How to Handle Conflicts with Your Boss

Sometimes the toughest part of your job is not the work…it is the people. The mixture of personalities and individual differences can cause conflicts. In the workplace, conflict causes a significant degree of frustration, discomfort, sadness, anger, and pain. It is a different story when the conflict is between you and your boss.

Where your boss is concerned, you want to be sure to apply plenty of finesse. It is crucial that you remain calm and objective. There is nothing to be gained and much to lose by getting angry and being disrespectful. You may not be able to see each other eye-to-eye, but you will have shared thoughts by further nurturing your relationship. Thay being said, here are some tips you can apply to handle the conflicts with your boss:

#1: ACKNOWLEDGING AND RESPECTING AUTHORITY

Put all your energy into understanding and empathizing with the management’s point of view. Ask open-ended questions until you fully understand where your boss is coming from. Resolution begins with respecting each other’s point of view.

#2: RE-DIRECT THE DISCUSSION

Find a common ground that makes sense for you, your boss, and the organization. Stay on this topic until you identify a mutually beneficial outcome that you can work towards to.

#3: ASK FOR HELP

An honest, sit-down conversation is more likely to yield a thoughtful response than an emotional exchange sandwiched between meetings. Unless it is an emergency, you can ask your boss for an appointment so that you will have time to gather your thoughts. It is best to approach your boss with a calm and collected attitude to get your point across and to ask for necessary help.

#4: KNOW YOUR TIMING

Timing is essential when approaching your boss about issues and other combative events. You may be the perfect target for a feisty exchange if he or she just had a major setback.

Know your timing! Try to avoid addressing conflicts before lunch when hunger might distort reason or just before the end of shift when everyone is eager to go home.

#5: ASK IF YOU CAN SHARE YOUR VIEWPOINT

Once you are given permission to discuss your concern, be clear and compelling. Link your perspective to what matters most to your boss, the organization, and your common goal. If your boss is not (physically and emotionally) available to talk, reschedule the discussion when the dust settles.

Image Credits: pixabay.com

Sources: 1 & 2

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Neighbor Disputes: 5 Ways To Peacefully Manage Them

As I moved to three places in three years, I have had my share of difficult neighbors. You may love your home but getting stuck with awful neighbors can have you thinking of moving out. Here are some tips on dealing with rude, nosy, or difficult neighbors without causing too much drama.

#1: KNOW THE DIFFERENT TYPES OF NEIGHBORS

From nosy neighbors to dangerous neighbors, there are diverse types of neighbors that you need to watch out for. Red flags exist for a reason. Do your best to weigh whether the situation needs to be managed or not. Let us illustrate through the “richer than you neighbor”.

The “richer than you” neighbor refers to the people whom you try to keep up with. These people parade their flat renovations, new car, and shiny gadgets. Despite doing nothing wrong, you may start to brew feelings of jealousy or inadequacy.

Remember that you do not know the whole story. Focus on the qualities of your home that make you happy. Revel in pride as you take care of your indoor garden. Focus on these positive things and stay contented with what you have.

#2: CREATE A LOG OF QUESTIONABLE BEHAVIORS

The truth is, we are not aware of all our actions. Your neighbor may not be aware that he or she often blasts the volume of their television or that you can hear them scream at each other. Make a documentation of the offending behaviors to help your case when you need to present it to the housing board or the property owner.

Store a log of the offending behaviors and take a note when it happens. Add any communication you and your neighbor have had regarding the problem. Do not forget to write what you have discussed.

#3: DO YOUR RESEARCH ON THE RULES AND REGULATIONS

Whether you live in an HDB Complex or a Condominium, there are a set of guidelines dictating tenant behavior. Check your housing contract or do your online research to know the rules and regulations of your place.

For instance, playing loud music after 10 pm is not allowed. If your neighbor is in clear violation of these rules and regulations, you will have a stronger case when you go speak to them.

#4: COMMUNICATE POLITELY AND DIRECTLY

Before going to the upper management to raise your disputes with the neighbors, try to speak with them first. Give your neighbor a chance to fix the problem and hear him or her out. If you are not comfortable with face-to-face confrontation, you may leave a note or send an email to highlight what is going on.

Be polite and direct to let your neighbor know what affects you. Try not to use accusatory language, which can put your neighbor on defensive mode.

#5: DO NOT REACT IN THE MOMENT

The best advice that I received was to put some space between the incident. Do not react in the heat of the moment, because you might do something wrong. Avoid saying anything that you would regret in the future.

Image credits: unsplash.com

Take time to figure out what you want the resolution to be. Your goal is to express what happen and solve the problem together. Compromise if needed.

Sources: 1 & 2

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How To Deal With 3 Divorce-Inducing Money Issues

In the hustle and bustle of the city life, Singaporeans are exposed to the high economic pressures. What makes this concrete jungle thrive? Money, of course. Putting matrimony into the mix makes things more complicated.

Managing money is a complex task fraught with emotion. It is natural that conflicts can arise from time to time. To keep your marriage and finances in tact, open communication and teamwork are essential. If only more couples are having regular conversations about money issues before and after walking down the aisle then, we will less likely to have divorces.

MONETARY IMBALANCE

What will happen when there is a massive earning gap between partners? Or, when a spouse comes from a wealthy family and the other came from humble beginnings? More so, living in a single-income household is not uncommon. Sometimes, the imbalance between two people creates power play.

When power play occurs, the person who earns the most dictate the spending habits of the other. He or she will have personal spending priorities in mind. The other partner simply complies.

Handling this situation is tricky. You can either make a pre-nuptial agreement or open a joint account. Nonetheless, marriage should be founded by cooperation in all aspects.

OPPOSING PERSONALITIES

In the list of reasons why couples divorce, money is among the top answers. Friction brought by money can be due to the opposing personalities of two people. Personality towards money plays a vital part in a couple’s marital bliss or the lack thereof.

Imagine living 24/7 with a hoarder when you are a spender yourself. Or, living with someone who is a risk-avoidant when you are a risk-taker yourself. To the extreme, you may live with someone who believes that the person who dies with the most money wins. These opposing personalities can be mediated by empathy. Walk in the other person’s shoes to understand where he or she is coming from. You may also adopt your spouse’s money habits for a month to see how it works. Paying attention to money habits before and during matrimony can be beneficial. Talking about your financial views and feelings can help put both of you at ease.

OVERWHELMING DEBT

From school loans to shopping addiction, many people come to the altar bearing a financial baggage. If one partner has an outstanding mountain of debt and the other does not, this situation can spark a conflict.

In such situations, people often take solace in knowing that debts are not carried over thru the marriage. However, it is understandable to share the responsibility over housing and child care debts.

Knowing what you are getting yourself into can help you decide how to deal with it. Both partners have to be honest and non-judgmental when discussing about their financial habits and bad records. Apply several payoff strategies soon after. And, seek professional help when needed.

Sources: 1 & 2

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