How To Deal With Difficult Co-Workers

In this day and age, you can choose to create a massive wardrobe. You can choose to befriend the people who inspire you. Oh! You can even handpick the gender of your baby.

However, you usually cannot choose the people whom you will work with.

The fixed structure of the workplace allows you to interact with all sorts of people. Every workplace has toxic workers. It is inevitable! Dealing with these difficult people is challenging, yet very rewarding. Increase your positive coping skills by absorbing these tips:

Rise Above The Negativity

Some people love to create a bubble of negativity above their heads. They complain about almost every topic that exists. They feel overworked and underpaid. They do not like their bosses. Nor do they enjoy their jobs. They think their careers are on the brink of destruction!

If you are surrounded by Negative Steve and Negative Betsy, you have two moves up your sleeves. You can either avoid the negative bond or hear the person out. Avoidance is acceptable in this situation as you do not want to create a parasitic relationship (i.e., where one is dependent on the other). Take in the essence of what Tony Chatman, a corporate relationship professional, once said.

“If you bond with someone on a negative issue, they will feel that they have found a partner in their distress, and they will look for you every time they feel something negative.”

My significant background in Psychology supports these ideas. Once you bond with the negative co-worker and stimulate his or her rants, you act with validation. You make the person feel right and that the behavior is acceptable.

The other path opposes the first strategy as it employs active listening. You can initially listen to the complaints of the negative person. Decide whether these claims are legitimate or not. If so, offer assistance to solve the present problem. Know your limitations when giving advice. Suggest reading credible books, attending informative seminars, and consulting the professionals in the company’s Human Resources Department.

Prevent The Spread Of Infectious Gossip

Do you ever wonder how your every tiny mistake reaches your boss? Or, perhaps you are wondering how your embarrassing pictures reached the company’s Facebook group. Search no further than the Office Gossipmonger. Gossipmongers cannot keep their mouths shut when it comes to bad news. Instead of offering help, they seek to lower your credibility to stay ahead of the workplace hierarchy. They love to blabber about different stories as long as it does not involve them.

To prevent the spread of the infectious rumor, you must hold back on the private things about your life. Do not disclose an information that you do want others to know about. Remember that everything you say may be used against you. Donna Flagg, the author of Surviving Dreaded Conversations, highlighted that you must: “keep a safe distance so as to avoid getting sucked into the toxicity”.

As with anyone, there is a positive side to them. You can use them as a tool to spread an important information. If you want the workplace to act upon a specific issue, relay the “confidential information” to the gossipmonger. I am pretty sure that he or she will not be able to resist the urge to spread the message right away.

Learn How To Handle The Resident Bully

Workplace bullies employ emotional, physical, or sexual attacks toward their co-workers. Examples of wrongful acts include inappropriately criticizing one’s performance and taking credit for other people’s work. Consequences of these acts include dreading to go to work and public humiliation (i.e., due to being shouted or called at).

The upcoming fact took me by surprise! Statistics found that 1 in 4 Singaporeans have suffered from workplace bullying with the top aggressors being their bosses (62%) and their clients (21%). To make matters worse, Singapore was one of the few countries with the highest acceptance of workplace bullying.

If you are one of the unfortunate targets of the resident bully, deal with him or her by reading this article.

Image Credits: pixabay.com

Image Credits: pixabay.com

Sometimes, prized abilities and proper work ethics do not go hand in hand. This is why toxic or difficult people exist at the workplace. You may not control how these people behave, but you can control how you will react to them. Think about this!

Sources: 1,  2, & 3

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5 Must-Read Books About Retirement

A prosperous retirement is more than just attaining financial independence. It involves finding happiness and meaning in this fresh chapter of life as well as stretching your financial resources to aid your journey.

Here are the must-read publications if you are looking for ways to make the most of your remaining years:

1. “HOW TO MAKE YOUR MONEY LAST: THE INDISPENSABLE RETIREMENT GUIDE” BY JANE QUINN

But it here.

Are you at the library right now? Check out the self-help books and other resources about retirement. You will notice that most of these books focus mainly on how to invest your money to create a potent retirement fund. The author’s experience supported this. Quinn once said: “I found books and websites on how to invest but practically nothing on how to prudently parcel your money out. If you take too little from savings, you’re depriving yourself of some of the comforts that you worked for. If you take too much, you’ll go broke.”

You see, spending your money wisely is just as important as building a nest. Find a balance between these elements by reading this book. Written in plain terms, this book explains how you can stretch your money once you are in retirement.

2. “THE NEW RULES OF RETIREMENT: STRATEGIES FOR A SECURE FUTURE” BY ROBERT CARLSON

Buy it here.

For people who are far from the retiring age or who are in the earlier stages of retirement, this gem is perfect for you. It is dubbed to be a “global book” that seeks to help its readers to wrap their minds around the whole subject. It takes a realistic look at the diverse life patterns that are emerging in the retiring Baby Boomers in the recent years.

