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A family therapist shares with us signs signalling a marriage has reached its endpoint

When two lives come together to build a new family, there’s bound to be friction. While some people try to work around it and eventually see success through prolonged counselling sessions, not everyone manages to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Sometimes, the risks of staying together may even outweigh the benefits. So how does one realise that it’s meaningless to hold on any further? A family therapist shares with us signs signalling a marriage has reached its endpoint.

#1: Varying values and personalities

While there’s some truth in the belief on how “opposites attract”, couples with varying values and personalities may not be able to stay together for long.

Dr Stephanie Azri, a family therapist with two decades in clinical settings, asks us to picture these scenarios:

A partner who hates physical activities but married to one who loves hiking every weekend.
An introverted person with an extroverted spouse who needs to invite friends over every night.

These are fundamental differences we’re talking about, and if negotiations cannot get a couple anywhere, it could be a telltale sign to let go.

#2: Prey to domestic violence

Do you know that domestic violence may include physical violence, sexual violence, psychological violence, and emotional abuse?

No one is deserving of domestic violence because it hurts, and the experience tends to stick through one’s adult years. If you’ve been prey to aggressive partners for some time now, don’t keep mum about it.

Call the 24-hour National Anti-Violence Helpline at 1800 777 0000 if you need to speak with trained social workers regarding abuse and violence. Even if you’re not a direct victim but know of someone who may be undergoing domestic violence, reach out.

#3: Communication and compromise breakdowns

Image Credits: bestlifeonline.com

Communication is vital in any relationship. An obvious result of a communication breakdown is that you can’t seem to get on the same page anymore.

“I found that when one or both partners stop using manners, talk with a tone that speaks volume, or a body language that serves to intimidate, it can be a sign that the marriage got to a point where it is time to get some serious relationship coaching, or move on,” says Dr Azri.

Let’s not forget to mention that communication and compromise go hand in hand. When communication is through, at least one party attempts to give in for the greater good. But if there’s a crack in both areas, then maybe your marriage has reached its final stages.

#4: Missing common goals

Are you and your spouse heading in the same direction? Different individuals have different marriage goals, and it’s not possible to be 100% in sync all the time.

However, there should be at least a few common goals that both of you share. Think of it as a compass guiding you two on the same path. It could be a dream trip somewhere, buying a new condominium, or starting a new family journey with little ones.

If you find yourself missing common goals, this could indicate that it’s time to get back on track and walk together or take steps to move on mutually.

#5: Running the show alone

Image Credits: thejournal.ie

Some people don’t mind running the show alone, but flying solo isn’t all that great a balance in a marriage.

It’s impossible to reach a 50-50 contribution for the family since everyone has their fair share of routine and responsibilities. What we’re suggesting is that you shouldn’t be doing everything alone and feeling bitter and lonely about it.

“It is not normal to find yourself in a relationship where you don’t feel like you can share, discuss and/or negotiate roles, jobs, and responsibilities with your partner. If you are in this situation, I’d advise seriously talking about it,” noted Dr Azri.

#6: Zero or unfulfilling sexual intercourse

Dr Azri is also an accredited sexologist, and she feedbacks that there are many married couples with zero or unfulfilling sexual intercourse routines.

“Sex is an important part of a relationship and if a couple is disconnected, not attracted to their partner, unable to sexually relax, or simply not interested in having sex together, it may be safe to say that this relationship is more of a friendship (at best) rather than an intimate one,” she explains.

While couples may seek sexual therapy to find out the underlying issues, the absence of sex in any relationship is a big red flag that your marriage has reached its endpoint.

#7: Forgiveness is out of the question

Image Credits: thelist.com

As we come to a close, know that in every relationship, there’s bound to be some lies told. But when these lies get bigger, they can lead to mistrust, betrayal, and even relationship trauma.

If you can’t seem to move on, this indicates that forgiveness is out of the question. When there’s no forgiveness, grudges will slowly build-up, and this may lead to hatred over the long term. This is especially so if your partner continues to cheat on you or does hurtful things without considering your feelings.

