Some answers to your questions about safe sex during pregnancy

asian-young-pregnant-woman-with-her-husband

Being pregnant is tough.

But it’s even more challenging to keep up with the sex drive, for both you and your partner. Whether you’re a first-time dad looking for some answers to your questions on sex during pregnancy or a mum-to-be looking to spice things up while expecting, this article might help.

Here are some common questions and answers about safe sex during pregnancy.

#1: Is it safe to have sex during pregnancy?
man waiting for a woman to enter the bedroom

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In short, yes. But if you’ve been advised otherwise by your doctor, heed the medical professionals’ opinions.

We’re glad to have Aleece Fosnight’s opinion on this. Fosnight is a physician assistant and sex counsellor in urology, women’s health, and sexual medicine. She shares that the uterus may shift a little during penetration, and the mum will feel it.

Now, don’t freak out. Think of the uterus as a mobile home for your little bean. “The baby is super protected and has its own filter system that’s really selective about what goes in and comes out,” Fosnight highlights.

Sex during pregnancy is safe unless the lady has incompetent cervix or placenta previa and need to let the pelvic rest. Read more about pelvic rest here.

#2: Will pregnancy sex cause miscarriage?
a pregnant woman in despair

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Many believe that having sex and orgasms might lead to early labour or cause a miscarriage. This is not true. A study done in 2011 on sex in pregnancy reveals that sex doesn’t induce premature labour in low-risk pregnancies.

According to the NHS, your partner’s penis cannot penetrate beyond your vagina. Thus, this means that the penis will not hurt the baby. However, it may lightly bump onto the baby protected behind the cervix, uterus, and amniotic fluid. But it’s no massive cause for concern.

Stephanie Buehler, an author, psychologist, and certified sex therapist adds that some couples have intercourse up until the woman goes into labour. Parties can do as they please if they are comfortable with it.

#3: Is bleeding after sex normal?
pregnancy-and-early-bleeding

Image Credits: wehavekids.com

Most of the time, post-sex light spotting or bleeding shouldn’t be a concern. It could happen because of an increase in the superficial veins and capillaries in the cervix and vaginal area. These capillaries are often very delicate, and even the slightest friction can cause them to rupture during sex.

But if there’s one thing you can do, it is to journal down the blood colours – whether it is bright red, deep red, brown, or a mixture of it.

With that said, expectant mothers who are spotting blood over days or weeks after sex should consult a doctor. It could be a case of placenta previa. Mayo Clinic identifies this phenomenon as a situation where the “baby’s placenta partially or totally covers the mother’s cervix — the outlet for the uterus”.

“It’s always best to talk with one’s physician regarding any concerns,” Buehler advises.

#4: Should sex hurt during pregnancy?
an expectant couple sitting on a bench

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By right, sex should not hurt during pregnancy. “Sex should never hurt, and it’s best to talk openly,” Buehler says.

But by left, it can occur due to certain conditions. Julie Lamppa, a certified nurse-midwife at Mayo Clinic, notes that bladder infections, yeast infections, or bacterial vaginosis are some culprits leading to painful intercourse.

If it hurts too much, know that intimacy doesn’t always mean intercourse must happen.

Dennis Sugrue, PhD, past president of the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists, sheds light on the issue. “Stroking and caressing, and sometimes just getting naked together and sharing the way that vulnerability feels, can help keep bonds of intimacy strong between partners – even if intercourse isn’t occurring.”

#5: Is there anything sexual that’s unsafe?
holding a rose in handcuffs

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Some of you parents-to-be must be wondering about BDSM.

For folks who aren’t exactly sure what BDSM is, Cosmopolitan describes BDSM as a term used to describe these sex elements: bondage and discipline, domination and submission, sadism and masochism.

While light BDSM may be okay, using rope or any tight forms of constraints around the abdominal area should be avoided. 

