statement? If yes, we’re genuinely glad for you! But don’t exit this article just yet. As a small incident can spark negative feelings fairly quickly, you want to draw up a plan to fall back on when it happens.

“Sit down and have (a) conversation,” says Valdes-Dapena. It’s going to be a duo project with Christopher, and you want to make sure that your targets are aligned. It may also help to share your shortcomings and present an invitation for Christopher to share his. The discourse can humanise Christopher and encourage you to refashion any prejudices against him.

If it helps, share your purpose statement and plan with a trusted coworker or your team leader to have accountability for your actions. Every single time you feel the dislike arising, refer to your goals. It also won’t hurt to set aside time for self-reflection if you need space to process your feelings.

It’s a tough challenge but pull through it, and you might surprise yourself with an achievable productive work relationship!

#5: Communicate calmly

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More often than not, unhappiness accelerates due to our communication styles. Putting work relationships aside, this is true in any social situation. Even at home, your parents shouting at you or each another can instantly put you in a bad mood.

What you want to do is to communicate calmly when a conflict presents itself. Instead of saying “Can you stop doing that? It’s irritating!” try using “I” in your confrontations. For example, “I feel annoyed when you do this, so could you please do this instead.” Being specific is also a chance for you to evaluate the underlying reason for your irritation at the other party.

According to psychologist Dr Susan Krauss, it could be wise to have a third-party function as a mediator in such discussions. That’s because as an “outsider”, they can bring some objectivity to your case.

Take a chance

The bottom line is that you don’t have to be friends to work with someone. What you need is a way to communicate your points across without being defensive.

Working with people you find difficult is not easy for sure. But if you manage to leap over the hurdle, you would be oh-so-proud of yourself! Take it as a step to graceful maturity regardless of your age.

3 strategies for creating less stressful brainstorm sessions from ex-vice president of innovation and creation at The Walt Disney Company

It’s the first mid-week of 2021. Have you had an awesome start to the first work week of the new year? Or did you just receive a calendar invite titled “brainstorm” from your team leader?

A look at this term can bring about nervousness for some individuals. Especially for those who have been through uncountable brainstorms that have not ended up productive, it’s easy to assume that the next brainstorm will conclude with negligible outcomes.

A great brainstorm needs a strong basis to succeed, much like building a home.

“During my tenure as head of creativity and innovation at Disney, I conducted countless brainstorms. As a result, I developed a series of tools that I now use working with my clients to ensure every brainstorming session I facilitate ends with a handful of truly innovative ideas, which are achievable and your team can eventually execute,” writes Duncan Wardle.

Wardle is the founder of creative consulting company iD8 & innov8 and ex-vice president of innovation and creation at The Walt Disney Company. Let’s learn three strategies for creating less stressful brainstorm sessions from the man himself.

#1: Help your team get into the right state of mind

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Ponder over the word “brainstorm.” To others, with a few ideas jotted on a whiteboard, this may invoke the idea of inefficient and disorganised discussions. It doesn’t signal the right state of mind, which means you’re unlikely to receive the best ideas from your team.

Your actions show your co-workers how to respond in return. You want to trigger a new way of thought by not entitling it as a brainstorm. By modifying your brainstorming session’s name, you can dramatically shift the thought patterns of the people involved before you even begin.

“I ran with this concept while at Disney, where I developed the “ID8” (or “ideate”) room, which later became the name of my company. Everyone stepping foot into the ID8 room knew that they were attending an “expansionist” session, which meant that the meeting was meant to generate and grow ideas,” Wardle shared.

#2: Foster brilliant ideas with the force of “Yes, and…”

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Have you ever met a negative person so much so that the person’s response is always “No, because..”? Such reactions take large thoughts and render them lightweight, ultimately making them meaningless.

But flip it to “yes”, and perhaps it will take you to places. By reacting to suggestions using an open-minded approach, you demonstrate that you listen and prohibits joint discussions from crashing due to a lack of traction.

#3: Your golden key – a “naive expert” out of your department

woman having discussion with her colleagues

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When Wardle was heading brainstorms at Shanghai’s Disneyland for restaurant architecture designs, he searched for a way to inspire his team of Disney Imagineers (mostly males over 50 years old) to begin thinking creatively.

“So, I invited a young Chinese female chef to participate in a session as our “naive expert,” or in other words, an outside individual whose criteria for success were not tied to our team,” he noted.

An ideal “naive expert” is one who has no direct involvement and prior work experience in your department. Thus, such individuals are more likely to pose concerns and suggestions that your squad has never contemplated.

