Telltale Signs That Your Colleague Secretly Dislikes You

While some people have no problem letting you know that they hate you, others may try to maintain their professionalism by hiding their unpleasant feelings.

Know some of the obvious and less-obvious indications of dislike by reading thru this list!

#1: HE OR SHE DOES NOT SMILE WHEN YOU ARE AROUND

As you pass by, the shinning smile on your colleague’s face dissolves instantaneously. The change in his or her disposition is not due to a hormonal mood swing or an occasional unpleasant day. It is deeper than that! Something is wrong as your colleague makes a conscious effort to not smile whenever you are in the room.

#2: HE OR SHE CANNOT LOOK YOU IN THE EYE

One of the most obvious signs that you co-worker dislikes you is when he or she cannot maintain eye contact. The eyes are the gateway to what is beneath your soul. People may be afraid to look you in the eye if they perceive that you have an ability to detect hostility.

#3: HE OR SHE DOES NOT INCLUDE YOU IN THE WORKPLACE HUMOR

Exchanging jokes and teasing are common in cemented workplace relationships. If the person who hates your guts is the leader of the workplace clique then, you may be constantly left out in the inner circle. They may not feel comfortable when you are around.

#4: HE OR SHE DOES NOT INVITE YOU TO SOCIAL EVENTS

Being excluded from the social guest list is one of the signs that your colleague does not want you around. “Sorry! We forgot to invite you.”, may be one of the lines that you constantly hear from that certain person.

#5: HE OR SHE DISPLAYS NEGATIVE BODY LANGUAGE

Communication is mostly made up of non-verbal cues. Uncover your co-worker’s genuine feelings toward you by observing his or her body language. Constant subtle eye rolls, lack of eye contact, and folded arms are just some of the red flags.

#6: HE OR SHE TAKES CREDIT FOR YOUR WORK

When a co-worker is determined to exclude you from all the important company discussions, it is clear that he or she does not want you to get involved. A more potent display of disdain is when a co-worker sabotages your role in the project by taking credit for your ideas.

Image Credits: pixabay.com

Image Credits: pixabay.com

Watch out for these!

Sources: 1 & 2

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How To Deal With The Toughest Questions About Money

Nurturing an honest and educational discussion about money is highly encouraged. It is helpful to share personal saving tips and ways to cushion the challenging economy. However, it is easier to travel deeper into the conversation as you get more familiar with someone.

A nosy or rude question about money can push your pleasant discussion into an inaappropriate territory. Prevent judgment or unsolicited advice from coming by considering these approaches:

#1: HOW MUCH MONEY DO YOU MAKE?

One of the most shocking encounters in my life was when my uncle’s neighbor directly asked how much I made. This is an inappropriate question to ask to a person you met for the first time. I wore a smile on my face and firmly said: “I am sorry, but that is personal. It is not something that you need to be concerned with.”

You may approach the same situation in a lighter manner by saying: “I earn enough to cover my needs and reasonable wants.”

#2: HOW MUCH MONEY DOES YOUR SPOUSE EARN?

When you are exercising a in-depth disclosure with your friends, it is easy to slip an invasive question from time to time. One person may ask how much your spouse earns per month. Divert the topic by saying: “We make enough money to enjoy your pleasant company today.”

If you are unsuccessful in changing the course of the conversation, politely state that you do not discuss financial matters outside of your marriage.

#3: ISN’T THAT TOO EXPENSIVE FOR YOU?

A concerned family member or a close friend may bluntly ask you about an item he or she perceives as hefty. Alleviate the worries of your “asker” by elaborating how good you felt about your purchase. Also, you may share how much thought you exhausted before purchasing the said item.

I shall illustrate this scenario in the following dialogue below.

Gabby: How can you afford to purchase the new GoPro?
Jayden: I did my research. I shopped around Singapore to find a camera that I really desire. Do not worry about it! This GoPro is still within my budget.
Gabby: Okay lah!

#4: HOW MUCH DID YOU SPEND FOR YOUR FLAT?

Real Estate in Singapore is a tricky subject. People may judge you for either spending too much or too little for your nest. Stay on the safer side by keeping your answers vague. Consider saying something along these lines:

a. It is more that we expected, but less that the actual asking price.
b. It was above our asking price, but within our budget.