Dr Corey Babb, an OBGYN and Professor at Oklahoma State University, tells us that some couples should avoid aggressive nipple play as nipple stimulation can cause the release of oxytocin (a contraction-causing hormone) from the brain. This is especially so for women who are between 34 to 39 weeks pregnant.

You may want to read more about BDSM during pregnancy here.

#6: What are the best sex positions to try out?
pregnancy sex positions

Image Credits: babycenter.com

Even without BDSM, intercourse can still feel wonderful if both of you engage in positions that help maintain the belly’s pressure and weight.

Here are 12 pregnancy sex positions to try as advised by medical professionals.

First Trimester
  • Scissor
  • X-Files
  • Cross Buttocks
  • Edge-of-Couch Missionary
Second Trimester
  • Doggy Style
  • LeapFrog
  • The Hot Seat
  • Cowgirl
  • Spider
Third Trimester
  • Spooning
  • Reverse Cowgirl
  • Table Top

Want a visual illustration of how to work the above moves? Click here to view the positions.

Sex drive changes during pregnancy are normal
expectant parents

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The ebbs and flows of your sex drive during pregnancy is normal. On days you might get the full steam ahead while at times you just want to lie in bed and be alone.

Yes, hormones are to be blamed in this case. For those who are engaging in more sex than ever, great for you! But expectant mothers with a lack of libido should not feel guilty at all. Have an honest conversation with your partner about it and read up on ways to keep sex alive while preggers.

This too, shall pass. Here’s wishing all expectant mothers a joyful pregnancy journey and a smooth delivery to come!

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Financial Checklist For Expectant Parents

The late Janet Reno once said: “I have learned that raising children is the single most difficult thing in the world to do. It takes hard work, love, luck, and a lot of energy. It is the most rewarding experience that you can ever have.”

Creating and nurturing a baby in Singapore is no walk in the park! Encountering sleepless nights, medical scares, and embarrassing moments are unavoidable. One is never completely prepared for what is about to come. However, you can start planning for your future by considering this financial checklist.

#1: DRAFT YOUR PRENATAL BUDGET

You are about to bring life into this exciting and challenging world. Tackle each day with ease by knowing how much you will be spending in the next couple of months. There are many lifestyle adjustments that come with having a baby. Include the food expenses, medical costs, insurance contributions, and so on.

Be honest with yourself when shopping for baby items. Do you really need a trendy stroller with an LCD control panel? Set a tangible line between what is necessary and what is forgivable. For instance, you can save on the disposable diapers by converting to the cloth diapers. Or, you may revamp an old drawer into a changing table. Use your creativity when maximizing your dollars and spend within your bounds.

#2: DETERMINE THE AMOUNT OF YOUR RESERVE

Becoming a preschool teacher made me realize that significant things can happen when you leave a toddler for several seconds. I am not exaggerating. One student may be chewing on the toys while you are trying to get groom the other. I can still recall when I was curious about the air conditioner and ended up with several cuts on my fingers. Being prepared for your baby’s potential accidents is a must!

I recommend that you take a look at your financial reservoir (or emergency fund). Having at least six months’ worth of living expenses covered is a good start point.

#3: UNDERSTAND THE HEALTH INSURANCE’S SCOPE

It is no secret that having a baby in Singapore is expensive, even if you have health insurance. Navigate your attention into the prenatal care, labor, and newborn costs. You need to understand which expenses your insurance will pay for you. There are diverse maternity insurance packages available on the market now! One is the OCBC MaxMaternity Care. It is the first maternity insurance plan that covers its clients as early as 13 weeks into their pregnancy. They will cover your costs for specific types of pregnancy complications.

Aside from understanding the scope of your policy, you must include your baby in your primary health insurance. You can typically change your records within 30 to 60 days after delivery. Do it as soon as possible as you do not want to be caught with an ill newborn and no coverage!