“A healthy separation is better than a bad marriage. Accept that divorce isn’t a failure, but rather, the maturity to acknowledge that our needs have evolved and we are strong enough to step outside the present to look ahead to the future,” highlights Dr Azri.

A Comprehensive Guide On Buying Pre-Constructed Homes In Ontario, Canada

“Buy them pre-built or customize the floorplan?” That question is one of the most compelling aspects of a new home purchase for many people in Canada. It’s a choice that comes with complications including cost and terms associated with building your own home.

To determine which option is most advantageous for most, this guide delves into various facets of pre-constructed home purchases processes and their influence on buyers in Canada, most especially Ontario.

Taking Advantage of the Pre-Construction Process

One distinct feature of pre-constructed homes is the opportunity for buyers to deposit smalldown paymentsin early project phases and watch them appreciate over time. Individuals who purchased such buildings back then have seen these structures risen in value.

Intending buyers are encouraged to invest futuristically by purchasing newly pre-constructed homes that will appreciate some years from now, provided that the Canadian real estate market continues to expand.

Most of these residential homes are developed in the Canadian suburbs where competition is low. Is this a significant factor? Of course. These homes are more likely to be situated on larger lots and have increased living space, compared to earlier residential structures. But there is more.

Buyers don’t have to compete aggressively in bidding wars as seen in urban housing markets in locations like Montreal, Greater Toronto Area, Greater Vancouver Area, and Calgary. But before venturing on a hunt for pre-construction homes, take some precautionary measures to prevent unforeseen issues.

Understand Legal Requirements and Purchase Agreements

As with other building types, pre-construction homes come with legally binding agreements, which both parties must honour. On the surface, these agreements appear harmless and mouth-watering. However, upon closer study, some unfavourable provisions may be lurking in the fine print.

Signing such contracts on the spur of the moment without reading the fine print may lock the buyer in a never-ending cycle of disparaging commitments, most of which would be financial. In Ontario, buyers can wait within a stipulated timeframe to ascertain their decision to sign the contract.

This duration is commonly referred to as the “cooling-off” period, which is a legal obligation. The province also mandates warranty coverage on pre-construction homes, which buyers can leverage to ensure that they are not receiving a terrible bargain.

A buyer would also need to sign a purchase agreement with the builder. This legal document is a prerequisite to claiming full ownership of the pre-construction home and it comes with the Tarion Addendum, which comprises:

The Addendum — Documentation showing the critical dates
The Purchase Agreement — Purchase and sale agreement forms

Before signing the agreement, the buyer should seek legal advice from a lawyer to ensure that the transaction is fair and that the buyer is protected legally against potential difficulties.

Know More About the Pre-Construction Builder

Finding out more about a home builder is one method to guarantee that a pre-construction property does not come with any unlawful baggage. One way to do that is to use the Ontario Builder Directory (OBD).

OBD is an online database that provides detailed information about home builders in Ontario, including probable convictions for unlawful construction projects. Potential buyers can use this resource to figure which builder to consult.

Reputable builders in Ontario are licensed to construct new residential structures. They also have a track record of previous homes they’ve built, as well as genuine testimonials to back up their work.

Explore the Warranty Coverage

As previously noted, Ontario legislation provides for warranties on new houses. This coverage is available in a variety of warranties (one, two, and seven years) and caters to:

Materials
Workmanship
Defects
Ontario Building Code violations
Water penetration, and many more

Keep an eye on hidden costs

Charges may appear out of nowhere, leaving the homeowner perplexed. Purchasers may be unaware of them until a few days before closing. In certain circumstances, the fees might be as much as 6% of the initial purchase price.

To be cautious, purchasers should enquire about additional fees and create a budget to avoid unexpected expenditures such as development fees, utility installation fees, and the rest. The maximum charge should ideally be 2% of the purchase price.

Anticipate Pre-Delivery Inspection (PDI)

During the construction process, the builder will invite the buyer over to inspect the home. This is to ensure that the building meets the client’s requirements and satisfaction.In case of an unusually large project, or as a part of the pre-delivery inspection and acceptance, some aspects of the building may be examined.

