Navigating the ‘we don’t want kids’ talk with parents & in-laws

So you just got married and your parents and in-laws are asking you, “When are you going to give us grandchildren ah?”

You and your spouse quietly exchange a look and think, “Err… never ever.”

Yes, this kind of conversation is awkward.

You may be tempted to say “Aiya, we don’t want kids lah, don’t ask us anymore.”

But the older generations might think that you’re being selfish. So how can you be tactful and respectful, and at the same time explain your reasons?

Keep reading.

Preparing & initiating the conversation

If you and your spouse don’t want to have kids, it’s not a long-term solution to just keep quiet/avoid the topic altogether.

First, you need to reflect on why you don’t want children. Maybe you want to focus on your career, or you have health concerns, or you just don’t feel ready. Whatever it is, make sure you and your spouse are on the same page and can explain your reasons clearly.

Next, anticipate what kind of questions or objections your parents and in-laws might have. They might say things like “But who will take care of you when you’re old?” or “Don’t you want to continue the family line?” Prepare your answers so you don’t get caught off guard.

Lastly, choose a good time and place to have the conversation. Don’t just blurt it out during a family dinner or when they’re in a bad mood. Maybe suggest going to a quiet cafe or having a private chat at home. Remember to be respectful but firm in your decision.

Stay focused on your reasons

Share with them your own beliefs and motivations.

Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty or ashamed for not wanting kids.

Also, some people think that if you don’t have kids, then you must be selfish and will end up lonely when you age.

But that’s not true at all. You can still have a fulfilling life without kids, and focus on your mental, relationship, and financial stability.

Image Credits: unsplash.com

So, don’t be afraid to stand up for your decision. Just be respectful and understanding, and help them see that being child-free can be a positive choice.

Addressing concerns and objections

Talking to parents and in-laws about not wanting to have kids is like walking on eggshells but it’s good to address concerns and objections.

Don’t say “Aiyah, you old school lah”, but instead say “I know that having grandchildren is important to you, but…”

Then, share that this decision is the best for you and your partner and that you’ve had a serious talk about it before coming to a decision.

Talking about “we don’t want kids” with parents and in-laws can be taboo but sometimes, we need to be honest with our feelings and circumstances. Maybe they will ask why or try to convince you otherwise, but just stand firm and explain your reasons. There’s no need to argue or fight, just listen and respect each other’s preferences. At the end of the day, it’s your life and your decision. Don’t let other people pressure you into something you don’t want and then regret it later.

5 Creative Ways To Teach Your Child How To Count

Educators usually begin teaching counting and basic numerical concepts to children in Kindergarten. However, you can begin to teach your child these concepts earlier on. The skills you teach your child can search as a foundation that your little one can draw upon when teachers introduce numerical concepts in Kindergarten. Moreover, counting is the foundation of money management.

Teaching children to count can be easy and fun! Use these simple strategies to develop your child’s fondness for numbers.

1: BLOCKS SORTING

Sorting, the application of logical thinking, is a natural part of counting objects. Sorting, classifying, comparing, and organizing information are the pillars of complex mathematical decision-making and thinking skills.

Keep things engaging by asking your child to recognize his or her set of blocks. The process of sorting is the process of grouping objects that share the same attributes. Ask your child to arrange the blocks by shape or color. Then, count each category.

2: MODELING ROLE-PLAY

For children aged 3 to 4, you can practice counting by using common toys. Stuffed animals and stacking rings can be useful for your role-play. Let your child play with your while you are counting the objects together. Sneak the learning in playtime rather than focusing on academics. You can also teach the color names as you count these types of toys.

3: COUNT AND EAT

If your child is motivated by snacks, you can use this technique to work on his or her counting skills. Use your child’s favorite snacks and have them count how many you are giving them. You can let your child eat the snacks with every correct answer.

4: STAMP ON

Use your child’s artistic side to your advantage by having your toddler place stamps on a piece of paper. State the number you want them to show and let them stamp the corresponding object. Make sure they are using their index finger to point to each stamp as they assign it a number.

5: DOTTED CARDS

Dotted cards are made with paper and colored dot stickers. You can print this template for your convenience. Children can count aloud as they place each numerical counter on the dots. Alternatively, you can count and match the number of dots on the dominoes.

Sources: 1 & 2

How To Teach Children About Financial Choices

As a parent, you must guide your children’s path to financial independence. Fortunately for you, there are available online tools that can help. Start knowing your teen’s financial personality through the Financial Identity Quiz. It is a research-based tool for teens and young adults aged 16 to 24.

After determining your child’s designated identity, you must discuss its advantages and disadvantages. Give some scenarios to help them decide better.

IDENTITY 1: THE PATHFINDER

As the name suggests, Pathfinders are committed to explore their own financial paths. This does nor mean that they do not need your guidance! From time to time, you must encourage thoughtful discussions about their financial goals. Where are they headed?

To give a distinct financial path, you must challenge your child to look for a positive financial model. It can be a professor, a blogger, an author, and so on. Discuss the steps taken by your child’s financial model. How does he or she plan to achieve the same path? Start by applying similar money principles as your financial model.