In the wake of the pandemic, we may not often be gathering for in-person discussions and brainstorms. But it shouldn’t be an excuse to hold you back from conducting fruitful sessions! Tap on digital platforms to create an online environment that promotes positive involvement, interaction, and teamwork to develop fresh ideas.

Good luck!

A psychologist reveals 4 key ways you can use to embrace critical feedback

Critical feedback can be daunting for some. Since we’re talking about criticisms here, it’s easy to get defensive over it. But take a more profound examination, and you will probably agree that constructive feedback is the ‘true friend’ that identifies the gaps between who you are and the improved version of who you want to be.

Dr Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic, a psychologist, author, and entrepreneur, points this out as a paradox. He shares that most people are happy to receive positive feedback, but it is the negative ones that enable us to be better.

This is because if you think you are already on the right path, then there would be a lesser desire to brush up on your current skills. To avoid potential conflicts, some companies have even attempted to remove negative feedback from performance reviews.

So the question is, do you want an upgrade? Or are you happy with where you are right now with all the compliments flooding your way? If it’s the former, we’re so glad for your willingness to change.

We’re not going to promise that you will leave this article feeling like you’re ready for a self-improvement journey. Criticisms hurt and we’re not going to lie. But it’s something to embrace if you want to tackle your weaknesses and bridge the gaps.

Want to walk out of your self-protective instincts now? Take it from Dr Tomas on the four key ways you can use to embrace critical feedback.

#1: Search for a right mentor

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Don’t be alarmed by the word ‘mentor’. Dr Tomas points out that the right person should be someone with experience in the area you’re keen to make a change in. He or she could be someone who knows you well, has seen your growth, or aware of the skillsets or talents you want to build.

In our current prosocial society, it’s getting difficult to find someone willing to provide critical feedback. “For all the talk of authenticity, if you go about telling everyone what you really think, you will have no friends and your colleagues will hate you,” said Dr Tomas.

That’s like hitting the bull’s eye, isn’t it? What you need is someone who is fearlessly psyched to tell you what you need to hear. Note the difference between what you want to hear and what you need to hear.

#2: Find proper questions to ask

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Finding the right mentor to receive feedback is already not a simple task. If you want to make it easier for your mentor to give you an appropriate assessment, ask pertinent questions.

Avoid asking short questions like these:

“How did I do?”
“Was this okay?”
“Did I do a good job?”
“Did you like what I did?”

Instead, ask:

“What would you have done differently?”
“What are the two things that they didn’t like so much?”
“If you can change one thing about X going forward, what would that be?”

Also, mean what you say. If you’ve made known that you wouldn’t take it to heart, then don’t take it personally. Value their honest response and see it as a way to help you get better, even if you don’t immediately agree due to a defensive stance.

Dr Tomas states that the right mentors should help improve your ability to identify blind spots and critical areas for improvement. As a mentee, always be thankful.

“Feedback is always a gift, and there is no bigger gift than constructive critical feedback because it is daunting and risky to provide it. There is a higher cost to honest negative feedback than fake positive feedback, but the former makes you much better than the latter,” he adds.

#3: Receive comments and act on it

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Have you ever advised upon a request only to find out that the other party has turned a deaf ear? If you understand how frustrating it feels, don’t do the same to your mentor.

Receive critical feedback and reciprocate the time and effort spent by committing to change. Then, share your action plans with your mentor to involve them in the process. Knowing that you’re taking their constructive comments seriously is also a form of motivation for your mentors to provide you with more guidance going forward.

“When someone asks you for help, and you offer your honest views, even though you know it may hurt them, there is nothing more rewarding than seeing them make a positive change based on what they heard. Making others better is a wonderful achievement,” Dr Tomas remarked.

#4: Get more feedback to monitor progress

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If you’ve followed through the strategies so far and managed to gain and act on the criticisms given to you, don’t just stop there. Politely ask your mentors for more valuable critiques so you can track your progress.

To put it simply, Dr Tomas says the process should look like this:

Get critical feedback
Make an effort to change
Get more feedback to monitor progress

He also illustrates this strategy using a weighing scale. When you think you’ve put on weight recently thanks to the work-from-home routine, you put yourself up on a weighing scale. Seeing the figures got you motivated on losing weight, so you change up your diet or start exercising more often.

But do you stop there? No. To measure your success, you go up on the scale again to track your weight. The idea here is that you don’t just repeat the process once or twice, but as often as you can to monitor your development.

In conclusion, be aware that even the most talented people are a work in progress. Yes, criticisms are painful; nonetheless, it is also a positive force for change and the fuel to be better. Those who are seeking growth should learn to welcome useful negative feedback with open arms.