The builder may furnish the buyer with detailed data in respect of the plumbers, electricians, plasterers, tiler, drainage consultant, roofing company, and other professionals, as part of the pre-delivery inspection and acceptance process. As a tip, buyers can review the PDI checklist available online to know what to examine when on a PDI.

A month before the warranty expiration highlighted in the Addendum, the buyer can conduct a second inspection. Why is this necessary? It is advisable to give the pre-construction building time to settle over the course of varying seasons.

As a result, the customer will be able to assess the structure’s performance under various situations. During this time, possible flaws in the construction may begin to show up. After the second inspection, the buyer can decide whether or not to proceed with the deal.

If Unsatisfied, Get a Real Estate Broker

Working with a real estate broker or agent, particularly one who is familiar with pre-construction properties, expedites the transaction process and guarantees a decent bargain. In most cases, house buyers are only shown model homes to get a sense of what the finished construction will look like.

Real estate brokers, on the other hand, are familiar with the ins and outs of pre-construction developments as a result of their relationships with developers and builders. What exactly does this imply? Builders and developers frequently hire real estate agents to represent them. They are, in other words, the sellers’ agents.

As a result, these professionals work in the best interests of their clients, not the buyer. They guarantee that the builders receive the best deal possible by offering pre-constructed homes at premium prices. It is then in the best interests of house purchasers to choose real estate agents who will represent their interests.

In Conclusion

Most Canadians spend a lot of money on a new house and then find out that’s not the one for them. Before buying a pre-construction house have an experienced broker or agent with a large network to strike a good bargain. A lawyer will come in handy as well. Finding the ideal agent and lawyer may necessitate an extensive search, but the outcomes are rewarding.

Experience The Natural Wonders Of These 4 Local Farms

“Just being surrounded by bountiful nature, rejuvenates and inspires us.“
– E.O. Wilson

Nature heals. Research showed that environments can increase or reduce our stress. What you are seeing, hearing, and feeling at any moment changes your physical and emotional well-being.

If you feel suffocated within the walls of your home, try visiting farms in Singapore. From vegetable farms to animal farms, we have you covered!

#1: HAY DIARIES

Since its inception in 1988, Hay Diaries has been the only goat farm in the country. Located within Lim Chu Kang, guests are free to explore the premises and to witness the goat milking session between 9:00 to 10:30 am.

Get close with the goats as you purchase the Alfalfa Hay (S$5 per packet) and feed the goats. End your goat farm experience by skimming through the souvenirs such as fresh goat’s milk and handmade soap.

Image Credits: Hay Diaries via facebook.com

Location: 3 Lim Chu Kang Lane 4, Singapore 718859
Website: haydairies.sg

#2: BOLLYWOOD VEGGIES

Home to the Poison Ivy Bistro, the Bollywood Veggies lets you travel back to simpler times. Their Bistro is a farm-to-table eatery where guests go for a quick lunch after visiting the nearby farm. Try their unique Blue Nasi Lemak, which is infused with blue pea flower.

After a hearty lunch, you can walk around the premises to enjoy the wide variety of plants. What’s more? They have a food museum with about twenty-four oil paintings that illustrate the relationship between food and human civilization.

Image Credits: Bollywood Veggies via facebook.com

Location: 100 Neo Tiew Road, Singapore 719026
Website: bollywoodveggies.com.sg

#3: THE LIVE TURTLE AND TORTOISE MUSEUM

Did you know that this place is a Guinness World Records holder? Witness the undeniable charm of various species of turtles and tortoises such as the Six-Legged Tortoise and the Pig Nose Flying Turtle. See and feel the spirit of the Sulcata Tortoise for luck, and the Thailand’s Golden Temple Turtle for wealth.

You will be given the chance to interact with these creatures by petting and feeding them. However, please do not lift them up as it can cause them stress. Tickets cost S$10 for children aged 3-6 and S$14 for those above 7 years old.

Image Credits: The Live Turtle and Tortoise Museum via facebook.com

Note: Due to the Phase 2 Heightened alert, group entries will be limited to 5 people per group. Only fully vaccinated visitors will be allowed entry. Children under 12 years old need not be vaccinated.

