Marriage & Family Archives | Page 7 of 80

What if your husband wants a baby but you’re not ready to sacrifice your career for it?

You’re reading this because you’re not quite ready to trade your office wear for maternity wear.

Balancing career ambitions with motherhood is tough, but even tougher when your partner’s biological clock is ticking louder than yours.

How should you approach this issue?

Well, both of you have valid feelings and your husband’s desire for a mini-me is just as real as your “love” for your job.

Chat about your hopes, fears, and dreams; maybe there’s a compromise hiding somewhere.

What are your options?

Delaying parenthood

Who says you need to have a baby right now? Consider setting a future timeline that works for both of you. Perhaps in a few years, you will feel more ready.

Alternative paths

Freeze those eggs, girl! It’s like pressing pause on your fertility clock.

Career flexibility

Look into flexible work arrangements, remote options, or even part-time gigs. Some employers can be very accommodating (or should be soon).

If you don’t already know, all employers must have a process for workers to request flexible work arrangements starting in December.

Here’s a quick summary of the abovementioned linked news article:

From December 2024, all employers in Singapore must have a process in place for workers to formally request flexible work arrangements.
Employers have two months to decide on such requests and must provide reasons if a request is rejected.
The guidelines aim to make it easier for employees to request flexible work arrangements while acknowledging employers’ right to decide work arrangements.
Flexible work arrangements include flexi-place (working remotely), flexi-time (adjusting working hours), and flexi-load (part-time work or job sharing).
Employees should make requests responsibly, considering the impact on workload and performance. Employers should explore ways to accommodate requests where feasible.
Tripartite partners will provide support to employers to implement flexible work arrangements effectively, including training and funding.

To make a formal flexible work arrangement request, click through this link to access Tripartite’s guidelines.

Seeking support

You can also consider booking a session with a marriage counselor or family therapist to gain an unbiased perspective and let them be the guiding compass you need.

Or grab teh/kopi/bubble tea with a friend who’s been there, done that.

Also, it’s good to investigate your workplace support options. Are there flexible parental leave policies or back-to-work programs? Chat with HR on what’s available.

Making a decision

Setting goals together

As a team of two, write down your short-term and long-term objectives. Where do you see your career in 5 years? What about your family life?

Flexibility is key

Life likes throwing us lemons, so keep an open mind.

Maybe you can find an in-between, like delaying parenthood for a year or two while you go chase after some career milestones.

Or perhaps there’s a way to balance both without sacrificing either?

Don’t be afraid to voice your concerns. Your career matters too. Take time to think it through and don’t let anyone pressure you to make an immediate decision. Whatever you decide, make sure it sits well within you. Your life goals are just as important as his.

Kiasu Parents’ Guide to Financial Preps Before the Baby Arrives

#1: INSURANCE COVERAGE

When it comes to expecting a baby, it’s always wise to be prepared for the unexpected. That’s why maternity insurance is a must-have. For those who love being ahead of the game, like many Kiasu parents, maternity insurance is essential. Maternity insurance can provide financial protection and peace of mind during this significant life event.

Take, for example, Income’s Maternity 360. With a single premium, this plan offers three years of comprehensive coverage for both mother and baby, including protection against death, 10 pregnancy complications, and 23 congenital diseases. Plus, it includes a hospital care benefit, ensuring you’re covered in various situations.

#2: HOSPITAL BAG

Packing your hospital bag is an exciting step, but it’s important to plan based on your expected stay. Most mothers spend 2 to 3 days in the hospital after giving birth, though a C-section may require a longer stay. Fathers planning to stay with their partners should also consider this when packing.

Think about what will make you comfortable and prepared for those few days. For example, when my friend Lea was expecting her first child, she packed cozy pajamas, snacks, and even a favorite pillow from home, making her stay much more comfortable.

#3: HOME PREPARATION

Bringing your baby home for the first time is a thrilling moment, but it’s crucial to ensure your home is ready. This goes beyond just cleaning; it’s about creating a safe, welcoming environment.

Start by minimizing furniture and switching to non-toxic products (e.g., disinfectants and natural cleaning products). Less furniture means fewer places for germs and dust to gather. For laundry: wash sheets, blankets, and your baby’s clothes with mild detergent to avoid skin irritation. Then, consider professional cleaning if necessary.

#4: EMERGENCY FUND

Life with a baby can be unpredictable, and having an emergency fund is crucial. Aim to save enough to cover three to six months’ worth of your take-home pay. If that seems daunting, start with a smaller goal, like S$1,000, then gradually increase it.

#5: BABY-CENTERED BUDGET

Adjusting your budget to include baby-related expenses is essential. Consider ongoing costs like health insurance, doctor visit copays, diapers, formula, food, clothing, and daycare. Don’t forget one-time expenses for setting up the nursery and stocking up on baby gear. My cousin Nik created a detailed budget before her baby was born and found it incredibly helpful in managing her finances smoothly.