Sway away from this matter by inviting the person as your guest in your upcoming housewarming.

#5: MOM AND DAD, ARE WE RICH OR POOR?

Children are immensely curious by default. As early as primary school, they begin to define themselves by observing the similarities and differences between them and the society. Their friends may brag about how much they have, but your child cannot fully appreciate what rich or poor actually means. This is why it is your responsibility to shape your kid’s definition of what it means to be well-off.

You can impart that the essence of being rich does not necessarily equate to a household’s net income. For instance, you may say that your family is rich in the love and presence of each other.

#6: HOW MUCH DO YOU EXPECT TO EARN IN THIS POSITION?

The juiciest job interview questions are related to salary. Your potential employer may ask you about the specific range of expected salary in order to make an offer. It is best to utilize a positive and direct response to avoid triggering the interviewer’s tougher side.

Image Credits: pixabay.com

Image Credits: pixabay.com

Say that I was put in this situation. My response will be: “I would greatly appreciate if you could make an offer that is based on the budget for this position. We can negotiate from there on.”

Sources: 1, 2, & 3

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How To Handle The Toughest Online Complaints

Supporting your customers does not always make you right, but it is about making things right. You are more likely to keep your customer if your resolved a situation fully. Deal with the toughest online complaints by following these tips:

Keep It Subjective

In my experience as an Administrative Officer, email scripts were extremely helpful. I answered queries and complaints with ease as we had several fixed templates in our repertoire. However, customers get frustrated after opening a generic email where some questions were left unanswered. This is why your reply must be tailored to the problem of your customer.

A good trick to try is to “copy and paste” the entire content of your customer’s email. Break it up into workable chunks in order to address every issue. This way you will be able to ensure that you respond appropriately to every paragraph.

Not Too Late To Say Sorry

No business is spotless or perfect. Instead of concealing your flaws, it is best to own up to them. Acknowledge your mistakes and think of the potential solutions. Perhaps, you can offer a voucher or discount as compensation.

Post a sincere apology as people will be quick to realize if your apology is scripted. Show your humane side by seeking a natural tone. Translate this tone as you type your message.

Image Credits: pixabay.com

Image Credits: pixabay.com

Provide Peace Offering/s

As I said above, you may provide applicable compensation. It may be in the form of discounts, vouchers, coupons, refunds, free merchandise, and free classes. Do not hesitate to shower your customer with compensation after a failure in product or service.

A research showed that 58% of complaining customers who received a gift in the mail were delighted. This goes to show that your efforts will be rewarded with increased customer confidence and satisfaction.

Conversations Must Extend Offline

Polarization, the emergence of two views that drive groups apart, occur when conflicts are stirred in public. All communications on social media platforms are in the public eye. Instead of allowing negative comments to flood, deal with the issue offline. Directly communicate with the significant person face-to-face.

Image Credits: pixabay.com

Image Credits: pixabay.com

Doing so will prevent the situation from escalating. Stay calm, firm, and polite during the encounter.

Sources: 1 & 2

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Do You Have These Harmful Attitudes About Money?

Having a wrongful attitude toward money can cost you in the long run. The earlier you alter your belief system, the sooner it will pay off. Here just some of the attitudes that you can slash off:

“MONEY IS NOT VALUABLE!”

If you relieve the weight on your finances, you may start spending carelessly. Saying money does not matter is like saying that you can live in Singapore without having to work. Money is valuable as it lets you exercise choice. You can choose to change jobs or to retire early. It helps you to afford the options that will change the way you live.

“I WILL REMAIN FINANCIALLY ILLITERATE.”

Just because you never attained a “Diploma in Banking and Finance” does not mean that you cannot learn to manage your wealth properly. Having the negative attitude that you are not good with money can increase the fallout in your finances. This ideology is more common than you think.

Image Credits: pixabay.com

Image Credits: pixabay.com

According to Kathleen Kingsbury, a financial author and money coach, women typically complain about being too stupid to learn about finance. This is not true! Since women learn by conversing, realize that your lack of financial knowledge is due to the lack of socialization related to money. An individual may join an educational club about personal finance as a solution. These matters can be applied to main as well.