Location: ORTO, 81 Lor Chencharu #01-16, Singapore 769198
Website: turtle-tortoise.com

#4: THE SUNDOWNER

Nestled within a once empty concrete rooftop, the Sundowner is an urban farm and lounge space which offers guests the opportunity to learn about the fundamentals of organic farming and to indulge in farm-to-table goodies.

It is an oasis of green floating above the bustling cafes and bars of the Siglap restaurant belt. You can opt for the Rooftop Farm Experience to learn about organic farming as taught by a master gardener, to don a bee suit, and to get a sample of unifloral honey. This experience is priced at S$115 for adults and at S$85 for children.

Image Credits: The Sundowner via facebook.com

You can also make your own pizza with their 3-hour class. This activity is perfect for friends, families, and co-workers. Private Pizza-Making experience costs S$350, for two pax.

Location: 705A E Coast Rd, Singapore 459062
Website: thesundownersg.com

Sources: 1 & 2

How to get proper rest if you’re an HSP

Do you identify yourself as a highly sensitive person (HSP)? HSPs are usually very reactive to their environment and can be affected by everything from noise to temperatures and even the texture of fabrics.

Scientifically known as sensory processing sensitivity (SPS), the trait causes HSPs to have an overactive nervous system which leads them to be:

Nervous by change
More stirred by emotions
Overburdened by crowds
Easily frightened by loud noises
Deeply induced by the arts, music, and movies
Concerned with things like tickling fabrics, intense lights, or powerful perfumes

If you’re an HSP or know someone who’s one, getting quality shuteye at night can be challenging. Here’s how to get proper rest if you’re an HSP.

#1: Prepare a cosy sleep sanctuary

For an HSP, the environment plays a massive role in getting your brain to prepare for shutdown. That is why designing a cosy sleep sanctuary can help your body to ease into slumber.

Bianca Acevedo, PhD, a researcher at the University of California, suggests HSPs inject a sense of home, familiarity, and security in their bedroom. It could mean hitting the sack with your furry buddy or as simple as keeping a picture of a loved one by the bedside.

HSPs can also consider making these physical adjustments:

Investing in a white noise machine
Switch to comfy pillows, bedsheets, and mattresses
Keeping sleeping spaces dark and cool, ideally around 18°C

#2: Use your intuition to find your sleep pattern

Image Credits: mariamitchell.com.au

According to Annie Miller, cognitive behavioural therapy for insomnia (CBT-I) psychotherapist at DC Metro Sleep & Psychotherapy, every person’s sleeping habits are different.

Since HSPs are highly intuitive, use that to your advantage and find your sleeping pattern. Not everyone requires eight hours of sleep a day. Some can function even with six, so do not force your body to stick to the “norm”.

But if there is one tip to follow, Miller advises HSPs to have a fixed wake-up time. In other words, practise getting up at the exact same time every day.

#3: Develop stress-reducing routines throughout the day

HSPs can be highly stimulated as they go about their day. As such, it’s important to develop routines to reduce anxiety throughout the day.

Since most people know themselves best, figure out your triggers and implement habits around them to lessen their impact. Here are some routines you can try:

Use your bed only for sex and sleep
Allocate a few hours of me-time daily
Take walks in the park during the day
Practise relaxing yoga or home meditation
Get out of bed after 20 minutes if you can’t fall asleep
Introduce short five-minute breaks during office hours
Keep clocks and electronics away from your bedroom
Reduce coffee, sugar, and alcohol intake, especially before bed
Load up on nourishing foods like cheese, avocados, and fatty fish

Ultimately, we encourage you to speak with a mental health professional if you’ve been self-regulating for the longest time ever but to no avail.

Cardiologists in Singapore: Costs and other information

Heart disease is becoming more prevalent with the various health and lifestyle changes in the body. Singapore is one of the best countries to consider for a trained and certified cardiologist.

Cardiologists in Singapore are found in both private and public hospitals, with each having different costs, depending on the treatment. Cardiologists aim to diagnose and treat heart conditions and disorders. Severe cases are referred to cardiac surgeons, who consider the patient and check whether they are eligible for surgery.

But what causes heart disease?