#4: IDENTIFY YOUR CHILDCARE ARRANGEMENTS

We are lucky to be blessed with childcare options ranging from a conservative preschool to an eclectic day care centre. If both you and your spouse are working full-time, recognize that a large number of your monthly costs will go to childcare (i.e., sometimes even more than your rent). This is why you must weigh your options and alternatives. By alternatives, I am pertaining to the relatives that can aid you along the way.

It is an acceptable idea for Asian families to ask for help from their parents. The grandparents-to-be may be available for two days a week. This could help you lessen the financial load. If you wish to hire a nanny, be sure to check the government fees and regulations surrounding it.

Image Credits: pixabay.com

Image Credits: pixabay.com

The cost of having a baby does not stop when he or she goes to school! So, consider formulating a long-term financial plan beyond the first few years.

Sources:1,2,3 &4

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4 Must-Read Books On Pregnancy (Under S$40)

1. THE PREGNANCY COUNTDOWN BOOK: NINE MONTHS OF PRACTICAL TIPS, USEFUL ADVICE, AND UNCENSORED TRUTHS

The eye-catching title of the book bears it all. Expect practical advice as the authors take you on a nine-month journey towards parenthood. Singaporean moms will enjoy reading this book because it avoids sugarcoating. The tone of the book is not too harsh either. Simply, it gets straight to the point!

I am mostly impressed about three parts. Firstly, it elaborates on the pregnancy issues that you are probably afraid to ask (e.g., stretch marks or eating regimen). Secondly, it pays attention on the relationship dynamics between the husband and wife. Lastly, it seeks to educate the expectant fathers on the trials that the pregnant partner is about to face.

Get the uncensored truth for as low as S$24.25 at Popular Bookstore.

2. MAYO CLINIC GUIDE TO A HEALTHY PREGNANCY

If you are a health-conscious individual like me, chances are, you have read several Mayo Clinic articles. Mayo Clinic is a non-profit medical research group based in Minnesota. The institution provides free online resources for everyone. The professionalism manifested in their website translates to the information packed inside the “Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy” book. This elaborate book functions as a reference guide, which you can browse from time to time.

The book includes three main sections: the pregnancy, the childbirth, and the newborn. The first part gives you week-by-week explanation of the changes that your body and mind will go through. Also, it shows the complete illustration of the baby’s development.

What will draw you closer to the book is its ability to give you informed decision by highlighting several pros and cons on important topics such as breastfeeding. Stand your ground after getting this 36-dollar book!

3. THE EXPECTANT FATHER: FACTS, TIPS, AND ADVICE FOR DADS-TO-BE

Let us turn the tables around by focusing on one of the best pregnancy books for dads-to-be. I have to admit! There is a limited amount of pregnancy books tailored for men, but The Expectant Father is highly recommended. The author of the book speaks from his firsthand experience as a dad. This makes the book personal and relevant.

Most expectant dads are full of anxiety about the whole process at hand, but this book aims to ease your worries. The organized chapters of this book includes dealing with labor as well as the potential emergencies that can arise. Hopefully, you can prepare for all types of scenarios.

What you will enjoy most about this book is its witty and humorous tone. Grab your own copy for only S$18.32.

4. BE PREPARED: A PRACTICAL HANDBOOK FOR NEW DADS

It seems like humor is a common writing style for authors who offer pregnancy books that are tailored for dads. This is not a bad thing! Aside from humor, Be Prepared boasts a wide array of topics from basic newborn care to selecting the ideal stroller.

Are you wondering how to successfully read your baby’s temperature? Or, do you need a step-by-step illustration on how to swaddle a newborn? All these are covered by the book. You read that right! This 29-dollar book is suitable for men who have no previous experience on fatherhood.

Image Credits: pixabay.com

Image Credits: pixabay.com

[Disclaimer: Due to the public’s clamor for these helpful books, local bookstores occasionally run out of stocks. You can either wait patiently for the re-stock or consider the alternative options of purchasing. Thank you!]

Sources: 1 & 2

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