IDENTITY 2: THE NOMAD

Some people know their direct paths to success and others are still exploring. Not all those who wonder are lost, but the Nomad needs a little structure in his or her financial life. Help shape your child’s financial habits by finding an ideal financial path together.

Ask your child to do his or her research on a regular basis. You can train this by giving scenarios. For instance, ask what he will do if he showed up to an event without enough cash. Will he panic when faced with late fees via a credit card billing statement? Will he ask for your help when he missed a deadline for a school activity? Also, where will he buy gas when all the petrol stations are closed? These experiences can turn to teachable moments about financial obligations.

IDENTITY 3: TENDERFOOT

You may know a friend or two who has a Tenderfoot approach to money. A Tenderfoot has the most to learn when it comes to making financial decisions. You see, this type is so careful and conservative. This can be a good thing! However, being too careful can make you miss out on other opportunities. You need to take necessary and responsible risks along the way!

Help your children make their own financial decisions by asking what they will do when they are living on their own. Will they have a roommate or live with each other? What if they had an unforeseen medical bill or job loss? How will they raise enough money to survive? Discuss what they will do when help from a parent or a guardian is hard to reach. They have to take risks on their own.

IDENTITY 4: TROOPER

Last but not the least is the personality that echoes you the most – the Trooper. It is flattering to have your child follow in your footsteps. However, you also want to guide your beloved to make his or her own mark. What would be right for you might not be right for your child. Help your child to take ownership in money matters through discussions.

Image Credits:pixabay.com

Ask your child about the last time when he or she acted independently. How did it turn out? What was the problem and solution? How did he or she felt after taking the bold action alone? Then, make your child write down a list of personal priorities that he or she would accomplish alone. These priorities will be best accompanied by research. Help your child know which decision is the best one.

Source: smartaboutmoney

Entertaining Money Activities For Kids

Financial literacy starts to develop while you are young. Discussing financial skills with your children through stories and practice is crucial to their development. Aside from this, they can learn through the examples you set. Hence, you have to find entertaining yet strategic ways to introduce some money concepts.

Teaching children how to count money does not have to be a snooze fest! Pass down positive financial matters through these money activities:

#1: CREATE FLUFFY ANIMAL BANKS

Introduce the concept of saving directed to a specific goal. Simply ask your children what they want to buy with their money. You may provide recommendations of the toys, video games, gadgets, and stationery items that they shall save money for. After identifying the end goal, provide your child with an assortment of art materials that they can use to create their own animal bank. Below are just some of the suggested materials that you can use:

a. hot glue gun
b. scissors
c. googly eyes
d. egg cartons
e. milk cans
f. empty coffee cups
g. baby food jars
h. newspaper
i. glitter glue
j. clear glue
k. markers and pencils

This project also presents an opportunity for you to introduce the importance of recycling. Gather recyclable supplies and be as creative as possible. Afterwards, you may have your children draw the specific item on the side of the animal bank. Through this, they will be motivated to get what they want.

#2: DIG THROUGH THE SLIME

Children love messy play! However, adults have a hard time cleaning it up. What if I told you that you can conduct a “messy play” activity with little mess? Well, start by buying a clear slime. Slime consists of non-toxic viscous material such as guar gum. Squishy and gooey are just some of the words that can best describe this toy.

Slime is a great sensory toy. Sensory toys are designed to tap the child’s five senses. By using slime, you can introduce new financial concepts by encouraging exploration. You can help your child understand the world around him or her by putting coins inside the slime. Ask your child to sort all the coins that he or she digs up. Interestingly, you may join your child as slime can have a calming effect on an adult. It shifts the focus from the demands of work to the unique texture of this toy.

Image Credits: stillplayingschool.com

#3: DRAW YOUR OWN NOTES

As a preschool teacher, I have witnessed how fond most kids are of scribbling and illustrating. They want to draw on different papers, tables, walls, and mirrors. Do not get me started with what they do when they are handed with a paint brush! Put this artistic energy to good use by asking your children to draw their own “Singapore notes”.

Encourage them to put the faces of each family member. This will evoke a fun reflection of how your child sees the people around him or her. Provide colorful papers with a measurement of 5″ by 2″. Then lay other art materials such as rulers, pencils, colored markers, and wavy scissors. Use these notes to help your child practice the basics of mathematics and the importance of currency.

#4: UPGRADE ON THE FIDGET SPINNER

For some reason, most boys are attracted to spinning objects. These spinning objects provide a distraction that can preoccupy them for countless of minutes. Mimic this effect by creating a coin spinner!

Start by getting an empty cereal box or any cardboard. Then, gather your hot glue gun, markers, pencils, and dollar coins. Use a cup to perfectly trace a circle along the cardboard. Cut accordingly. Then, cut a slit in the center that resembles the exact measurement of a dollar coin. Put the dollar in the center with the help of a hot glue gun. When you are done, you can easily peel off the glue without damaging the coin.

Image Credits: frugalfun4boys.com

Sources: 1, 2, & 3

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Preparing & initiating the conversation

Stay focused on your reasons

Addressing concerns and objections

1: BLOCKS SORTING

2: MODELING ROLE-PLAY

3: COUNT AND EAT

4: STAMP ON

5: DOTTED CARDS

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