How To Deal with Toxic Family Members

Can you feel the magic in the air? It is whimsical breeze of the holiday season. As the year ends, you have to prepare for countless family gatherings and reunions. While there is no way to completely escape the stressful and awkward situations brought by these parties, there are things you can do to deal with these situations more effectively.

Slow down and relax – it will be over eventually. With that firmly in mind, you will be able to tackle any other situation. Enhance your coping skills by knowing what toxic behaviors are.

Toxic behaviors are unpleasant and unsupportive behaviors, which include people who are being manipulative, judgmental, controlling, and self-centered. Common traits of toxic people, according to licensed clinical social worker Sharon Martin, include:

a. Not showing concern for your feelings, needs, or rights
b. Acting harsh and critical
c. Calling you names
d. Violating your boundaries over and over
e. Refusing to compromise with you on anything
f. Acting entitled
g. Always having to be right
h. Feeling the rules don’t apply to them
i. Making unfair demands on you
j. Not taking responsibility for their actions
k. Blaming others for their mistakes or flaws
l. Rarely saying they’re sorry for something
m. Wild mood and behavior swings, and sessions of rage
n. Lying and/or guilting you to get their way
o. Manipulating you to get to control or take advantage of you and others to get what they want

When you encounter toxic behaviors during family gatherings, remember that you do not always have to agree with these people.

#1: RESPECT EACH OTHER’S OPINION

You do not always have to agree with your family. Family can be your main source of comfort and strength, but it can also be a source of stress. It is not your responsibility to agree with all the beliefs, political views, and other sentiments of your relatives. There is no rule that says that you must have a good relationship with everyone in your family. You have to accept that.

#2: SET CLEAR BOUNDARIES

Toxic people are not motivated to change their behavior. Instead of aiming to change their ways, set your boundaries to protect yourself. For instance, you can politely decline a call request if your sibling continues to curse at you on the phone. State your needs and feelings directly.

 

#3: DEVELOP A ROBUST SENSE OF SELF

People who fail to develop a strong sense of self usually depend on what others say or do not say. These people rely on the presence of others, especially in the presence of family. Observe yourself. Do you manage the anxiety of everyone in your family instead of your own?

Image Credits: pixabay.com

Look inside yourself to manage your feelings and behaviors. Ignoring your own needs results in anxiety and discomfort whenever you are surrounded by multiple family members at once.

#4: KEEP YOUR DISTANCE

To limit the amount of personal information you share, you can emotionally and physically distance yourself. Say your aunt mocks you and makes sarcastic comments about your weight. This is your cue to share as little as possible with her in the future, especially when it comes to your fitness journey.

You do not have to answer private questions too! You can reply by saying: “I would rather not talk about it”.

#5: FOCUS ON THINGS YOU CAN CONTROL

Do not waste your energy on things or scenarios that you cannot control. Instead, devote your energy to tasks and actions that are within your power. Begin the process of healing or restoration.

#6: SWITCH THE TABLES

Turn the question around to make them feel the burn. In many cases, the most awkward questions can be defused by answering the question with another question. Let them answer their own question or at least provide them with a few hints about what they want to hear from you.

Image Credits: unsplash.com

Sources: 1,2, & 3

Read More...

Overcoming postpartum depression as a couple

postpartum depression

You just gave birth—congratulations!

But what if, instead of feeling the delight and excitement that are supposed to come with this new stage in your life, you find yourself feeling weary? This is often what postpartum depression feels like.

If your spouse is dealing with postpartum depression, it can be tough to know how to best support them. You may feel helpless and unsure of what to do. The good news is that there are things you can do to help your partner through this challenging time.

Definition

Postpartum depression is a type of mood disorder that can affect both men and women after childbirth. Symptoms can include but are not limited to: feeling overwhelmed, not wanting to look at your newborn, and losing interest in activities you once enjoyed.

Why is it hard to overcome?

Postpartum depression is hard to overcome because it can make you feel like you’re all alone in the world. You may feel like you’re not good enough, that you’re a terrible mom or dad, that you’re not cut out for this.

All of those negative thoughts can be hard to shake off. But remember that you’re not alone. There are other parents out there who are going through the same thing. You can get better, and you can overcome this.

Warning signs that your partner may be struggling
dad with newborn

Image Credits: baby-chick.com

So, what are some warning signs that your partner may be struggling with postpartum depression? Well, here are a few things to watch out for:

  • Excessive crying
  • Trouble sleeping or eating
  • Changes in mood or personality
  • Withdrawing from friends and family
  • Lack of interest in activities once enjoyed
  • Feelings of guilt, hopelessness, or worthlessness

If you notice any of these signs, talk to your partner and seek help. Postpartum depression can be treated, and early diagnosis is key to a successful recovery.

