Why being strict with your teenager may make them more rebellious

rebellious teenager

As your child reaches their teenage years, one of the most crucial things you can do is find the right balance between being strict and being too lenient.

It’s a common conception that being stricter will make them more obedient, but this isn’t always the case. In fact, it’s possible that being too strict can make them more rebellious. So, what’s the right way to handle teenage rebellion?

Stay on this page for some tips.

The teenage brain is wired for rebellion

So you’re thinking about being stricter with your teenager? Well, you’re not alone. A lot of parents feel like they need to be more stringent to keep their kids in line.

But here’s the thing: the teenage brain is wired for rebellion. It’s during these years that kids are trying to figure out who they are, and they’re naturally going to push against the boundaries that you set for them.

So what can you do? Well, first of all, be consistent. You can’t be stern one day and then let your kid do whatever they want the next day. And you also need to be willing to listen and have a conversation with them. Strictness may get you short-term results, but in the long run, it’s going to be a lot harder to rebuild that trust once it’s been broken.

Teens who feel they have no say are more likely to rebel
parents arguing with their teen daughter

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If you feel like you’re constantly at war with your teenager, it may be because you’re being too rigid. Believe it or not, this can make them more rebellious.

Teens who feel like they have no say in what goes on in their lives are the ones who are most likely to rebel. So if you want to avoid all the drama, try negotiating with them instead of issuing orders.

It’s not easy, but it’s worth a try. The key is to find a compromise that everyone can live with. You may not always get what you want, but at least your teenager will feel like they’re being heard. And that’s a good start.

Avoid rebellion by building an open and honest relationship with your teenager

This means taking an interest in their lives, talking to them about the things that are important to them, and listening to what they have to say. It also means setting boundaries and rules that they need to follow and making sure that they are held accountable.

When they know that you’re there for them and that you’re not going to put up with any nonsense, they’re less likely to rebel against your rules. So try not to stress too much about it—just be patient and keep on communicating with them, and you will eventually find common ground.

You might be wondering if it’s true that being stricter with your teenager will make them more rebellious. The answer, unfortunately, is yes. Teenagers naturally push the boundaries and test their parents’ limits. When you respond to their behavior with anger and punishment, it only makes them want to rebel more. Try to stay calm and consistent when interacting with your teenager, and find ways to compromise that work for both of you. This will help avoid unnecessary conflict and help them feel more secure in their relationship with you.


How to parent a rebellious teenager

a teenager smoking

Have you noticed that your teenager has started becoming defiant as they struggle to discover who they are and where they fit in society?

Yes, your lovely, affectionate child may seem alien to you now but that’s just part of the growing process. Prepare yourself as you may have to cope with further mood swings, rule-breaking, and other signs of a rebellious youth toward whatever authority figures present.

While coping with a rebellion may be draining, stressful, and plain challenging, there are methods to make it easier for all parties involved. You won’t be able to transform your kid with a snap of your fingers, but there are steps you can take to aid your teenager and yourself through this shift.

Here’s how to parent a rebellious teenager.


It may be quite irritating when children act rudely and disrespectfully toward their parents, teachers, or other people in authority. Regrettably, many people respond with rudeness and hostility, which is not the right way to approach the matter. You must mirror the conduct you wish to see as a grownup. Irrespective of what you teach, if your kid witnesses you behaving in a demeaning manner toward them, they will use it against you to justify their actions.

See the good
happy mother and daughter

Image Credits: swhelper.org

Positive feedback is a technique that may be used not only when your child is a preschooler, but also when he or she is a teenager. Make it a point to compliment your teenager on proper behavior. Showing your child that you are pleased, even if it is the tiniest action, can drive good conduct in the future.

Negative attention is sometimes the quickest form of attention for a headstrong teen to obtain. Your odds of your kid doing something right are limited if you just pay attention when he or she does something improper. Instead, focus on the positives, and the negative issues may go away.

Listen more than advice

The most effective technique to break past the barrier of teen disengagement is to listen more than you speak. When you provide counsel instead of listening more than 75% of the time, you’re interfering with a teen’s ability to take responsibility for their life.

Not to mention your body language. You’re not signaling that you’re aware of and sensitive if you’re preoccupied with anything or constantly scrolling on your smartphone. Put everything aside and focus on your child when conversing. However, some kids may be uneasy over eye contact and prefer to converse while looking away. If that’s the case, walking in the park or going for a short drive that does not involve direct eye contact may help.

Handling a rebellious teenager might feel like an absolute nightmare, but there is hope. Keep in mind that your teen’s early adulthood years are only a passing phase of his or her life. Communicating tenderly with your child now can pay off later in life by assisting him or her in developing appropriate coping skills and a better bond with you. Try the abovementioned tips and see if it works for you.