#6: BENEFICIARIES UPDATE

Major life changes, like having a baby, are a perfect time to review and update your beneficiaries on life insurance and retirement plans. You might still have your parents, siblings, or even a previous partner listed instead of your child. When my brother updated his beneficiaries after his first child was born, it gave him great comfort knowing his family’s future was secured.

Image Credits: unsplash.com

Preparing for a baby is an exciting journey filled with many steps, but with a little planning and forethought, you can ensure you’re ready for the adventure ahead.

Sources: 1 ,2, & 3

How to Thrive When a Spender Marries a Saver

You’ve found the love of your life and decided to get married. However, as you plan for your shared future, you realize that one of you is a spender while the other is a saver.

Fortunately, there are strategies to manage joint finances that can satisfy both partners. Here are some tips for maintaining a balanced relationship between a spender and a saver that have been beneficial for me and my spouse.

TALK ABOUT YOUR MONETARY FEELINGS

Money often elicits strong emotions: it can cause anxiety or excitement, and managing it can either calm or stress you out. Before getting married, take time to explore each other’s feelings about money and the reasons behind them. Did you grow up in a household where money was scarce or abundant? Your upbringing significantly influences your money attitudes, and your future spouse might see things differently.

When my husband and I were engaged, we had a deep conversation about our financial upbringings. He grew up in a frugal household where every dollar was accounted for, while I was raised in a family that enjoyed spending on experiences and luxuries. Understanding these backgrounds helped us empathize with each other’s financial perspectives.

DISCUSS YOUR SPENDING PRIORITIES

One partner might value designer items, while the other enjoys an expensive hobby. Perhaps you both love to travel, aspire to own a home, or want to retire early. By discussing your desires, you can find common ground. Planning and saving for shared goals can ensure that both partners are satisfied with the purchases you make together.

We both love to travel, but I tend to splurge on spontaneous trips while my husband prefer saving for bigger vacations. By discussing our priorities, we agreed to save a portion of our income specifically for travel, allowing us to enjoy both planned and impromptu trips. If both partners agree, you can establish a clear plan for discretionary spending and saving for long-term goals.

CHOOSE PAYMENT METHODS WISELY

The pain of spending can be mitigated by using credit cards or small denominations of cash. One-click purchases and buy-it-now payments are also less painful. These payment methods can make spending less distressing for savers. Conversely, using cash, especially in large denominations, can make spending more painful for savers, though spenders are generally less influenced by the payment method.

Image Credits: unsplash.com

I noticed that my husband found it easier to stick to our budget when using cash. We decided to allocate a monthly cash allowance for discretionary spending, which helped us control our expenses better.

CONSIDER OPPORTUNITY COSTS

Many people, particularly spenders, often overlook opportunity costs at the time of purchase. When reminded of these costs, spenders tend to make more frugal choices.

For example, in a study where spenders had to choose between a S$950 and a S$1,360 stereo, they were more likely to choose the S$950 stereo when reminded that the cheaper option left them with S$410 in cash. This extra cash can be used for a weekend getaway. Highlighting opportunity costs can help spenders make more mindful decisions.

HIGHLIGHT VIRTUE IN SPENDING

Savers are more willing to spend on virtuous items, such as healthy food, compared to vices. If a saver is hesitant about a vacation, emphasize the virtuous aspects of the trip, such as quality time with family or the health benefits of relaxation.

SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP

If you struggle to agree on a budget, consider consulting a financial planner. They can help create a budget that works for both of you.

Financial planners offer impartial advice and can determine whether certain expenses are affordable or should be postponed.

AVOID COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS

Spenders and savers often have different life goals, which can lead to tension. Avoid comparing yourself to your partner as a way to justify your spending habits. This approach only deepens the divide and rarely resolves issues.

If you’re a saver, it’s easy to feel superior because you save more, but such feelings can harm your relationship. Remember, spending habits do not define a person’s worth or value in a relationship.

Image Credits: unsplash.com

By following these tips, you can foster a financially harmonious relationship. Embrace your differences, communicate openly, and work together towards common goals to ensure a happy and prosperous future.

Sources: 1 & 2

HDB to offer open-concept ‘white flats’ in a new BTO project later this year

The Housing and Development Board (HDB) is going to try out this new open-concept flat layout, where the living room and bedroom aren’t separated by walls.

They’re calling it the “White Flat” layout.

When and where is the launch?

They’re going to have these kinds of flats available in a new BTO project launching in October in Kallang-Whampoa.

There will be 310 units of three-room and four-room flats.

When buyers get invited to reserve a flat, they will have the option to choose the White Flat layout.

The idea is to give homeowners more flexibility to design the space they want.

Since there won’t be walls between the rooms, it’s like a blank canvas for people to decorate however works best for them.