How you can support your partner through postpartum depression

You want to do everything you can to support your partner through postpartum depression. Here are a few ideas:

  • Don’t judge them. Postpartum depression is a real condition, and it’s not something your partner is choosing or doing on purpose. They need your support, not your judgment.
  • Talk to them about how they’re feeling. This can be tough, but they must know they’re not unaided. Let them know that you’re willing to listen to anything they want to talk about.
  • Offer to help with anything they need. If they’re feeling overwhelmed, offer to take care of the baby while they take a weekend trip away, or make them a meal. Anything you can do to lighten their load will certainly be appreciated.

Postpartum depression is a tricky experience for both the individual and their partner. However, with patience, support and understanding, it can be overcome. Here are a few ways you can help your partner through postpartum depression symptoms: offer emotional support, avoid criticizing or shaming them, and seek professional help if needed. The road to recovery can be difficult, but as a couple, it can be done.

Read More...

Why being strict with your teenager may make them more rebellious

rebellious teenager

As your child reaches their teenage years, one of the most crucial things you can do is find the right balance between being strict and being too lenient.

It’s a common conception that being stricter will make them more obedient, but this isn’t always the case. In fact, it’s possible that being too strict can make them more rebellious. So, what’s the right way to handle teenage rebellion?

Stay on this page for some tips.

The teenage brain is wired for rebellion

So you’re thinking about being stricter with your teenager? Well, you’re not alone. A lot of parents feel like they need to be more stringent to keep their kids in line.

But here’s the thing: the teenage brain is wired for rebellion. It’s during these years that kids are trying to figure out who they are, and they’re naturally going to push against the boundaries that you set for them.

So what can you do? Well, first of all, be consistent. You can’t be stern one day and then let your kid do whatever they want the next day. And you also need to be willing to listen and have a conversation with them. Strictness may get you short-term results, but in the long run, it’s going to be a lot harder to rebuild that trust once it’s been broken.

Teens who feel they have no say are more likely to rebel
parents arguing with their teen daughter

Image Credits: blog.heartmanity.com

If you feel like you’re constantly at war with your teenager, it may be because you’re being too rigid. Believe it or not, this can make them more rebellious.

Teens who feel like they have no say in what goes on in their lives are the ones who are most likely to rebel. So if you want to avoid all the drama, try negotiating with them instead of issuing orders.

It’s not easy, but it’s worth a try. The key is to find a compromise that everyone can live with. You may not always get what you want, but at least your teenager will feel like they’re being heard. And that’s a good start.

Avoid rebellion by building an open and honest relationship with your teenager

This means taking an interest in their lives, talking to them about the things that are important to them, and listening to what they have to say. It also means setting boundaries and rules that they need to follow and making sure that they are held accountable.

When they know that you’re there for them and that you’re not going to put up with any nonsense, they’re less likely to rebel against your rules. So try not to stress too much about it—just be patient and keep on communicating with them, and you will eventually find common ground.

You might be wondering if it’s true that being stricter with your teenager will make them more rebellious. The answer, unfortunately, is yes. Teenagers naturally push the boundaries and test their parents’ limits. When you respond to their behavior with anger and punishment, it only makes them want to rebel more. Try to stay calm and consistent when interacting with your teenager, and find ways to compromise that work for both of you. This will help avoid unnecessary conflict and help them feel more secure in their relationship with you.

Read More...

5 Amazingly Free Website Builders to Use for Your Wedding

Even for experienced event planners, wedding planning can still be overwhelming. From customizing the wedding invitation cards to booking nearby suppliers and creating seating charts, there are lots of elements that need to be taken care of. Fortunately for us, there are a slate of online resources that can help you make your Big Day memorable.

Best of all? All these five website builders are free to use. These websites are user-friendly and come with useful features. Turn your vision into reality by creating the best wedding page for you and your beloved partner.

#1: ZOLA

Website: zola.com

Zola offers beautifully modern templates decorated with calligraphy, illustrations, and customizable color palettes. Choose from templates with vibrant florals, minimalist graphic lines, stunning watercolors, and more. Its features include password protection, photo gallery, travel information, questions for guests, FAQs, itinerary and RSVP management. Your guests can also shop for registry gifts directly on your page.

#2: JOY

Website: withjoy.com

If you are looking for a free wedding website that doubles as a mobile app, search no further than Joy. If your guests download the app, they can interact with you and other guests by uploading your wedding photos, which they can share on Facebook or live stream during your wedding.

