5 Money Conversations to Have Before Getting Married

Getting married changes your financial life in significant ways. Not only are you opening your doors to someone or sharing your expenses, but you are also opening yourself to legal changes. While your credit score remains individualized, your future choices could be changed by what your spouse brings into the table.

#1: MONEY BELIEFS

Does your partner value money? You will get information about your partner by how they manage financial successes and setbacks.

Talking about your financial problems can reveal how you fix and learn from your mistakes. Hearing about your spouse’s successes can also reveal how he or she works toward achieving goals.

#2: FINANCIAL BACKGROUNDS

Many financial beliefs and habits are developed in childhood and carried over into adulthood. Hearing about your financial histories can pinpoint underlying patterns.

You can build a foundation of mutual understanding about your financial backgrounds as time passes. It is important to gain clarity on why the other does what they do with their money.

#3: JOINT ACCOUNTS

Should you combine bank accounts when getting married? Or shall you have separate accounts and income streams?

You can either split the bills and expenses or divide it based on each other’s income. Maintaining separate accounts can be possible while having a joint checking account to cover shared costs such as your monthly utility bills.

#4: FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITIES

As a team, you need to work out how you will divide the financial responsibilities. If your partner is more analytical, he or she can research on retirement investing options. Set your roles regularly and give feedback.

Do not forget to check in before making major purchases and increase your communication when there is a change in cash flow.

#5: OTHER OBLIGATIONS

Do you have other financial obligations such as running a business or supporting your sibling? The whole picture of a person’s financial circumstance cannot always be captured by personal net worth.

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Thus, you must disclose and discuss other financial obligations you each may have. Remember – you are a team!

Sources: 1 & 2

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5 Financial Red Flags in a Relationship

Is your relationship doomed?

While you and your partner are compatible in many areas of your life, it is possible to be financially incompatible. Ongoing financial problems can quickly put a strain on your relationship. As such, these are some red flags that you may keep a lookout for.

#1: YOUR PARTNER HIDES HIS OR HER CASH FLOW

What will you do if you find a receipt or a billing statement for a purchase that your significant other made? Moreover, he or she gets defensive every time you bring it up. Over-spending, lying, and hiding finances can destroy any relationship.

Your partner not only spends money without telling you, but also spends a portion of your joint savings and hides it. You can work through your financial issues by attending counseling together.

#2: YOUR PARTNER CONTROLS YOU THROUGH MONEY

One of the financial issues that counselors observe in a marriage is financial abuse. A spouse tries to control the other through money and allowance. This is more common for people who only have a single-income household. It is nice to have someone take care of financial matters, but decisions need to be made as a team.

Your spouse should not hang financial decisions over you once you are married. Consider seeking help before the situation becomes too serious to manage.

#3: YOUR PARTNER LIES ABOUT FINANCIAL MATTERS

One of the biggest red flags that you must watch out for is dishonesty about financial situations. From small instances such as hiding the amount spent on a dress to big instances such as hiding the amount of debt they have, lying about your bad financial situation and spending habits can hurt your relationship.

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Lying sets a precedent for later in the marriage, and it is not a thing that you want to deal with.

#4: YOUR PARTNER HAS AN ADDICTION

It is tough to maintain the stability of your relationship when your partner has an addiction problem. From drug addiction to gambling or shopping addiction, you need to handle your financial issues as a team when addiction is involved.

These types of behaviors can affect your finances and destroy years of hard work. You should certainly see a counselor to work through your partner’s struggles with addiction.

#5: YOUR PARTNER DOES NOT PAY BILLS ON TIME

While everyone makes mistakes, it is a different story if your partner consistently pays his or her bills late. Does your partner notice? Does your partner care?

If you live together, this shows that your partner is not considering you or how unhealthy habits affect the relationship. Discuss this important matter with your partner.

Sources: 1 & 2

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Stuck At Home Valentine’s Day Ideas

Romance does not have to fade just because you are at home. Considering the impact of the pandemic and the need to practice social distancing, you have probably struggled to keep your indoor dates exciting. Fret not! There are a myriad of creative date activities that you can enjoy right in the comfort of your own home.