It includes chapters that educate you about managing your fund, avoiding scams, planning for long-term care, and more. These chapters are detailed and easy to read.

3. “HOW TO RETIRE HAPPY, WILD, AND FREE” BY ERNIE ZELINSKI

Buy it here.

What makes this book shine above the rest is its Canadian humor and its focus on the non-monetary aspects of retirement. It encourages its readers to improve their physical, spiritual, and emotional well-being. It puts heavy emphasis on how to live during retirement. This is why the contents of the book are not only practical but also relevant.

4. “THE RETIRING MIND: HOW TO MAKE THE PSYCHOLOGICAL TRANSITION TO RETIREMENT” BY ROBERT DELAMONTAGNE

Buy it here.

A Psychological transition to retirement entails dealing with the emotional stress that comes with this significant milestone. A substantial part of the book is dedicated to finding the reader’s inner being to create a fulfilling life and to enhance personal relationships. Dr. Delamontagne helps us to understand our personality types as it influences how we grow toward the next stage. These nuggets of knowledge are backed by his personal experiences.

5. “WHAT COLOR IS YOUR PARACHUTE? (FOR RETIREMENT: 2ND EDITION)” BY JOHN NELSON & RICHARD BOLLES

Buy it here.

Learn about the wide array of variables that are involved in retirement as this book provides you with useful guidelines on how to be healthy, happy, and successful. There are worksheets and exercises inside for hands-on or practical learning.

Image Credits: pixabay.com

Image Credits: pixabay.com

Ultimately, the authors view retirement as a crucial stage in life and not just an event that occurs when you stop working.

Sources: 1 & 2

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Do You Have The 5 Traits Of A Good Boss?

If you want to succeed in running a business, you need to understand that it takes more than just telling people what to do. You must have the qualities that make you stand out from the rest.

Do not get me wrong, possessing the traits of a good boss will not make you perfect. This is because an individual must act based on these traits. You cannot preach to a crowd if you are disorganized yourself.

Fortunately, these traits can be and must be learned through repetition. Start by knowing what some of these are:

1. CONSCIENTIOUSNESS

Conscientiousness, a trait in the Five Factor Model, has long been associated with success. This is because people who are highly conscientious are dependable and organized. While, people who are low on this trait tend to be more careless, spontaneous, and laid-back.

You can easily spot this trait in the workplace. A boss with a high sense of duty comes to work on time, follows the projects’ deadlines, and avoids unnecessary absenteeism. Acting beyond what is required of you (going above and beyond) is also an indicator of your conscientiousness.

2. COMPASSION

As the noble Dalai Lama once said: “Compassion is not religious business, it is human business…”

He highlights that regardless of our status, compassion is an essential trait for human survival. It is also applicable in the workplace. A compassionate boss can create a workplace filled with people who value each other and who go thru the hurdles as a unit. After all, the Latin etymology of the word “compassion” translates to “to suffer with”. Try to practice compassion in everything that you do.

3. CREATIVITY

Some of the world’s most inspiring leaders are creative individuals. These inspiring individuals include Facebook’s founder Mark Zuckerberg and Patanjali Ayurved’s founder Baba Ramdev. In the local scene, Jeannie Chew of Soaplah comes to my mind.

The invention of the Soaplah came from Jeannie’s previous experiences with skin problems. She was troubled with eczema and other skin issues at a young age that she started making her own natural soap. In her journey to find the best solution, she handcrafted her soaps using natural ingredients such as pure essential oils with anti-microbial and anti-inflammatory properties. Her hard-work paid off as Soaplah offers a variety of soaps that can absolutely soothe even the most sensitive of skins!

If you are like Jeannie, creative thinking can spark a vision or a sudden epiphany. The road to perfection comes with mistakes. It is your job as a good leader to navigate the wrongs into rights.

4. INTEGRITY

Majority of the people agree that a good boss must uphold integrity and sincerity. Integrity entails honesty in internal and external aspects of the person. It requires you to tell the truth in every situation.

For instance, an honest boss is willing to share the good and the bad news to its employees. It is because he or she knows that they deserve to know.

5. ACCOUNTABILITY

The grave responsibility bestowed on you comes with great accountability. Accountability is not only for the achievements of the company but also for its downfalls. There are no “absolutes” in business. One can never ascertain the things that can happen in the future after making a decision.

Image Credits: pixabay.com

Image Credits: pixabay.com

Be fearless and accept the responsibility of your actions. If necessary, hold others accountable too.

Sources: 1, 2, 3, & 4

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Efficient Ways To Deal With Your Money Insecurities

We all experience money insecurities at some point in our lives. The question is, how do you handle them?