Joy offers features such as photo album, RSVP management, welcome story, customizable fonts and colors, wedding party bios, and wedding party highlights. Multiple people can become admins to help ease the planning process. What’s more? You can change the CSS to tweak the little details and include your names in the URL.

#3: MINTED

Website: minted.com

Pick out a template from a wide selection of stunning designs and customizable colors with Minted’s free wedding websites, which have matching invitations available. Use Minted to create multiple event RSVPs, add your wedding story, provide maps and directions, and introduce your wedding party. Other features such as uploading a photo gallery, customizing pages, and having a personalized URL comes with the paid version.

Image Credits: unsplash.com

#4: THE KNOT

Website: theknot.com

With its hundreds of template designs and color schemes, The Knot is one of the most well-known wedding websites today. It allows you to personalize the website URL with your names, to upload your photos to tell your story, to track your guest RSVPs, and to synchronize all the information to its app.

Find a design made to suit your style. Since your love is special, your wedding website should be the same too!

#5: WIX

Website: wix.com

Wix is one of the most recognizable website builders. Join the millions of people who have created their own website at Wix for free. Since Wix does focus mainly on weddings, there are a limited number of wedding website templates here. However, you are free to customize its features such as creating photo galleries, choosing colors, adding mobile optimization, using unlimited fonts, scroll effects, attaching Instagram widget, and using other advanced features such as animation and video backgrounds.

The free version comes with ads, and you will need to purchase the premium version to get rid of it. Furthermore, Wix does not include an RSVP feature.

Read More...

How to make the most of your preschool tour

preschool classroom

You’ve probably already started touring preschools, but if you haven’t, you should be getting started soon! It’s a process that can seem daunting, but it’s crucial to do your research and find the right school for your child.

In this post, we will talk about some things you should look out for when touring a preschool. Keep in mind that every school is different, so these points may not apply to every scenario. But they will give you a general idea of what to expect and what to ask.

Questions to ask the staff

Here are some quick questions to ask the staff:

  • Is there a meal plan?
  • What are the term fees?
  • Is there a sibling discount?
  • Is transportation provided?
  • What are the school’s hours?
  • How many children are in each class?
  • What is the school’s policy on discipline?
  • What is the teacher’s educational background?
How to prepare for your tour

When you go on a preschool tour, you want to be prepared. Here are a few tips:

  • Do your research in advance. Make a list of the schools you’re interested in, and read up on their programs.
  • Be prepared to ask questions. The staff should be happy to answer them, and this is your chance to get a feel of the school.
  • Pay attention to your gut feeling. If something about the school doesn’t feel right, trust your instincts and move on.
What to look for while you’re there
a preschool setting

Image Credits: kiddiwinkie.edu.sg

First of all, take a look at the condition of the facility. Is it clean and well-maintained? Are the children engaged in activities or are their eyes just glued to the projector?

Next, talk to the teachers. Ask them what their teaching philosophy is and how they approach to discipline. Are they nurturing and supportive, or are they serious about teaching values?

Finally, take some time to observe the children. Are they happy and engaged, or are they fidgety and bored? Do they seem to be interacting with their peers and teachers, or are they sitting by themselves?

It’s necessary to find answers to these questions so you can make an informed decision about which preschool is right for your child.

Request to visit during curriculum time

When you go on a preschool tour, be sure to request to visit during curriculum time. This is when you will get to see the teachers in action and get a sense of how the school works.

You will also want to check on the teacher-student ratio. The lower the better, as this will mean that your child will get more individual attention. And don’t forget to ask about the school’s philosophy—you want to make sure that it matches up with your values.

Schedule a follow-up visit to speak to your child’s teachers

After you’ve seen the classrooms and the playground, be sure to schedule a follow-up visit to speak to your child’s future teachers.

This is your chance to ask them more about their pedagogy ideology and get a sense of what it would be like to have your child in their class. Most schools will be happy to oblige and set up a time for you to come back. Be sure to ask about this when you’re making your appointment.

You’re about to take one of the most significant steps in your child’s life: finding the right preschool. First, make a list of what’s vital to you and your family. Maybe you need a preschool that offers a specific curriculum, or perhaps you’re looking for a particular religious affiliation. Once you know what’s noteworthy, it’s time to start touring schools. Be sure to ask plenty of questions and get a sense of the school’s vibe. Finally, trust your gut. If something about a school doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t the right place for your child. Lean on your instincts and you will find the ideal place for your little one.

Read More...