They say that love is unconditional, selfless, and priceless. But the truth is, you have to spend money for roses, dinner, or even diamonds during special occasions such as birthdays or Valentine’s Day. And these gifts do not come cheap! The influence of money on the relationship does not stop there. It is significantly present in marriage. In 2012, a study found that the more regular couples argued over money, the more likely they were to get divorced.
There are different reasons why couples have dispute over money. One reason is the opposing views that deeply affect their values to the point that it is hard for them not to be self-righteous in the subject. Although, if both parties truly love each other and are willing to work things out then, they can set their differences aside. Here are 4 helpful ways to stop your couple woes over money…
1. DISCUSS YOUR VALUES ABOUT MONEY
To prevent another issue to boil, understand each other’s view by explicitly discussing your differences on financial issues. For example, if your partner is a saver then, he or she may view money as an important currency that shall not be wasted.
Learn put yourself in your partner’s situation (i.e., spender or saver) by recognizing his or her financial strengths. For example, if you are buying a washing machine. While a saver may lean towards a cheap and used machine, a spender will want a costly and new machine. Compromise by combining the saver’s ability to get a good deal with the spender’s ability to commit to a new purchase.
Related Article: Psychology of Spenders and Savers
2. RELAX AND WRITE
When faced in a situation where you are already frustrated and about to burst, take a step back from those feelings. Avoid blaming or shouting at each other. Instead, write down your feelings or values about money and how you want your money dynamics to change for the better. When your temper is gone, exchange letters to know where your partner is coming from. If you want to break the cycle of feud, you have to work together to a fresh start.
3. PRODUCTIVELY PLAN TOGETHER
Ensure that you will have a productive and open communication on your financial goals and new budget plan. Change can be difficult and you may need to remind each other of your dreams and budget from time to time.
4. ENCOURAGE INDEPENDENCE
Although you have a joint bank account, you may want to have separate bank accounts for your personal finances including buying gifts for your spouse or child. This degree of financial independence can help you deal with the changes better. Keep in mind that you shall still honor the new budgeting scheme and financial goals even if you have a personal account.
In resolving your money woes with your partner, it is important to keep an open mind. Remember that it is not about winning or superiority, instead it is about understanding your partner’s perspective on money.