Author: Anna Agoncillo

The term gaslighting has its roots in the 1944 film Gaslight, where Ingrid Bergman plays a wife manipulated into questioning her own sanity by a scheming husband. Psychologists have adopted the word to describe a subtle yet destructive form of manipulation decades later. Moreover, gaslighting is no longer confined to toxic relationships at home. It has become a workplace reality, one that is often invisible until the damage has already been done.

In Singapore, where workplace culture often prizes harmony and respect to hierarchy, gaslighting can be particularly insidious. Employees who find themselves on the receiving end may initially dismiss their feelings, wondering if they are simply overthinking. They might sense that something is wrong but cannot put their finger on it. Over time, the constant second-guessing erodes their confidence. The once-competent professional may begin to feel undermined, excluded, or even non-credible in the eyes of colleagues. Productivity suffers. Anxiety grows. Some end up at the doctor’s clinic, signed off with work-related stress.

Gaslighting in the workplace is more than bad behavior. It is an abuse of power! It can take the form of a manipulative co-worker who thrives on control or a manager who deliberately undermines subordinates. In some cases, it is cultural, flowing down from corporate leadership that normalizes intimidation as a management style. Whatever its form, it is always corrosive.

What makes gaslighting so difficult to identify is its subtlety. Meetings may suddenly be rescheduled without explanation. Crucial information might be drip-fed or deliberately withheld, setting up an employee to fail. Policies are applied selectively, strict when it suits management, conveniently ignored when it does not. In some workplaces, minutes are mysteriously missing, grievances go unrecorded, and investigations are predetermined long before they begin. At its most extreme, employees find themselves facing sudden suspensions, surprise terminations, or being quietly sidelined under the guise of redundancy.

Those who have been gaslighted often describe the same experiences: the sinking feeling of being excluded from conversations and decisions that directly affect their work, the sting of public criticism disguised as feedback, and the confusion of hearing gossip or fabricated complaints that cannot be traced back to any real source. Over time, they begin to doubt their own judgment, unsure whether their perceptions are valid or distorted. That uncertainty is exactly what the gaslighter thrives on.

The psychology behind such behavior is revealing. Gaslighters often have deep-seated insecurities, masked by constant attempts to highlight the flaws of others. Their sense of control is tied to the ability to manipulate, and they struggle when they are not in charge. While not every gaslighter acts with malicious intent, the impact on the target is the same: a slow erosion of confidence and trust.

An employee who feels consistently undermined may withdraw, stop sharing ideas, or leave an organization altogether. The company, in turn, loses talent and credibility. What might appear as a single instance of misconduct is often part of a larger pattern that reflects the culture of the organization itself.

Recognizing gaslighting is the first step toward addressing it. If you often find yourself questioning your reality at work, feeling excluded from necessary discussions, or constantly hearing negative accounts of your performance without clear evidence, it may be worth pausing to ask whether the problem lies not with you but with the environment around you. Gaslighting thrives in silence, but once named, it loses much of its power.

Sources: 1 & 2

 

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