Spend Valentine’s Day with your special someone with these fun ideas.

#1: DO YOGA TOGETHER

Stretch the night away by practicing couples yoga with your partner. Now is the time find your inner Zen. Poses suitable for couples are more intimate and challenging. It is a shared experience focused more on the connection with one another, rather than just yourself.

#2: MAKE DELICIOUS PIZZA

Add spice to your Netflix and chill by making your own pizza. Try different recipes such as baguette pizza and Marinara pizza.

#3: TEST YOUR SINGING ABILITIES

Do you have a favorite love song? Challenge your partner to a melodious night of karaoke. Sing your hearts out by searching karaoke videos on YouTube. Singing some of your favorite tunes is guaranteed to boost your spirit.

#4: TRY A VIRTUAL MUSEUM TOUR

Whether you are a fan of Vincent van Gogh or cultural art, you can find a virtual museum tour for both of your interests. I recommend watching the National Museum of Singapore’s Zoom Into History Video series. It is an insightful look at the artifacts and everyday objects that have defined our nation’s past. You can also watch the virtual tours streamed on the National Gallery of Singapore’s Facebook Live.

#5: CREATE FUN COCKTAILS

Show off your bartending skills in the comfort of your own space by making a cocktail together with your loved one. Make the Love Potion #9. It is made with gin, lemon juice, simple syrup, and pomegranate juice. Enjoy!

#6: START A BOOK CLUB

Encourage your friends to join your book club. Bring your partner along too. Choose a book to read together with the group and then pick an evening to discuss it over wine and cheese on Zoom or Skype.

#7: HAVE A PHOTOSHOOT

Spare a few hours for an at-home photoshoot. Ensure that your pictures have backdrops and decorations that fit your theme. You can have these photos printed and gathered into an album.

#8: SET THEMATIC NIGHTS

Whether you want to indulge on a game or movie night, you can set February 14 as your “best day ever”. You can forgo dinner by turning the lights out and preparing snacks that can boost your movie night experience. If you cannot agree on a movie you both want to watch, consider the first movie you ever watched together. Alternatively, you can play video games. Your partner can either be impressed by your mad skills on screen or will think it is adorable to see you consistently losing.

#9: INDULGE IN A SPA DATE

Drop in your nearest Lush outlet or create your own DIY bath bombs to enjoy a spa date. Have a bath together with bath salts and bath bombs. Afterwards, you can give each other massages with aromatherapy oils. Lastly, you can give your partner a manicure or a pedicure. Complete the experience with matching robes!

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Sources: 1 & 2

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10 Ideal Dates Based On Your Love Language

When you find the person that truly makes you happy and fulfilled, you will take the extra effort to build a long-lasting relationship. Strengthen the foundation that you built by having date nights or weekend getaways. Make your partner feel loved and appreciated by speaking their love language.

Dr. Gary Chapman is the renowned author of the “5 Love Languages”. It highlights that there are 5 ways that we can communicate love namely through: words of affirmation, receiving gifts, quality time, acts of service, or physical touch. Here are customized and inexpensive romantic ideas suited to your love languages:

RECEIVING GIFTS

For people who are fond of receiving gifts, dedicating the day to arts or shopping can be enjoyable. Schedule a painting night where you paint each other’s canvases. Exchange these trinkets of affection as the day ends. It is not only a fun activity, but also a memorable evening shared with your partner.

Another great idea is a shopping date. Add some spice by shopping for each other. Plan a shopping trip to your partner’s favorite malls. Create some guidelines such as your budget limits and your shopping categories. From an interesting book to a unique article of clothing, choose meaningful gifts for your partner. It is synonymous to playing a game with the added benefit of making your partner feel absolutely adored.

ACTS OF SERVICE

People who speak acts of service primarily feel appreciated when their partner does important things for them such as easing the list of responsibilities they have for the day. Cooking a delicious dinner at home is perfect. It eliminates a task on their to-do list and saves them from spending money. Moreover, you are showing your partner how much you care about him or her.