This might be appealing to younger homeowners who prefer more open floor plans or who want to get creative with furniture.

Also, if down the line homeowners need change as they go through different life stages, the White Flat will allow them to add walls in the future (i.e. if they want more separation between spaces).

They’ve designed it so there won’t be any visible support beams between the spaces either, since they moved the structural columns to the edges.

This White Flat option could be good for people who want to customize their home layout themselves to save on renovation costs (like hacking) later on.

Both couples and families might find the flexible space useful depending on their needs.

What’s the price like?

The price of the White Flats is still being finalized, but word has it that the lack of partition walls will be factored into the cost.

Think it’s not something you would like?

Fear not as folks who don’t want the open concept can still get the standard layout with walls.

Any disadvantages to consider?

The one downside might be when it comes to resale.

It could be tougher if you meet future buyers who have vastly different preferences.

And the price difference between standard and White Flats may not be huge since a lot of the major costs like structure are the same.

HDB’s commitment to serve future homeowners

With all that said, HDB has been making changes over the years to give buyers more options on how they use the space.

Like now, all new BTO projects have open kitchens if the layout allows.

They’ve also adjusted flat types to keep up with changing family needs.

There are also significant changes in design trends since the early 2000s.

For instance, the windows in living rooms and bedrooms have been repositioned to face the building’s exterior, offering residents better views and privacy.

Additionally, the layout of the apartments has been improved by relocating the common bathroom to a more convenient spot, closer to the bedrooms, rather than its previous placement within the kitchen area.

A door now separates the service yard from the kitchen for added functionality.

Looking to the future, HDB is committed to continuously evolving its flat designs and features to align with the desires and lifestyle demands of Singaporeans.

4 kid-friendly shows/events under $44 to bring your child to for the upcoming June holidays

As the June holidays begin, the quest to keep the little ones entertained becomes urgent.

If you’re on the hunt for fun-filled activities, we have compiled a list of kid-friendly shows/events, all under $44, for your consideration.

Red Dot’s Rovin’ Ride through the Four Seasons

Price: from $22

When: Sat, 22 Jun 2024 & Sun, 23 Jun 2024

First up, you may want to join Red Dot’s Rovin’ Ride through Vivaldi’s Four Seasons for a musical adventure!

This interactive theatrical production brings the masterworks to life, with the musicians themselves stepping into the role of storytellers.

From a barking dog to a partying villager, characters, and scenes spring to life, bringing you through the changing seasons.

Designed for families and young maestros, this performance by the Red Dot Baroque ensemble promises to delight audiences of all ages.

[Editor’s note: Infants and children aged below 4 years old are not allowed to enter.]

ROAR! Dinosaur Adventure Park 2.0

Price: from $31

When: now till Sun, 30 Jun 2024

Or enter prehistoric paradise at ROAR! Dinosaur Adventure Park 2.0, where life-size dinos roam the land.

Hop in an adventure car and explore the Jurassic forest or get hands-on as a paleontologist and dig for fossils.

Brave the dino-themed inflatables, take a spin on the dinosaur ride, and test your child’s aim at the VR shooting game.

Don’t forget to collect all 9 stamps for a bring-home souvenir!

With weekday tickets just $31, it’s an adventure the whole family will love.

Just remember, little ones 8 and under must be accompanied by an adult.

Bluey’s Big Play

Price: from $38

When: Thu, 13 June – Sun, 23 June 2024

Bluey’s Big Play brings a pup’s adventures to life in an all-new theatrical experience.

Join the Heeler family through crafted puppets and an original story by the series creator.

This live show lets your child see Bluey like never before.

Whether your child’s a longtime fan or discovering the series for the first time, Bluey’s Big Play is a can’t-miss event.

Maybank cardholders and StarHub subscribers can enjoy 10% off (T&Cs apply), and VIP box seats with a special meet-and-greet are available if you have the budget to spare.

The Gruffalo

Price: from $42

When: Fri, 14 Jun 2024 – Sun, 23 Jun 2024

Last but not least, join the fearless Mouse on a journey through the dark forest in this musical adaptation of the children’s book.

Filled with tunes, humor, and Gruffalo, this show is THE SHOW for kids aged 3 and up.

See for yourself how Mouse outwits the cunning Fox, eccentric Owl, and party-loving Snake, all while searching for hazelnuts.

With 15% off Thursday and Friday performances, it’s an opportunity to treat your little one to this much-loved production that has wowed audiences across Britain and the world.

As the June holidays approach, you want to grab those tickets ASAP. Whether your kids are tapping their feet along a musical adventure or screaming their lungs out at those real-life-looking dinosaurs, these experiences are sure to be the highlight of their June holidays—and yours, too 😉

When and where is the launch?

What’s the price like?

Any disadvantages to consider?

HDB’s commitment to serve future homeowners

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