TAP ON YOUR TRIGGERS

Contemplate on the things that you are lacking. Where do these negative thoughts come from? Do these come from your painful financial situations in the past? Think about it!

Once you locate the source of your insecurity, it will be easier do think of ways to efficiently deal with it. Facing your fear entails the end of avoidance. For instance, Danny is worried that he is making less than his wife. This thought comes from his highly dominating mother. It is up Danny to think about proactive way to handle this situation.

Thoughts lead to feelings, which directs behavior. Recognizing where the insecurity started will make it seem more manageable.

CHANGE YOUR PERSPECTIVE

Some money insecurities originate from the wrongful beliefs and myths that the person strongly holds. See the other side of the situation to re-frame your negative perspectives. If you are unemployed and you feel extremely useless, view the circumstance as a new chapter in your life. In this chapter…you are FREE! You have countless days to figure out what you really want to do in life. Invest on things that will lead you to your financial goals.

Image Credits: pixabay.com

Image Credits: pixabay.com

DO NOT COMPARE

They say that money is the root of all evil. However, I believe that envy is too.

It is not difficult to become insecure when you constantly compare your wealth, job, and lifestyle to others who are seemingly perfect. Aspiring someone’s success may serve as a great motivation. However, unrealistically desiring what others have can contribute to your insecurity and depression. It is very unhealthy to measure your own worth to the things that you do not possess.

Rather than mimicking the lifestyle of your “flawless” neighbor, focus on your own capabilities and strengths instead.

KNOW YOUR STRENGTHS

You read it once and you will read it again! You must focus on your capabilities and strengths. Most people put more weight on failures (e.g., investment loses) than on successful experiences (e.g., salary increase). A lot of insecurities can come from narrowing your mindset on the things that you have trouble with.

As much as everybody carries their weak points, they do have some strong points as well! Learn to balance these two elements together and build a successful life. Say your budgeting skills are above average, consider flourishing this area further by seeking the help of professionals.

Image Credits: pixabay.com

Image Credits: pixabay.com

PARTING THOUGHTS

In conclusion, we all experience money insecurities at some points in our lives. The key to conquering these insecurities is to determine, invalidate, and move past them. Concentrate on your strengths and accomplishments to realize that your insecurities are merely irrational fears.

Sources: 1, 2, & 3

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Overcoming The Common Interviewer Biases

An interview for a possible job opportunity or salary increase is ultimately founded by an interaction between two or more individuals. Due to the nature of human behavior, both the interviewer and the interviewee are subjected to Psychological biases and errors.

What my background in Psychology has taught me is that these biases can be conquered. Awareness of the different biases is the first step!

AFFECT HEURISTIC

In Psychology, affect refers to the person’s overt display of feelings and emotions while heuristic allows people to make judgements swiftly and efficiently. Putting these two together will produce the Affect Heuristic. The Affect Heuristic is an error in judgement due to interpreting the world based on the person’s current mood.

For instance, if the interviewer had a horrible day due to domestic conflicts then, he or she may project negative feelings onto you. 

Image Credits: pixabay.com

Image Credits: pixabay.com

This error goes hand-in-hand with the negativity bias. Negativity bias happens when individuals give more emphasis on the bad experiences rather than the good ones. Hence, you have to be careful with the pattern of your feelings and thoughts!

CONFIRMATION BIAS

As the name suggests, Confirmation Bias is the tendency to listen solely to the information that approves one’s preconceptions.

Say your parents instilled the idea that superior employees are products of local universities only. As an interviewer, you encountered aspirants who graduated from private schools such as PSB Academy and EASB. You may be more inclined to apply your preconceptions to make false judgements about their abilities.

Image Credits: pixabay.com

Image Credits: pixabay.com

Spend a substantial amount of time in evaluations to overcome this bias and increase rater’s accuracy.

ANCHORING BIAS

Anchoring Bias is the tendency of some people to rely heavily on the first piece of information they receive. For instance, you are negotiating your salary. The first offer that you make will establish a spectrum of “reasonable” possibilities and the following counteroffers will be anchored by that initial offer.

Image Credits: pixabay.com

Image Credits: pixabay.com

Negotiating a salary is a conversation that aims to reach an agreement with someone whose interests are not perfectly aligned with yours. Make your first offer count despite of the Anchoring Bias by researching all the necessary information such as the average pay for your position.

CONTRAST EFFECT

Contrast Effect is the “magnification or reduction of perception as a result of previous exposure to something of lesser or greater quality”. A candidate who understands the essence of this effect will immediately volunteer after a poor candidate in order for his or her ratings to be optimum.

Reduce the Contrast Effect by delegating a standardized criteria where you base your decisions on. Thus, your interviews, discussions, and evaluations must all be structured.

Image Credits: pixabay.com

Image Credits: pixabay.com

May you apply your knowledge of these common cognitive biases to your next interview! 🙂

Sources:  1 & 2

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