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Reasons Why Couples Argue About Money

Money issues are some of the main reasons why people end up in divorce court. Money is a touching subject that plays a vital role in any household. If you have enough money, you will be able to meet your basic needs and have some measure of happiness.

There are many reasons why couples have trouble communicating about money. Here are some of them:

#1: DIVERSE MONEY EXPERIENCES

Some Singaporeans have opportunities to learn money management skills growing up; many did not. Money is tight for some, so as adults, people may take steps to avoid the consequences of not having enough money.

How money matters were discussed and handled in previous relationships will affect how people handle their money in their current relationship. Learning how to make wise choices is important.

#2: DISSIMILAR COMMUNICATION STYLES

There are different communication styles that people typically use. While some are passive, others are aggressive. Passive communicators avoid expressing their thoughts and feelings about money. They often feel resentful, anxious, or even hopeless. Aggressive communicators overly express themselves in a powerful manner. These people dominate money conversations.

Lastly, assertive communicators share their thoughts and feelings respectfully. These people know how to listen and reflect on what they are hearing from the other person. Aim for this type of communication style.

#3: DIFFERING MONEY VALUES

When it comes to finances, we tend to spend money on things we value. For instance, a person who values security spends his money on insurance. If someone values freedom, he may throw caution to the wind with their money and spend impulsively.

We decide what our values are through experience, which means they could change throughout our lives. Some factors that influence our values include our educational background, culture, age, gender, socio-economic conditions, marital status, and other expectations.

#4: NEED FOR CONTROL

If you are in a relationship where both people want to be the head of finances, problems can ensue. Different ideas of how control looks like affects how we see our financial futures. Some of us have more controlling personalities than others. However, what if both of you are controlling?

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#5: INCOMPATIBLE SPENDING HABITS

If she likes to eat out and you like to cook at home, the two of you do not see eye to eye about how to spend money on food. Discuss household responsibilities and learn how each other feels. Find a middle ground where you both compromise.

#6: COMPETING SAVING HABITS

A saver and a spender can have different dynamics at home. The saver needs to understand that the spender wants to live a comfortable life, while the spender needs to be more careful and realistic with money.

#7: DISPARITIES IN INCOME

It can be challenging to get along if one person earns substantially more than the other. One of the best solutions for this situation is to let each person pay for bills based on the percentage of total income they earn (per month).

Do not let these seven elements become obstacles that get in the way of your relationship. Create a schedule for regular money discussions.

Sources: 1 & 2

4 Common Financial Problems In Long-Term Partnerships

Arguments about finances hamper many marriages and professional partnerships. It is no wonder that financial problems are the leading cause of divorce.

A committed couple who suffers from serious monetary problems typically face loads of stress and tension, which often translates to heated quarrels. Prevent a fueled fight by fully disclosing your financial circumstance to your partner. From time to time, check if your financial goals are still in sync.

#1: STUCK IN DEBT

From school loans to gambling addiction, many people come to the altar bearing their financial baggage. If a partner has an outstanding pile of debt and the other does not, this situation can ignite a conflict.

In such situations, people often take solace in knowing that debts are not carried over through the marriage. However, it is understandable to share the responsibilities over childcare and housing debts.

Acknowledging what you are getting yourself into can help you employ various strategies to pay off debt. Both partners must be non-judgmental and honest when discussing about their financial habits and debts. Use several tools and strategies soon after. Seek professional help when necessary.

#2: DIFFERENCES IN MONEY PERSONALITIES

Tension brought by money can be due to the opposing personalities and beliefs of two people. Personality towards money plays an important role in a couple’s marital bliss or lack thereof.

Imagine living in a home with a hoarder when you are a spender yourself. Or, living with someone who is risk-avoidant while you are a risk-taker. These opposing personalities can be mediated by empathy and compassion. Walk in the other person’s shoes to understand where he or she is coming from. Paying attention to your partner’s financial habits before and during matrimony can be beneficial too. Discuss about your financial views and habits to reach a level of understanding.

#3: LEVELS OF COMMITMENT

Whether the spotlight is on a romantic or a professional partnership, the commitment levels of each individual can be an issue. You need to clearly discuss what each partner is looking for. Let us take a business partnership as an example. Partner A wants to keep his full-time job and invest some funds to the business, while Partner B wants to fully dedicate his time and resources towards the business. Can you see the gap between these two?

When it comes to romantic relationships, two people may not be on the same page when it comes to commitment. Partner A wants to start a family, while Partner B is not yet ready. It is important to discuss the commitment levels before it is too late.

#4: DIFFERENCES IN FINANCIAL CONTRIBUTIONS

The nature of partnership is a struggle that many partnerships face. After all, not every partnership is split 50/50. The differences in financial contributions can yield many questions such as how the profits will be divided (i.e., professional partnership) or how clear these financial responsibilities are (i.e., romantic partnership).

These questions must be addressed at the end of the courting period. Thus, both parties will aim to eliminate lingering tensions as they move forward.

Sources: 1 & 2

How To Deal With 3 Divorce-Inducing Money Issues

In the hustle and bustle of the city life, Singaporeans are exposed to the high economic pressures. What makes this concrete jungle thrive? Money, of course. Putting matrimony into the mix makes things more complicated.

Managing money is a complex task fraught with emotion. It is natural that conflicts can arise from time to time. To keep your marriage and finances in tact, open communication and teamwork are essential. If only more couples are having regular conversations about money issues before and after walking down the aisle then, we will less likely to have divorces.

