Communicating your desire to return to work after childbirth

mom and baby

Congratulations on giving birth and finishing your postpartum confinement.

If you’ve been a “career woman” all your life, you may be eager to get back to work after your 30-day confinement period.

So here comes the question:

Should you feel guilty about leaving your baby in the hands of a helper or not?

Well, I don’t think you should be because there’s nothing wrong with wanting to go back to work.

But, if you’ve never had a proper conversation with your spouse about the decision, it might pose a little conflict there.

It’s not always about financial issues

While having a single-income arrangement can put a strain on family finances, I think it’s not always about the money.

Let’s say your spouse has a decent-paying job and can support the family without you working, should you then make the “sacrifice” to stay home and take care of the baby?

Call me selfish but I won’t do it.

Yes, kids grow up fast and I may potentially miss the key moments of their growth if I’m a full-time working parent.

But, I didn’t come this far in my career to give up just because of family commitments.

So here comes the issue: talking to your spouse about it.

Share why returning to work matters to you

My reason to return to work after childbirth may differ from yours but ultimately, you want your partner to understand your stance.

Maybe you have big plans to upgrade from an HDB to a private property.

property showroom viewers

Image Credits: edgeprop.sg

Or perhaps you’re an extreme extrovert that thrives on being outdoors and having a work routine to look forward to.

Whatever the case, share why returning to work matters to you and come to a compromise if necessary.

Key considerations to have during the planning stage

There are inevitably many things to talk about but here are two I think should be settled:

  • Analyze your finances

Let’s say your husband’s income is satisfactory if you stay home to look after the baby 24/7. But if you decide to find a job, this means you will need someone to watch the baby.

Whether it’s leaving your little one to their ah gong/ah ma, considering half/full-day infant care, or hiring a full-time helper, that will mean some additional expenses every month.

Sit down and analyze your personal and family finances together, and see how to work things around.

  • Splitting the childcare responsibility

You’re only going to tire yourself if you parent alone. And you shouldn’t, anyway.

The baby belongs to you and your partner, and since you’re also heading out to work, then core childcare responsibilities should be laid out and split.

It’s impossible to spilt right down the middle but the main idea is to share the burden.

For instance, who’s going to drop off/pick up the baby after infant care hours, and how many “time-offs” does one get in a month (social life stuff)?

Seek parenting advice from others who’re on the same journey

You’re never alone.

Cliche but it’s true.

There are many people out there on the same journey as you are and I believe you will gain a lot from listening to the stories of others.

I found this active, private Facebook group called Stork’s Nest Singapore that has been around for more than a decade with over 14K members:

Stork's Nest Singapore Facebook page

Their posts are centered on babies/children/family/full-time helpers so I think it would be of great relevance to you.

As we close, I just want you to know that there’s nothing wrong with wanting to head back to the workplace. Gender-dictated roles have come so far and what our parents have gone through doesn’t have to dictate our future footsteps. It’s your life ultimately so whether you choose to be a “career woman” or a full-time mom, no one should have the right to point a finger at you and tell you what you should or shouldn’t do.

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Surefire Ways To Save Money As A First Time Parent

Congratulations on becoming a new parent! Welcoming another human being into this world can change your life in many ways. Most of these changes are for the better. While, some changes are challenges too.

I am referring to the hefty price tag attached to child-bearing and child-rearing. You have to spend about S$8,000 to S$18,000 a year for that.

You read that right! You will be spending five figures on groceries, clothes, toys, diapers, hospital visits, and daycare. With a growing list of expenses, you must rethink how to manage your financial life after having a baby. Here are some tips to help you out:

SHAKING THINGS UP

You and your partner have had a working budget for years. And this household budget seem to work fine. However, you have to reset your budget once the baby comes. Your pooled incomes, savings, and investments shall cover your child’s expenses.

Begin by saving for the delivery by taking up Medisave’s Maternity Package. Using Medisave for childbirth can help offset the cost of your hefty delivery. Roughly, you can claim about S$450 per day on hospital stay, S$900 on prenatal expenses, and S$750 to over S$2000 on surgical procedure.

For instance, you wife had a Cesarean delivery and was hospitalized for two days, you will be able to claim about S$900 on prenatal expenses, S$900 on hospital stay, and S$2,150 on surgical procedure. This sums to about S$3950 worth of claims.

FILLING THE PIGGY BANK

It comes as no surprise that education will take a huge toll in your expenses for the years to come. Thus, setting up an education fund for your beloved can help you in the long run. While taking up an education loan is always an option, the cost of schooling gets higher each year. You must start saving money along with the arrival of your little one.

A scenario close to my heart is the effects of my uncle’s death. My uncle is the breadwinner and his son has not yet finished his schooling. As he continue his secondary education, he finds it difficult to fuel his financial resources. If only my uncle set up an education fund beforehand!

Saving up for your child’s education can cushion potential financial bumps. This way, your child will not have to compromise his or her education.

SETTING UP A CAPSULE WARDROBE

Along with the trends of minimalism and sustainable living comes the existence of the capsule wardrobe. A capsule wardrobe enables to the owner to keep key pieces that he or she can mix and match in the years to come. The only challenge when it comes to toddler is that they grow up so fast!

Matching outfits or assorted clothing can be adorable to look at! However, your infant does not need twenty sets of outfits! He or she will grow out of these clothes faster than you can post about it on Instagram. Thus, you must limit your child’s wardrobe. Allow a set of basic items with interchangeable colors and patterns to full your drawer. You do not want to spend on designer clothing that your child will surely ruin with stains and other mishaps!

Image Credits: pixabay.com

Here are just some ways to save money as a first time parent. Make it a habit to check children’s websites and forums for ways to create your own baby food or to conduct your own reading class. Nothing is impossible with a little determination from a parent!

Sources: 1& 2

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