Another inexpensive date idea is having an art day at home. Gather all your art materials and complete a DIY project together. Make sure you pick a project that will add value to your lives.

QUALITY TIME

It is self-explanatory – people who have quality time as their love language want a fruitful date with their loved ones. You can either have a quiet dinner out or a refreshing hike. Spend uninterrupted time with your partner and chat about your day. Make sure to make a “no phones” policy to soak in each other’s company.

Alternatively, you may hike together. A nice view at the end of your walk will be an extra bonus. The most important thing is that you gave each other an opportunity to spend more time together. Take photos!

PHYSICAL TOUCH

For some people, they indulge in kisses and hugs. It does not have to be a total PDA. Simply make your partner feel safe by sharing a quick peck on the cheek or holding each other’s hands. You cannot go wrong with a couples massage. Either hire a professional or give each other massages.

You may also go ice skating or rollerblading. Hold your partner to avoid stumbling across the ice. Your muscles might be sore afterward, but your partner will be glad.

WORDS OF AFFIRMATION

What are words when you do not mean them when you say them? Express these loving words and show them through making a scavenger hunt or exchanging love letters. Start by creating a scavenger hunt with clues that are meaningful to your relationship (e.g., where your first date was). Add compliments in the process.

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Next, you may exchange love letters. Sit down and write to each other. Watch your partner’s heart melt with your sweet words. Tell your partner why she or he is the reason your life has changed.

Sources: 1 & 2

 

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How To Spend Money Using The 5 Love Languages

Making a conscious effort to speak your partner’s love language allows you to understand each other better and to make him or her feel loved. Dr. Gary Chapman is the renowned author of the “5 Love Languages”. He highlights that there are five ways that we can communicate love namely through: words of affirmation, receiving gifts, quality time, acts of service, or physical touch.

With the continued practice of communicating each other’s love language, a happy and loving relationship will solidify.

WORDS OF AFFIRMATION

People who have “words of affirmation” as their love language value sweet and encouraging words. To them, whispering “I love you” brings more happiness than any expensive give that you can buy. On the other hand, they will feel unappreciated if you do not verbally convey your emotions or if you do not praise them for their accomplishments.

This person will appreciate a handwritten card. A book can be a good choice too. Moreover, you may gift an artwork or a decorative sign with empowering or loving words in it.

RECEIVING GIFTS

For some people, receiving gifts make them feel most appreciated. This does not mean that they are materialistic. They simply love the thought behind every gift. They have special fondness for special occasions such as birthdays, weddings, and anniversaries. Forgetting the special dates and not showing you care can become issues to these people.

If your loved one has this as his or her love language, spend your money on a gift that is important and personal. Buy something that has special significance to your relationship. Also, pay attention to any hints your partner drops.

ACTS OF SERVICE

For many people, actions speak louder than words. To make your partner with this love language feel loved, help him or her with the household chores or with anything that will ease one’s burden. Laziness, broken commitments, and creating more work for them indicates that their feelings do not matter.

Serve your partner by giving a set of “love coupons”. These coupons may contain the following acts: free housecleaning services or free candlelit dinner. Do all the planning and preparing!

QUALITY TIME

For this people, they find the greatest gesture of love in spending undivided attention with the ones they love. It does not matter where you take your partner! What matters most is that you listen actively and you are free from any distractions.

Consider booking a weekend getaway with just the two of you. If it is a family member, go out for a dinner or roam the Botanical Gardens. Make sure you spend an ample amount of time with your loved one. Do not make him or her feel rushed.

PHYSICAL TOUCH

Lastly, people who have physical touch as their love language value appropriate gestures such as holding hands or hugs. If your significant other speaks this language, it is important to appreciate them through your touch. Physical touch fosters a sense of security and care in any relationship. Neglect or abuse can be unforgivable for this people.

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An ideal gift for this person is a massage or manicure. Another option is to book a cuddle session at home while watching Netflix in bed and drinking some hot chocolate.

Sources: 1 & 2

 

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