MONETARY IMBALANCE

What will happen when there is a massive earning gap between partners? Or, when a spouse comes from a wealthy family and the other came from humble beginnings? More so, living in a single-income household is not uncommon. Sometimes, the imbalance between two people creates power play.

When power play occurs, the person who earns the most dictate the spending habits of the other. He or she will have personal spending priorities in mind. The other partner simply complies.

Handling this situation is tricky. You can either make a pre-nuptial agreement or open a joint account. Nonetheless, marriage should be founded by cooperation in all aspects.

OPPOSING PERSONALITIES

In the list of reasons why couples divorce, money is among the top answers. Friction brought by money can be due to the opposing personalities of two people. Personality towards money plays a vital part in a couple’s marital bliss or the lack thereof.

Imagine living 24/7 with a hoarder when you are a spender yourself. Or, living with someone who is a risk-avoidant when you are a risk-taker yourself. To the extreme, you may live with someone who believes that the person who dies with the most money wins. These opposing personalities can be mediated by empathy. Walk in the other person’s shoes to understand where he or she is coming from. You may also adopt your spouse’s money habits for a month to see how it works. Paying attention to money habits before and during matrimony can be beneficial. Talking about your financial views and feelings can help put both of you at ease.

OVERWHELMING DEBT

From school loans to shopping addiction, many people come to the altar bearing a financial baggage. If one partner has an outstanding mountain of debt and the other does not, this situation can spark a conflict.

In such situations, people often take solace in knowing that debts are not carried over thru the marriage. However, it is understandable to share the responsibility over housing and child care debts.

Knowing what you are getting yourself into can help you decide how to deal with it. Both partners have to be honest and non-judgmental when discussing about their financial habits and bad records. Apply several payoff strategies soon after. And, seek professional help when needed.

Sources: 1 & 2

7 Efficient Ways To Cope With Money Stress

1. Whether it is dealing with your horrific credit card balance or realizing that you are barely crossing retirement, it is important to recognize what causes your anxiety. Spare at least 10 minutes of your time to write down your greatest financial problems at the moment.

2. Avoid making matters worse! Rather than being consumed by your negativity, keep a positive mindset. Your “stress umbrella” decreases as you take necessary actions. Believe that you can do it!

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3. If your financial woes come from the anticipation of unfortunate events, you are not alone! Many people exaggerate this act of anticipation. This is why you need to be involved with the present. Mindfulness in your current financial circumstance is the key.

4. Who says change is always easy? I recommend that you start with small changes to ease the transition. Employ seemingly small steps to restructure your finances. Move on to bigger changes, once you are completely settled. It is alright to experiences some bumps along the way. You may commit mistakes for a week but, remember to stick to your realistic plan.

5. A realistic plan includes a working budget. Figure out what you actually spend per day by writing your expenses down or by tracking them with the help of an app. Use these information to cut unnecessary expenses.

6. Saying that you do not make enough money is an excuse! Boost your wealth by making the most of the income you have. Spend your income wisely.

7. After everything has been said and done, your last resort is seeking professional help. A number of experts offer free consultations or reduced rates for their services. For instance, you may type “debt services Singapore” in a search engine and browse what comes up. Choose a company that seems reputable through online reviews and peer opinions.

Image Credits: pixabay.com

Sources: 1 &2

Powerful Tips To Conquer Your Financial Stress

Losing your primary source of income, drowning in a sea of debt, and other money problems can affect both your financial circumstance and your self-esteem. It is normal to feel anxious, stressed, and worried when times are hard but that does not mean that you are suffering from depression or anxiety disorders.

In fact, according to an international poll by Reader’s Digest back in 2009, Singapore was one of the countries most worried about money. When not managed, the financial stress can be detrimental to one’s health.

Here are some tips to conquer your inner beast:

BREATHE IN AND OUT

Avoid excessive thinking by slowing down. Whenever you feel like you are going to burst, calm yourself down. Breathe in and out, hold your breath for a while, breathe slowly and repeat. A higher form of this practice is called meditation.

If you need a guided tutorial to aid you through meditation, you can download the free “Take a Break! Guided Meditations for Stress Relief” app on your iOS or Android device. You can choose to listen with or without the music as you listen to the 7-13 minutes of guided meditation. No prior experience required!

LIVING IN THE PRESENT

Several financial woes come from the anticipation of unfortunate future events. Sometimes, these anticipation is more than just pure exaggeration. This is why you must remind yourself that you are living in the present moment – not in the past, nor in the future.

Stay active in the present by being completely in control. Keep your C.V. updated, pay the bills on time, and jog outdoors!

RECOGNIZE YOUR STRENGTH

In general, the uncertainty and perceived lack of control can make the person feel more stressful. But as I said, you are living in the present moment where you are in absolute control of your actions and your thoughts. Recognize that your decisions exist for you to improve any financial dilemma.

SHARE YOUR EXPERIENCES

When your financial circumstances is too hard to handle, seek refuge from the people who can offer you the listening ears (e.g. friends, family, support group or financial professional). These people can offer sound solutions and make you feel better. Personally, I find this tip therapeutic as I can freely express and let go of my worries and share it to a person who affirms and understands me the most.

COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS

Before you go to sleep or the after you wake up, think of three things you are thankful about. This changes your focus from your financial stress to the beautiful things that you might have taken for granted. It does not have to be a big and lavish thing as you can be thankful for the picturesque sunset.

Image Credits: pixabay.com (License: CC0 Public Domain)

Practicing this activity often will help you gain a positive outlook in life and an increase in overall satisfaction.

Sources: 1, 2, & 3

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