“IT IS NOT POLITE TO TALK ABOUT MONEY.”

As we live in a predominately Asian nation, talking about salary or money in general is taboo. This may lead to poorly equipped individuals. You see, money has been a source of many conflicts. This is why most people skip this topic.

The downside is blatant ignorance. It is your duty to separate money facts from fiction. To get your facts straight, you must search for answers. You may not get the right information if you remain silent. People may not be able to help you in huge monetary decisions too.

Image Credits: pixabay.com

Image Credits: pixabay.com

Do you have these harmful financial attitudes? Perhaps, it is time for change.

Sources: 1 & 2

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How To Deal With Difficult Co-Workers

In this day and age, you can choose to create a massive wardrobe. You can choose to befriend the people who inspire you. Oh! You can even handpick the gender of your baby.

However, you usually cannot choose the people whom you will work with.

The fixed structure of the workplace allows you to interact with all sorts of people. Every workplace has toxic workers. It is inevitable! Dealing with these difficult people is challenging, yet very rewarding. Increase your positive coping skills by absorbing these tips:

Rise Above The Negativity

Some people love to create a bubble of negativity above their heads. They complain about almost every topic that exists. They feel overworked and underpaid. They do not like their bosses. Nor do they enjoy their jobs. They think their careers are on the brink of destruction!

If you are surrounded by Negative Steve and Negative Betsy, you have two moves up your sleeves. You can either avoid the negative bond or hear the person out. Avoidance is acceptable in this situation as you do not want to create a parasitic relationship (i.e., where one is dependent on the other). Take in the essence of what Tony Chatman, a corporate relationship professional, once said.

“If you bond with someone on a negative issue, they will feel that they have found a partner in their distress, and they will look for you every time they feel something negative.”

My significant background in Psychology supports these ideas. Once you bond with the negative co-worker and stimulate his or her rants, you act with validation. You make the person feel right and that the behavior is acceptable.

The other path opposes the first strategy as it employs active listening. You can initially listen to the complaints of the negative person. Decide whether these claims are legitimate or not. If so, offer assistance to solve the present problem. Know your limitations when giving advice. Suggest reading credible books, attending informative seminars, and consulting the professionals in the company’s Human Resources Department.

Prevent The Spread Of Infectious Gossip

Do you ever wonder how your every tiny mistake reaches your boss? Or, perhaps you are wondering how your embarrassing pictures reached the company’s Facebook group. Search no further than the Office Gossipmonger. Gossipmongers cannot keep their mouths shut when it comes to bad news. Instead of offering help, they seek to lower your credibility to stay ahead of the workplace hierarchy. They love to blabber about different stories as long as it does not involve them.

To prevent the spread of the infectious rumor, you must hold back on the private things about your life. Do not disclose an information that you do want others to know about. Remember that everything you say may be used against you. Donna Flagg, the author of Surviving Dreaded Conversations, highlighted that you must: “keep a safe distance so as to avoid getting sucked into the toxicity”.

As with anyone, there is a positive side to them. You can use them as a tool to spread an important information. If you want the workplace to act upon a specific issue, relay the “confidential information” to the gossipmonger. I am pretty sure that he or she will not be able to resist the urge to spread the message right away.

Learn How To Handle The Resident Bully

Workplace bullies employ emotional, physical, or sexual attacks toward their co-workers. Examples of wrongful acts include inappropriately criticizing one’s performance and taking credit for other people’s work. Consequences of these acts include dreading to go to work and public humiliation (i.e., due to being shouted or called at).

The upcoming fact took me by surprise! Statistics found that 1 in 4 Singaporeans have suffered from workplace bullying with the top aggressors being their bosses (62%) and their clients (21%). To make matters worse, Singapore was one of the few countries with the highest acceptance of workplace bullying.

If you are one of the unfortunate targets of the resident bully, deal with him or her by reading this article.

Image Credits: pixabay.com

Image Credits: pixabay.com

Sometimes, prized abilities and proper work ethics do not go hand in hand. This is why toxic or difficult people exist at the workplace. You may not control how these people behave, but you can control how you will react to them. Think about this!

Sources: 1,  2, & 3

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