Various factors cause heart diseases across people of all ages:

Lack of physical exercise

Inactivity can lead to heart disease as the body is not operational in a way that aids a healthy heart. A dormant lifestyle makes the arteries clog up with fat deposits which block the heart vessels.

Smoking

Smoking damages the arteries and leads to heart blockages, in addition it raised both cholesterol and blood pressure

High cholesterol

High cholesterol is part genetic and part lifestyle. High levels of LDL cholesterol enter the artery walls and lead to blockages, angina, heart attacks and strokes.

High blood pressure

High blood pressure is mainly a lifestyle disease. It damages the arteries and leads to heart attack and stroke.

Costs of a cardiologist in Singapore

Patients seeking cardiologists in Singapore need to book appointments before reaching the country. Private hospitals do not require appointments to be booked months in advance. Public hospitals have a long waiting time for consultations, with some requiring the patient to wait upto six weeks to get a slot booked for consultation.

Cardiologists in private clinics cost roughly $200 to $500 for the first consultation. This is followed up by medications and subsequent consultations which can make the costs from $800 to $1200. Public hospitals can cost $250 to $400 depending on the qualification of the cardiologist.

Cardiology treatment in Singapore offers residents the option of subsidized care. The patient should however be a citizen of Singapore or a permanent resident, with a referral letter from a health officer.

What to consider when looking for a cardiologist in Singapore

The numerous cardiologists in Singapore may make foreigners and residents alike become overwhelmed by the choice they have to make. There are a few pointers to consider when looking for a cardiologist in Singapore:

Fully equipped clinic

When choosing the right cardiologist, you would want one with a fully equipped clinic, as they will be able to diagnose and treat the right ailment and offer specialized services. These clinics can offer specialized and comprehensive assessments for all cardiac conditions. A fully equipped clinic will consider the patient’s history for previous cardiac-related illnesses, and assist the cardiologist in deriving possible treatments and management options.

Cardiologist credentials

The cardiologists in Singapore undergo extensive training to ensure they are the best in their craft. As a result, cardiologists finish medical school and gain extensive experience that is widely sought after worldwide. Before booking a consultation with your cardiologist of choice, it is best to check on their certification levels. Checking their patient success rates is also vital in ensuring that you access the best cardiologist.

Location

Checking the location of the clinic is important. A clinic that is easily accessible and available for walk-ins or emergencies will be a much viable option for both foreigners and residents.

Convenience

Different cardiologists have their unique way of running their clinics. Some are available seven days a week and can be requested for emergency services on call, while others require prior booking and consultation. Patients who require diagnostic testing and screening are also given their results on the same day. It is important to consider these aspects before booking a specific cardiologist. Other cardiologists also offer same-day bookings which are extremely convenient for specialized and referral cases.

Adoption of the latest technology

The clinic needs to have the latest technology in place, with the cardiologist being able to incorporate modern technology into treatments. By using the latest technology advancements, the right treatment options are identified, with minimal turnaround time and maximum efficiency. The age of tele-consultation has enabled the influence of technology to influence the interaction between doctor and patient. Cardiologists are also embracing holistic cardiology care and services which combine the influence of modern medicine and holistic influences to give patients maximum health care. Clinics that engage with the patients before their arrival promise efficiency and a personalized healthcare system.

Personalized medical care

When seeking the right cardiologist, it is best to get one who is passionate about their patients and aims to give their patients the best personalized care available. A cardiologist who seeks to understand the patient’s needs and listen to their ailments will be in a better position to understand the minute details that define their condition. In doing so, the cardiologist can advise the patient on the right treatment plan according to their needs. The medical staff should also be friendly and receptive to the patient’s concerns and queries. This in turn assists the patient to open up and gain confidence, making them more receptive to treatment.

Payment plans

It is advisable to consider the payment plans for the cardiology treatment before booking an appointment. Foreigners are advised to call in advance and enquire whether their insurance plans will cover their treatment before booking an appointment and traveling to Singapore. This prevents disappointment and helps the patient prepare before their treatment. Residents of Singapore can also check their eligibility for insurance cover, to see the treatment areas that are covered.